Tucker (The Great Escape Part-9)
Left to die in a burning cabin.34 total reviews
Comment from Patrick Bernardy
Ric! I'm back! (Port Raid Review #3)
You have really outdone yourself with this one! A gasoline truck? *shakes head* Wow, I was like ... HOW in the HELL ... are they going to get out of this one?
Ric's Trifecta!
"A giant explosion erupted, sending the lid flying, and calamitous hellfire shooting in all directions." --You do so many things well with your writing of descriptions. But where you really shine is with your descriptions of women, their body parts moving, and shit blowing up. It's in these areas (and they are GOOD areas) that you make your mark!
---"Slip sliding, the muddy goop sloshed over their boot tops and squished between their toes." --Tactile sensations like "goop ... between their toes" is something almost everyone can relate to and gives a vivid impression.
---"Rats squealed, a tone-def rodent-choir ensemble, led by an offkey chorister," --And here we have another great sensory description, this time dedicated to the sense of sound. I loved how you used the metaphor of a choir! (More evidence that you are, in fact, a poet.)
---"a shifted throw rug exposed a previously hidden, flip-up cellar door's side seam." --Yeah. Of course. I was at my wit's end trying to figure out how you were going to get them out of this blazing inferno.
One little error to fix:
---"I've been running for my life ever [sense]." --Should be "since."
Alright, so maybe I will let Farnsworth onto the home team, but with reservations. It was good to learn that Tammy Jo dumped his ass for Tucker. This is the way it should be. I didn't, however, like the ending note where it was said that Tammy and TD would be in danger. Knowing how merciless you are to your characters, I fear for both of them.
I really do.
This is the end of your Port Raid! I thoroughly enjoyed my time visiting you! I shall now head to other ports, but I have you on my maps and charts and shall return again soon! Keep your lighthouse beacon lit, the petite blonde name Bonnie Sinn on the payroll at the Trocadero, and a Rattlesnake kit on ice for me! Take care!
Eyepatch Patrick (and Pookie)
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2024
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Ric! I'm back! (Port Raid Review #3)
You have really outdone yourself with this one! A gasoline truck? *shakes head* Wow, I was like ... HOW in the HELL ... are they going to get out of this one?
Ric's Trifecta!
"A giant explosion erupted, sending the lid flying, and calamitous hellfire shooting in all directions." --You do so many things well with your writing of descriptions. But where you really shine is with your descriptions of women, their body parts moving, and shit blowing up. It's in these areas (and they are GOOD areas) that you make your mark!
---"Slip sliding, the muddy goop sloshed over their boot tops and squished between their toes." --Tactile sensations like "goop ... between their toes" is something almost everyone can relate to and gives a vivid impression.
---"Rats squealed, a tone-def rodent-choir ensemble, led by an offkey chorister," --And here we have another great sensory description, this time dedicated to the sense of sound. I loved how you used the metaphor of a choir! (More evidence that you are, in fact, a poet.)
---"a shifted throw rug exposed a previously hidden, flip-up cellar door's side seam." --Yeah. Of course. I was at my wit's end trying to figure out how you were going to get them out of this blazing inferno.
One little error to fix:
---"I've been running for my life ever [sense]." --Should be "since."
Alright, so maybe I will let Farnsworth onto the home team, but with reservations. It was good to learn that Tammy Jo dumped his ass for Tucker. This is the way it should be. I didn't, however, like the ending note where it was said that Tammy and TD would be in danger. Knowing how merciless you are to your characters, I fear for both of them.
I really do.
This is the end of your Port Raid! I thoroughly enjoyed my time visiting you! I shall now head to other ports, but I have you on my maps and charts and shall return again soon! Keep your lighthouse beacon lit, the petite blonde name Bonnie Sinn on the payroll at the Trocadero, and a Rattlesnake kit on ice for me! Take care!
