Comment from kahpot

Excellent

A wonderful haiku, I like the image given by your words, of the emerging crocodile creating the ripples on the water, enhanced by the shining moon, very well written and presented****kahpot

 Comment Written 23-Sep-2023

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reply by the author on 23-Sep-2023

Thank you very much for your kind review. I appreciate that you took the time to read my poem.

Gypsy hugs

Comment from GWHARGIS

Excellent

Now this one had me until the crocodile stepped in. The imagery was abruptly altered. This shows how good you are. I was trembling at the beginning and then trembling at the finale for a whole different reason. Lol. Gretchen

 Comment Written 23-Sep-2023

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reply by the author on 23-Sep-2023

LoL I had to thrtow in a little horror. I don't know why a cocodrile came to mind. I was looking of reasons why there would be waves on the lake. I have a friend that came up with some really interesting interpretations ... it's part of the haiku fun, each person sees a different thing.

Thank you very much for your kind review, Gretchen.

Gypsy hugs

Comment from shelley kaye

Excellent

for the second line, instead of "the" maybe put a "type" of wave? rippling? shivering? splashing? or some other adjective lol
just a thought ;)


great haiku with good imagery and flow

thank you for sharing
shelley :)

 Comment Written 23-Sep-2023

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reply by the author on 23-Sep-2023

Thank you, good suggestion, I changed it to 'dangerous' it works better. Thank you very much for taking the time to read and review my poem.

gypsy hugs

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Scary waves! If the waves indicate that there's a crocodile, then one should tremble indeed. I like your personification here as even the moon is trembling for the potential victims!

 Comment Written 23-Sep-2023

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reply by the author on 23-Sep-2023

Thank you very much, big sister. How are you doing? I hope you are all well.

Love

Marival

reply by lyenochka on 23-Sep-2023

It's been super busy!! I hope to get caught up soon.

Comment from Jumbo J

Excellent

Hi MariVal,
such a strong metaphorical haiku.
The reflective turbulent waves of emotion.

It packs a lot of imagery in the mind of this reader for such a limited word and syllable count.

But this is me associating it with the emotional side and the crocodile tears that don't live up to their ideal in the insincerity's... supposedly shedding a tear whilst chowing down on their prey. And I guess I alluded to this because of the image displayed?

And looking at it another way... the stealth manner in which a crocodile glides underneath the surface as to not announce its presence until the desired time... and usually to the surprise of whatever may be on the surface.

But on some research:
The phrase derives from an ancient belief that crocodiles shed tears while consuming their prey, and as such is present in many modern languages, especially in Europe where it was introduced through Latin.

So I guess I wasn't too far off, just didn't know where the saying came from.

Anyway, no matter, it makes one think and your poem echoes in the mind of interpretation... and I'm sure everyone will have their own take on it true intention.

With our thoughts we create...
the silence of stealth.

Warmest regards,
James.

 Comment Written 22-Sep-2023

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reply by the author on 23-Sep-2023

Hello, James, part of the fun when I write a haiku is to read all the different interpretations. You and Helen come up with the best ones. I write intuitively and often I don't know where it comes from. But when I wrote it I was thinking about the visual effect.... full moon reflected over the dark lake. Small waves where the crocodile swims through the water making the moon reflection move... that's all in my head ... lol

I'm happy you like it and that it made you ponder, that is what haiku does.

I just finished watching the movie.... the ring.... have you seen it? It's pretty scary. I've watched it a bunch of times.

I was wondering if you use " lol " in Australia. It means laughing outlook.

Have a lovely dusk. It's 10 at night.

Besitos y abrazos

Marival
"Tears are words that need to be written." - Paulo Coelho

I like the idea of crocodile tears.... very cool.

reply by Jumbo J on 23-Sep-2023

The crocodile tears idea is yours... it's written in you image of the crocodile... and with the drops coming down around her... well, you know!

I had another thought before when I was outside admiring the storm clouds in the west covering the sunset, but throwing an amazing colour show... along with the silver linings everyone promises one in a cloud... I felt close to everything and everyone.
So anyway... I started to think about the croc just under the surface... the smooth reflection on the dark moonlit water and how at any time the smoothness is broken... just as we go through life, everything look good on the surface, but underneath, just under the surface we are not so good, or together... it just takes that one disturbance to the smooth in your life, to all of a sudden have the jaws of fate ready to devour you.
Of course it was after I did all my meditations and healing prayer for all who I am connected to... you know that's my me time, the crossover time from day to night. today there is a pretty strong southerly blowing coming straight in off the water. It been warm here the past week or so, but today, the temps dropped... hmmmm, I hope my sourdough rises alright... okay, lol. Back to the connecting with nature and all who I can't be with personally, but somehow are. I had a real emotional time today:I thought about how blessed I am, and how I know this by the earth angels our Creator has sent me have helped me in so many ways, teaching me, inspiring me, befriending me, genuinely caring for me... yeah, I feel it, I know it... I'm not having an episode am I?:)) It's real isn't it? Yeah, it's real... I am a better human being, a better man for all of the very special people in my life. Without fanstory introducing me to some very special humans, my life and pool of consciousness would be less.

reply by the author on 23-Sep-2023

Damn! James, you sure know how to express yourself. You should write a book about your life and the way you connect to nature and the people around you ... specially the ones you care about. The best part? You bake your own bread! hahaha I would buy your book. I know sitting for long periods of time is hard so maybe you can write a book of meditation. I would do the art design for you at no cost.

