Return To Concorde Valley
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Reckoning"Fantasy based on the intersection of two worlds.
21 total reviews
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
This is getting so good, I want more. Thanks for writing such a good story sweetie. I gotta go read some more. Have a good week. No need to reply.
Karen
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This is getting so good, I want more. Thanks for writing such a good story sweetie. I gotta go read some more. Have a good week. No need to reply.
Karen
Comment Written 16-Jan-2024
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Hmm, now is he, or isn't he the killer? He has opportunity, and he looks like the man Echo saw watching her. I think I'd have screamed out if I'd received an envelope addressed to me, containing the photo's of Sherry. It shows he is watching her, and there is nothing she can do to stop him at the moment. I think I have one more chapter to read! :)) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
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Hmm, now is he, or isn't he the killer? He has opportunity, and he looks like the man Echo saw watching her. I think I'd have screamed out if I'd received an envelope addressed to me, containing the photo's of Sherry. It shows he is watching her, and there is nothing she can do to stop him at the moment. I think I have one more chapter to read! :)) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 09-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2023
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Hi, again, Sandra. I can?t believe you?ve taken the time to not just read the chapters, but to review as well.
Like you, I had time away, and not all of it was good. It?s hard to restart the writing, and you doing this is so helpful!
My thoughts and prayers are with you on your continuing recovery,
Love and hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from forestport12
The office banter between them and holiday description in office creating a more casual mood. Then officer comes in with his Realistic exchange. Love the description of his character. Love the plot as it progresses.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2023
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The office banter between them and holiday description in office creating a more casual mood. Then officer comes in with his Realistic exchange. Love the description of his character. Love the plot as it progresses.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2023
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Thank you for the six stars, Stan, and for the great feedback on the chapter. I?m glad it was realistic. Thanks for your continued support.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I really like this addition to the story. You did a great job describing the details and the emotion. I couldn't find any way to improve this post. You have us on high alert over this police officer. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2023
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I really like this addition to the story. You did a great job describing the details and the emotion. I couldn't find any way to improve this post. You have us on high alert over this police officer. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2023
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Thank you so much for the review, Barbara. I appreciate you looking it over carefully. It helps to have so many eyes on a project.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Paul Manton
Wow! There's a lot here, Rhonda. You have already hinted more than once about the possible repercussions of Echo's pursuing the killer in her articles - now all our fears have come home to roost!
Really good to set the shocks within the context of a joyful Christmas party - the amalgamation of safety and danger points up Echo's predicament.
Intriguing to know whether this police officer really is the killer; you are leading us in that direction, but I have my doubts. The piece is gripping right through, but I would shorten the last sentence to make it more punchy. Finish on 'pale' or 'pale as snow'. The last little clause is incongruous and takes away the drama.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
Paul
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2023
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Wow! There's a lot here, Rhonda. You have already hinted more than once about the possible repercussions of Echo's pursuing the killer in her articles - now all our fears have come home to roost!
Really good to set the shocks within the context of a joyful Christmas party - the amalgamation of safety and danger points up Echo's predicament.
Intriguing to know whether this police officer really is the killer; you are leading us in that direction, but I have my doubts. The piece is gripping right through, but I would shorten the last sentence to make it more punchy. Finish on 'pale' or 'pale as snow'. The last little clause is incongruous and takes away the drama.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
Paul
Comment Written 27-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2023
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Hi Paul,
Thanks for stopping by to review. Things are about to ratchet up in action and all will be made known.
I'm glad you noticed the contrast in tone. The Christmas party lends its own distractions and points to the serpent in the garden, so to speak.
I did shorten the last sentence and it did sound much better. I was trying to set up the fact that it had begun to snow as that leads into the next chapter, but I can bring that up then and it'll work just fine.
Good call on my illusion with the officer. Makes you forget other people in the room, lol.
Thanks again,
Rhonda
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Thanks, Rhonda - yours was the best response for ages.
Best wishes, Paul
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Awwwwww
Comment from JSD
An excellent piece of writing. Well done. The drama and tension are palpable and the poetic description you employ at times is most effective. The dialogue is authentic. A great read.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2023
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An excellent piece of writing. Well done. The drama and tension are palpable and the poetic description you employ at times is most effective. The dialogue is authentic. A great read.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2023
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Thank you for reading and reviewing, my friend. Your comments are very helpful, and I'm glad you found the poetry embedded!!
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
This is an excellent fantasy book chapter. I enjoyed reading it. Your presentation is very good, too. You also use descriptive words and colorful imagery that draw in a reader. Your dialogue is authentic and supports the story.
Best wishes!
Alexandra
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2023
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This is an excellent fantasy book chapter. I enjoyed reading it. Your presentation is very good, too. You also use descriptive words and colorful imagery that draw in a reader. Your dialogue is authentic and supports the story.
Best wishes!
Alexandra
Comment Written 26-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2023
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Thank you so much, Alexandra! I appreciate the time and care you took to read and leave your comments. They are very helpful.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Very well written. Good work.
Drama and suspense. That's what we live for.
This is a good chapter, rich with credible, bantering dialogue.
The neighbor, Junior, bears watching, though.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2023
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Very well written. Good work.
Drama and suspense. That's what we live for.
This is a good chapter, rich with credible, bantering dialogue.
The neighbor, Junior, bears watching, though.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2023
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Thank you, Wayne, for your helpful comments! I?m glad you noticed the banter and suspense, one breaks up the other, intensifying each other at the same time.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from rspoet
Hello Rhonda,
Another excellent chapter in the murder-mystery story. Echo appears to be a slow learner. She should have heeded the warning of Bessie. Perhaps now she will. The dialogue and little barbs between various characters is well done.
Green eyes are an interesting element of the story. Only 2% of the world population has green eyes, mostly Irish, Scotch, and Icelandic people. In the US, there are about 10% because of the Irish/Scot immigrants. I learned all this when doing genealogy research.
Officer Brady is a good character. With Bessie's warning, he is a natural suspect. I wonder, perhaps he could also be Echo's protector.
Fae are always intriguing. They can control many different things.
Well done.
Best wishes.
Robert
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2023
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Hello Rhonda,
Another excellent chapter in the murder-mystery story. Echo appears to be a slow learner. She should have heeded the warning of Bessie. Perhaps now she will. The dialogue and little barbs between various characters is well done.
Green eyes are an interesting element of the story. Only 2% of the world population has green eyes, mostly Irish, Scotch, and Icelandic people. In the US, there are about 10% because of the Irish/Scot immigrants. I learned all this when doing genealogy research.
Officer Brady is a good character. With Bessie's warning, he is a natural suspect. I wonder, perhaps he could also be Echo's protector.
Fae are always intriguing. They can control many different things.
Well done.
Best wishes.
Robert
Comment Written 25-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2023
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Hi Robert,
Thank you so much for the brilliant review! Six shining stars! Yay!!!
You made an interesting point about Junior, the one overlooked character!
Another point you made about the eye color. I have mentioned eyes that are green and blue green. Great comments and observations!
Theo isn?t Fae, but something similar, and your own the right track!
Thanks again my friend,
Rhonda
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is a really good story and very enjoyable to read. I lose myself in it and might not notice if there was a writing error. Your characters are gaining more differences as time goes by, which is good. Your plot seems solid and is intriguing.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2023
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This is a really good story and very enjoyable to read. I lose myself in it and might not notice if there was a writing error. Your characters are gaining more differences as time goes by, which is good. Your plot seems solid and is intriguing.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2023
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Thank you so much, Carol! I appreciate your comments about the characters and plot. I?m so glad you?re reading it!
Hugs,
Rhonda