Fern, Sweet Faerie
Pump A'degau15 total reviews
Comment from Ric Myworld
As I've often said, when it comes to poetry, I wouldn't know a sonnet from sorbet. But I must say, I'm glad to have stumbled across your fine poem. Your last line of verse alone worth it's weight in gold. "Let's walk hand 'n hand, o'er shared motherland, until peace, kindness, and true wisdom flows.
Thanks for sharing.
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As I've often said, when it comes to poetry, I wouldn't know a sonnet from sorbet. But I must say, I'm glad to have stumbled across your fine poem. Your last line of verse alone worth it's weight in gold. "Let's walk hand 'n hand, o'er shared motherland, until peace, kindness, and true wisdom flows.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2023
Comment from jake cosmos aller
lovely poem celebrating friendship. I like the format which you nailed. i like the last stanza best
In faraway lands, Fern welcomes new hands,
applauding such joy lithe faerie steps bring.
At ease, settles down with spark'ling new crown ...
her old town falls like a sad, broken wing.
Humanity's fate, if learned far too late,
will never flourish where dire hatred grows.
Let's walk hand 'n hand, o'er shared motherland,
until peace, kindness, and true wisdom flows.
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lovely poem celebrating friendship. I like the format which you nailed. i like the last stanza best
In faraway lands, Fern welcomes new hands,
applauding such joy lithe faerie steps bring.
At ease, settles down with spark'ling new crown ...
her old town falls like a sad, broken wing.
Humanity's fate, if learned far too late,
will never flourish where dire hatred grows.
Let's walk hand 'n hand, o'er shared motherland,
until peace, kindness, and true wisdom flows.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2023
Comment from Eternal Muse
A beautiful poem of Fern, sweet fairy. The most gorgeous presentation and thank you for your detailed author Note which explains many things.
Loved your picture.
We need angels like that in our lives.
A delightful read.
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A beautiful poem of Fern, sweet fairy. The most gorgeous presentation and thank you for your detailed author Note which explains many things.
Loved your picture.
We need angels like that in our lives.
A delightful read.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2023
Comment from Bill Schott
This poetic tale, Fern, Sweet Faerie, presented in three octaves, follows the simple observation that Fern connected the best in nature so that life was held up and happiness enjoyed. Without her, the opposite reality was allowed to rush in and destroy.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2023
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This poetic tale, Fern, Sweet Faerie, presented in three octaves, follows the simple observation that Fern connected the best in nature so that life was held up and happiness enjoyed. Without her, the opposite reality was allowed to rush in and destroy.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2023
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Absolutely Bill! Thanks for the review!! 😊
Comment from Boogienights
How lovely. A very whimsical and happy verse, it lifted my spirits. The picture you included fits your poem perfectly. I think this is very nice contest entry, best of luck.
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How lovely. A very whimsical and happy verse, it lifted my spirits. The picture you included fits your poem perfectly. I think this is very nice contest entry, best of luck.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2023
Comment from Sally Law
Virtual six, my friend. This is magnificent poetry. The student has become the master as you have followed Richard Jenkins' masterful way with poetry forms. Beautifully penned and illustrated as always. Flawless!
Sending you my best today as always, and blessings to you all,
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2023
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Virtual six, my friend. This is magnificent poetry. The student has become the master as you have followed Richard Jenkins' masterful way with poetry forms. Beautifully penned and illustrated as always. Flawless!