Thank you, James. I also thank the Creator for crossing paths with you, you are a wonderful friend.

MariVal's abracitos

reply by Jumbo J on 23-Sep-2023

Your encouraging comments always allows the light to shine in... and I thank you for that!
You know me more than most people, I had a bit of laugh when you mentioned the baking... the crust is browning as I write, just about to take it out of the oven.

I'm so grateful to, and for you and our friendship... thank you so much for the offer of the art design... I'll keep that locked away, just in case.

Tu amistad me trae alegría, tu corazón y tu bondad energizan mi ser... y conocerte me permite expandir mi mente a cosas más grandes que la vida estructurada y mundana que llevo. ¡Gracias querido amigo!

reply by the author on 23-Sep-2023

Wow, your Spanish is getting so good!

I wonder what your voice sounds like ... I like Australian accents. I have a strong Spanish accent, even after all these years, I still have it.

Tu amistad es muy importante para mi y pienso en ti todos los dias, imaginando que estas haciendo y pensando en tu paraiso. Me encantan tus mensajes y criticas ... mas de todo... doy gracias al Creador que te trajo a mi vida.

Besitos y abrazos, amigo mio

MariVal

reply by Jumbo J on 23-Sep-2023

Sabes lo que siento por nuestra amistad... La atesoro como si fuera una joya preciosa. Mmmmm, ¿en qué pienso? Por lo general, mis pensamientos son estimulados por cada segundo y cada evento que puede llevarme a ese pensamiento y depende de lo que realmente estoy haciendo. Estoy en el momento, chico... y cuando estoy en el sitio reacciono y respondo a los impulsos que me impulsan... hmmm, tanto como lo hago en la vida. Y, por supuesto, pienso en muchas más cosas intermedias, pero en general trato de que mis pensamientos sean una experiencia positiva para mantener mi mente y mi alma en la dirección correcta. Porque uno de mis matras es... si el pensamiento, o la situación no te sirve, tíralo, no te sirve ni a ti ni a tu crecimiento.

Agradezco a nuestro Creador por esta conexión especial.

reply by the author on 23-Sep-2023

Que bien que escribes El èspañol. Tambien lo hablas? Yo creia que estabas usando un Google traductor pero esto que escribistes es perfecto... muy bien!!! Me encanta!

Yo estoy de acuerdo con tigo. Me gustaria ser mas positiva, especialmente con a mi misma. Pero estoy tratando de aprender. Todavia tengo mucha verguenza de costs que Heche en mi Vida.

Me Paredes que tu eres un monje. LoL pero seriamente, si que piensas como un monje... Me encanta. Bueno, hasta luego.

Besitos y abrazos de tu amiga Español a
Que Dios te bendiga

Marival

reply by Jumbo J on 24-Sep-2023

Well... ah, no I would be in trouble if I didn't have help in my translations... so yes, Google is my go to, but I write every response and correspondence down on paper as to familiarise myself on phrases and words. So yes, my El èspañol is very limited so far, but I am continuing my quest to be better. Do I speak it? Well one night, very late on a TV channel that has foreign movies and series I was convinced I was speaking El èspañol, but silly me, I was reading it and so engrossed in the show... what a nut, hey? I think the show was something like 'In your skin' I loved that show!
And hey(((((, never feel the shame of experiences that just maybe you needed to go through in this life... everything is a lesson and has a reason. We may not know that reason at first glance... but that's because our ego and conscience gets in the way. Embrace the experiences, learn from them and go forth knowing the beautiful human that I know you are... and if you stopped beating yourself up, you'd know you were and are. Life's way to short to dwell my dear friend, learn and be proud of your accomplishments. Positive will always win over negative, just as good rules over bad... it's all perspective.
May God bless you my dear friend.

((Jumbo Hugs!))

reply by the author on 24-Sep-2023

yeah, google translate is great, you had me fooled hahaha I am sorry I went on and on in Spanish. But stick with me, kid, you will be speaking Espanol in no time. :)

Yes everything happens for a reason.

I hope all is well with you, and you feel better.

Be well,

MariVal

reply by Jumbo J on 24-Sep-2023

I'm sticking like chewing gum on the sole of a shoe in the midday scorching sun... sorry, didn't mean to appear to be deceptive. But keep writing and speaking Espanol to me, that's how I'll learn.

One foot in front of the other, that's how I'm feeling... so hope you are feeling great for the both of us, okay!:))

Comment from Bobby Jo

Excellent

This makes me think of the moon reflecting on the lake. Crocodile, makes me not want to think of my image any longer. This was a good poem that puts an image in your mind.

 Comment Written 22-Sep-2023

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reply by the author on 23-Sep-2023

Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.

Gypsy

Comment from royowen

Excellent

Crocodiles and alligators are such furtive, they can silently glide up to you and rake one's life quite violently they have taken a few up in crocdildvcountry up north in Australia, well done, Gypsy, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 22-Sep-2023

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reply by the author on 23-Sep-2023

Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.

Gypsy

reply by royowen on 23-Sep-2023

A pleasure