Eyepatch Patrick (and Pookie)
Comment Written 14-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2024
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Since I don't outline or plan anything out, I was afraid that I might have painted my characters into a corner that I'd never get them out of, short of a miracle. It took this feeble brain two weeks to mold the answer. I hope it worked. Thanks again for finding my goofy blunder. I don't know how I can make such obvious mistakes that a second grader knows better than. And then, I read right through and never see them: plus, neither do most readers. I guess, they don't want to embarrass me. LOL. I can't thank you enough for pointing them out. "Bonnie Sinn" sat, soused, left butt cheek flattened to the bar stool, her opposite proportioned fat-rock rump jiggling like Jell-O as she laughed her buxom boobies right out of her halter top. Without a sign of modesty, she squeezed a milky-white mammary in each hand and shook them like maracas. It's always good to see your name pop up, whether it's one of your posts in my inbox, or our kind review. Much appreciated!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I know I'm very late getting to this chapter, but I'm here now. And what a chapter it was too! How on earth did the cartel know they'd escape from that inferno? It's not as if they made it easy for them. Now they have Tammy and McCann, and it looks like they will be doing nasty things to them. I hope the next chapter comes soon!! Brilliant writing, Ric. Love and hugs. Sandra xx
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2023
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I know I'm very late getting to this chapter, but I'm here now. And what a chapter it was too! How on earth did the cartel know they'd escape from that inferno? It's not as if they made it easy for them. Now they have Tammy and McCann, and it looks like they will be doing nasty things to them. I hope the next chapter comes soon!! Brilliant writing, Ric. Love and hugs. Sandra xx
Comment Written 01-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2023
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Thank you so much, Sandra, for your generous review and kind words. I can't thank you enough for hanging in there with this story that I've dragged out for a long time. I just couldn't let it go, and now I wish I'd dumped it a long time ago. LOL. Love and hugs back at you, my dear! Ric
Comment from Javier Kee
For what I see the writing style is a bunch of quick heavy verb statements yet no depth, real presences of human emotion.
I'm not saying the story isn't interesting or should not be
told but it would help to not make it so thus and thus happens and then thus and thus happens.
It needs to be more depth of emotion intrigue balance of wonder and desire for the reader to be intrigued on what could come next and why is all this happening.
Again, Leave some intrigue and some things to imagination and pluck the hearts strings for a desire to know more by the design and set up of the prose.
I'm not saying you're not a great writer because you are I've had conversations with people about books that have sold many copies that actually weren't written all that well but they were page turners great detail doesn't make for a page turner yet the storyline the intrigue of characters
One example of over detail as you talk about a hot red cherry iron poker or something.
If something is glowing cherry red you already said it is hot with out needing the word hot.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2023
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For what I see the writing style is a bunch of quick heavy verb statements yet no depth, real presences of human emotion.
I'm not saying the story isn't interesting or should not be
told but it would help to not make it so thus and thus happens and then thus and thus happens.
It needs to be more depth of emotion intrigue balance of wonder and desire for the reader to be intrigued on what could come next and why is all this happening.
Again, Leave some intrigue and some things to imagination and pluck the hearts strings for a desire to know more by the design and set up of the prose.
I'm not saying you're not a great writer because you are I've had conversations with people about books that have sold many copies that actually weren't written all that well but they were page turners great detail doesn't make for a page turner yet the storyline the intrigue of characters
One example of over detail as you talk about a hot red cherry iron poker or something.
If something is glowing cherry red you already said it is hot with out needing the word hot.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2023
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Thanks for reading and sharing your views. This is one chapter and 1,100 words of a much larger story, which is full of emotions and character study.
Comment from leather
I am out of six-star ratings, so you must settle for a five. Sorry.
I liked how you included the definition of "Churro Heads" within the work rather than using footnotes. I appreciated that I only had to follow a few characters and read their escapades in bold, large text.
This was fast-paced and an excellent source of inspiration for me.
Thanks for writing.
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2023
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I am out of six-star ratings, so you must settle for a five. Sorry.
I liked how you included the definition of "Churro Heads" within the work rather than using footnotes. I appreciated that I only had to follow a few characters and read their escapades in bold, large text.
This was fast-paced and an excellent source of inspiration for me.
Thanks for writing.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2023
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Thank you so much for your generous review and kind words, and I appreciate you taking time to read.
