Making My Way
A marriage will amble on in its final stages of life.2 total reviews
Comment from Eleri
You have mastered the Rondeau form well in this poem but I am a bit confused by some of your rhyming. I had to look up 'trife' as I believe that it is hip-hop slang for a trifling matter and as far as I know Fife is part of Scotland. Did you mean that exactly? Also your rhythm is a bit patchy in places varying from nine to fourteen beats per line. Having said that this is an interesting poem so good luck in the contest
Eleri
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2023
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You have mastered the Rondeau form well in this poem but I am a bit confused by some of your rhyming. I had to look up 'trife' as I believe that it is hip-hop slang for a trifling matter and as far as I know Fife is part of Scotland. Did you mean that exactly? Also your rhythm is a bit patchy in places varying from nine to fourteen beats per line. Having said that this is an interesting poem so good luck in the contest
Eleri
Comment Written 19-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2023
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Thank you for reviewing. Yes the Fife is a shrill sounding flute used as imagery here and most trife refers to the unforgiveable sins.
Comment from Claire Tennant
This is a beautiful but sad poem, with good use of the photo image. The words tantalise the imagination though the pain is evident. A pang of guilt and the will to go on despite the pain take the reader from sadness to joy. Well done.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2023
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This is a beautiful but sad poem, with good use of the photo image. The words tantalise the imagination though the pain is evident. A pang of guilt and the will to go on despite the pain take the reader from sadness to joy. Well done.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2023
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Thank you!