Sending you my best today as always, and blessings to you all,
Sal XOs
Comment Written 20-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2023
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Thanks Sal, he?s? unbelievably talented and dedicated to the art. Agreed, my style of writing and his poetic forms do blend well together. Thanks for the review!! Stay well 😊♥️
Comment from Eleri
This is a difficult form but you appear to have mastered it well. The story is delightful and I understand why you have used some word abbreviations such as 'pon, 'round and 'mongst but I must admit that they really do not work for me. I presume you are trying to make this sound like older style poetry where such abbreviations were rife. In which case you have done a good job so I will not complain. I tried reading this poem out loud, as I do with all poems, and I did find that a couple of the lines, although having the correct metre, were difficult to read with any flow. These lines were line seven in the first stanza, line six in the second stanza and the first line in stanza three. I think that the problem with them is that you want to put the emphasis on the 'wrong' syllable because of the way you have written them. Having said all of the above, these are really minor points that do not detract from a lovely wistful poem so good luck in the contest
Eleri
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2023
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This is a difficult form but you appear to have mastered it well. The story is delightful and I understand why you have used some word abbreviations such as 'pon, 'round and 'mongst but I must admit that they really do not work for me. I presume you are trying to make this sound like older style poetry where such abbreviations were rife. In which case you have done a good job so I will not complain. I tried reading this poem out loud, as I do with all poems, and I did find that a couple of the lines, although having the correct metre, were difficult to read with any flow. These lines were line seven in the first stanza, line six in the second stanza and the first line in stanza three. I think that the problem with them is that you want to put the emphasis on the 'wrong' syllable because of the way you have written them. Having said all of the above, these are really minor points that do not detract from a lovely wistful poem so good luck in the contest
Eleri
Comment Written 20-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2023
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Hello! Thanks for the review and comments. Yes, not everyone likes word abbreviations but it is my style of writing?and since most of my poetry is love poetry? it suites it well.😊 This form is complicated with very strict rules. I don?t see much or any original forms here. I think that may throw people off some. I really enjoy formatted poetry. Thanks you for your comments in detail! I appreciate that.🌼
Comment from JSD
A medieval style poem, redolent of Yeats, or early courtly love poems. Even La Belle Dame, with its magical theme. Excellently written with a gorgeous choice of language and imagery. Well done!
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A medieval style poem, redolent of Yeats, or early courtly love poems. Even La Belle Dame, with its magical theme. Excellently written with a gorgeous choice of language and imagery. Well done!
Comment Written 20-Sep-2023
Comment from kahpot
Wow! how difficult this form seems, (to me) yet your version of it flows with ease, it really made me feel so peaceful as though there is a place for us all to find our happiness, with all that is happening in the world, we can reach fulfillment, very well written****kahpot
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Wow! how difficult this form seems, (to me) yet your version of it flows with ease, it really made me feel so peaceful as though there is a place for us all to find our happiness, with all that is happening in the world, we can reach fulfillment, very well written****kahpot
Comment Written 19-Sep-2023
Comment from WalkerMan
Congratulations on your 200th post here, especially with this thought-provoking story-in-a-poem in this advanced "Fives 'n Tens" form from your fine mentor, Richard W. Jenkins (longtime FanStorian Richard J).
Your ability to convert his challenging poetic forms into beautiful poetic art is unsurpassed, and the result is always a delight.
In the first stanza, you introduce lovely faerie Fern and the effect of her sweet songs and "whimsical dance" for the benefit of all.
In the second stanza, jealous "mean-hearted fools" prompt local town folks to drive Fern away, thereby causing unprecedented drought, bringing misery and regret to all in that area.
In the third stanza, Fern finds other people who appreciate her efforts, so she settles there and blesses them with her benefits. The lesson in this story is that humanity cannot flourish under "dire hatred." Consequently, my favorite lines are the last two:
Let's walk hand 'n hand, o'er shared motherland,
until peace, kindness, and true wisdom flows.
Superb, true to the "Fives 'n Tens" form, and beautifully illustrated.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2023
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Congratulations on your 200th post here, especially with this thought-provoking story-in-a-poem in this advanced "Fives 'n Tens" form from your fine mentor, Richard W. Jenkins (longtime FanStorian Richard J).
Your ability to convert his challenging poetic forms into beautiful poetic art is unsurpassed, and the result is always a delight.
In the first stanza, you introduce lovely faerie Fern and the effect of her sweet songs and "whimsical dance" for the benefit of all.
In the second stanza, jealous "mean-hearted fools" prompt local town folks to drive Fern away, thereby causing unprecedented drought, bringing misery and regret to all in that area.
In the third stanza, Fern finds other people who appreciate her efforts, so she settles there and blesses them with her benefits. The lesson in this story is that humanity cannot flourish under "dire hatred." Consequently, my favorite lines are the last two:
Let's walk hand 'n hand, o'er shared motherland,
until peace, kindness, and true wisdom flows.
Superb, true to the "Fives 'n Tens" form, and beautifully illustrated.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2023
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Mike! You can?t write a review better than the poem!!! 😊 yes, you nailed it exactly as I intended this poem to be! Glad you enjoyed it and six shiny stars!!! Thanks Mike!!
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You are most welcome, Susan. You really are a master poet, thanks to your mentor, Richard W. Jenkins and your own efforts. I know how busy you are now, so I am delighted when you post a new poem. I have always liked your poetic style, regardless of poetic form; and this one is no exception. I also like the beautiful paintings you find to use as illustrations. You certainly earned the sixth star. Richard must be proud of your progress. :)) -- Mike
