Imagine My Surprise
Walking the tracks.30 total reviews
Comment from LJbutterfly
This is a well written flash fiction story with a great theme...Imagine my surprise. It is well developed and evenly paced. With only one character, the protagonist speaks directly to the reader. Very creative. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2023
This is a well written flash fiction story with a great theme...Imagine my surprise. It is well developed and evenly paced. With only one character, the protagonist speaks directly to the reader. Very creative. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2023
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Thank you for this nice review and the good luck wishes . Gretchen
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Imagine being smashed by a train you did not hear because of the Rolling Stones singing.
Imagine rolling down the tracks with the train.
Imagine this is a well written Flash.
You do not have to Imagine because it is clear, concise, and spot on, particularly the "flash".
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2023
Imagine being smashed by a train you did not hear because of the Rolling Stones singing.
Imagine rolling down the tracks with the train.
Imagine this is a well written Flash.
You do not have to Imagine because it is clear, concise, and spot on, particularly the "flash".
Comment Written 20-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2023
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Thank you for this awesome review. I appreciate your comments. Gretchen
Comment from JT traveller
Imagine indeed! Did you see Mick? Now that would be a surprise.
So many thoughts racing through my mind as to what happens next. The endless possibilities...
This is a great piece. I really enjoyed reading it, Gretchen. Take care, Jacqui xx
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2023
Imagine indeed! Did you see Mick? Now that would be a surprise.
So many thoughts racing through my mind as to what happens next. The endless possibilities...
This is a great piece. I really enjoyed reading it, Gretchen. Take care, Jacqui xx
Comment Written 20-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2023
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Imagine whatever you want. That's what I wanted. Most people went with the train angle but I gotta say, I liked the Mick Jagger angle. Lol. Thank you for this awesome review. Gretchen
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Gretchen,
there are a few places I wouldn't be listening to music. Walking on the tracks is one of them. That would be a surprise. When I was young and very stupid, we used to put rocks on the tracks. Trains always fascinated me. I was fortunate to never have a close encounter with one. Well done on your FF gal. Good luck in the contest.
Blessings, Tom
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2023
Hello Gretchen,
there are a few places I wouldn't be listening to music. Walking on the tracks is one of them. That would be a surprise. When I was young and very stupid, we used to put rocks on the tracks. Trains always fascinated me. I was fortunate to never have a close encounter with one. Well done on your FF gal. Good luck in the contest.
Blessings, Tom
Comment Written 19-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2023
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I don't think I'd walk down the middle if them ... and definitely not with ear buds listening to loud music. Thank you very much. Gretchen
Comment from royowen
Isn't that the problem with sticking these sound bud in the ear, the worship team use them now now, I remember the the old muffs on the ears, I don't know whether I could wear those buds, particularly on the train tracks,,,,well done Gretchen, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2023
Isn't that the problem with sticking these sound bud in the ear, the worship team use them now now, I remember the the old muffs on the ears, I don't know whether I could wear those buds, particularly on the train tracks,,,,well done Gretchen, blessings Roy
Comment Written 19-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2023
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I agree. I like the old fashioned headphones. Stupid move wearing them on the tracks. Gretchen
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That?s right
Comment from w.j.debi
Oh, no! A train on what you thought was an abandoned train track. I hope there is time and a place to jump off to the side and save yourself.
You do a great job setting the scene by describing the surroundings, the actions of the character, and the thoughts going through the character's mind.
Best of luck in the contest with this gem.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2023
Oh, no! A train on what you thought was an abandoned train track. I hope there is time and a place to jump off to the side and save yourself.
You do a great job setting the scene by describing the surroundings, the actions of the character, and the thoughts going through the character's mind.
Best of luck in the contest with this gem.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2023
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Thanks so much. Gretchen
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Not a great surprise. Thank you for sharing this flash fiction contest entry with us. I enjoyed reading. You told an entire story and used only a few words. That always impresses me. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2023
Not a great surprise. Thank you for sharing this flash fiction contest entry with us. I enjoyed reading. You told an entire story and used only a few words. That always impresses me. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2023
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Thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Gretchen
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
LOL!! That is so funny!!! Gretchen you can certainly come up with some fabulous stories, this one made me laugh my socks off!! I think that's called something like 'dark humour?' I liked it, and I hope you win! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2023
LOL!! That is so funny!!! Gretchen you can certainly come up with some fabulous stories, this one made me laugh my socks off!! I think that's called something like 'dark humour?' I liked it, and I hope you win! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 19-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2023
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Thank you. Didn't want to get too dark. It could be a train, a bicycle, a bouncing ball. I'm glad you liked it. Gretchen . And thank you for the wishes.
Comment from jmdg1954
Gretchen,
I am out of six stars, I'm sorry. This is (to me) a perfectly written flash post.
Short, concise sentencing, charector, plot, and a thrilling ending.
Best of luck in the contest.
Cheers to 'brown sugar'...
John
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2023
Gretchen,
I am out of six stars, I'm sorry. This is (to me) a perfectly written flash post.
Short, concise sentencing, charector, plot, and a thrilling ending.
Best of luck in the contest.
Cheers to 'brown sugar'...
John
Comment Written 19-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2023
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No six necessary. I'm just happy you enjoyed it. Thank you so much. Gretchen
Comment from BethShelby
Neat flash fiction left unfinished because the surprise was a little to much. That isn't the kind of surprise anyone would wants, and if I'm to follow this to the logical conclusion, imagine my surprise if this post was written by a ghost.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2023
Neat flash fiction left unfinished because the surprise was a little to much. That isn't the kind of surprise anyone would wants, and if I'm to follow this to the logical conclusion, imagine my surprise if this post was written by a ghost.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2023
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This was an awesome review. Very fun. Glad you liked it. Gretchen