Comment from Teri7
Wow! Ric, This is a very good chapter with so much great descriptive words and dialogue. The art work you chose to go with your words worked well. Every word I read kept me waiting to see what was going to happen next. I can't wait for the next chapter my friend! Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2023
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Wow! Ric, This is a very good chapter with so much great descriptive words and dialogue. The art work you chose to go with your words worked well. Every word I read kept me waiting to see what was going to happen next. I can't wait for the next chapter my friend! Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 15-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2023
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Thank you so much, Teri, for taking time to read my foolishness that, I know isn?t on your preferred list. I appreciate your generous review and kind words, but most of all you!
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
You might tone down the fire a little as backdraft would have killed them if they hadn't died in their chairs. This is another of your fun, exciting stories with guys arguing as they are trying to stay alive. There are a couple of other misspellings that I can't find back again, but you should change: . . . for my life ever (since).
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2023
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You might tone down the fire a little as backdraft would have killed them if they hadn't died in their chairs. This is another of your fun, exciting stories with guys arguing as they are trying to stay alive. There are a couple of other misspellings that I can't find back again, but you should change: . . . for my life ever (since).
Comment Written 14-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2023
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Thanks for your generous review, kind words, and suggestions. I went back through to find the miss spellings, but couldn?t find them. Much appreciated.
Comment from LJbutterfly
You never disappoint. This chapter, like all the others, is filled with mystery, suspense, adventure, and in this one, muddy goop. Tucker always finds himself in impossible situations, but miraculously escapes. I look forward to chapter 10 and hope it is a long one. I love sitting on the end of my chair waiting to see what happens.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2023
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You never disappoint. This chapter, like all the others, is filled with mystery, suspense, adventure, and in this one, muddy goop. Tucker always finds himself in impossible situations, but miraculously escapes. I look forward to chapter 10 and hope it is a long one. I love sitting on the end of my chair waiting to see what happens.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2023
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Thank you so much, Lorraine, for your always generous and encouraging review. I?m glad I could entertain you with my foolishness. I appreciate YOU!
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Nicely written.
a tone-def rodent-choir ensemble, - (tone-deaf)
they'd just escaped from. - You don't need 'from'. We know just by 'escaped'.
I think I missed a chapter. I'll go back and read, but probably not review.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2023
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Nicely written.
a tone-def rodent-choir ensemble, - (tone-deaf)
they'd just escaped from. - You don't need 'from'. We know just by 'escaped'.
I think I missed a chapter. I'll go back and read, but probably not review.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2023
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Thank you so much, Wayne, for your generous review, kind words, and suggestion. I always appreciate your time and comments!
Comment from Neonewman
Ric, this is the first chapter I've read on your Tucker. I have to say, I was completely engaged. I enjoyed the suspense and if time allows, I must start from the beginning.
Thank you for sharing.
God bless,
Steve
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2023
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Ric, this is the first chapter I've read on your Tucker. I have to say, I was completely engaged. I enjoyed the suspense and if time allows, I must start from the beginning.
Thank you for sharing.
God bless,
Steve
Comment Written 14-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2023
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Thank you so much, Steve, for your generous review and kind words. It?s hard to enjoy a story where you didn?t watch the characters develop, but it makes me appreciate your time and review all the more.
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My pleasure, Ric.
Comment from royowen
Wow, Tucker and Farnsworth still seem to maintain their sense of humour, whether toxic or nor, and seemingly are still entertaining their torturers, I wonder how they're going to get out of this one, with dear ones held over by those cruel types, beautifully written, blessings Roy
Typo : Plus you (drug) Tammy Jo. So why do Americans use that awful word drug when (dragged) sounds so much better? Sorry Ric, but it's so similar to drugged.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2023
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Wow, Tucker and Farnsworth still seem to maintain their sense of humour, whether toxic or nor, and seemingly are still entertaining their torturers, I wonder how they're going to get out of this one, with dear ones held over by those cruel types, beautifully written, blessings Roy
Typo : Plus you (drug) Tammy Jo. So why do Americans use that awful word drug when (dragged) sounds so much better? Sorry Ric, but it's so similar to drugged.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2023
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Thank you so much, Roy, for your generous review, kind words, and suggestion that certainly sounds better. Much appreciated!
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Well done