2023 Gypsy's Free Verse
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "I Wish ...".
12 total reviews
Comment from LateBloomer
Hi Gypsy, this is a powerful poem. Many people go through the same exact feelings of what you write. Of special note:
I feel like a square
trying to fit in a star
(Good imagery and sensory appeal.)
Perfect photo choice. Well done. I'm sorry that you had a tough day. Hang in there. "Free verse is free-flow from the heart ~ LateBloomer"
Xo. M
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2023
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Hi Gypsy, this is a powerful poem. Many people go through the same exact feelings of what you write. Of special note:
I feel like a square
trying to fit in a star
(Good imagery and sensory appeal.)
Perfect photo choice. Well done. I'm sorry that you had a tough day. Hang in there. "Free verse is free-flow from the heart ~ LateBloomer"
Xo. M
Comment Written 16-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2023
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Thank you very much, my friend, I appreciate that you took the time to read and review my poem.
Gyspy hugs
Comment from Mary Vigasin
In your words, you can hear the despair of someone who feels inadequate, sad, and unattractive in a world supposedly filled with successful, smart, and attractive beings.
In your words, you can hear the reassuring voice of encouragement and love.
Brilliant conversation poem.
Best wishes,
Mary
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2023
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In your words, you can hear the despair of someone who feels inadequate, sad, and unattractive in a world supposedly filled with successful, smart, and attractive beings.
In your words, you can hear the reassuring voice of encouragement and love.
Brilliant conversation poem.
Best wishes,
Mary
Comment Written 16-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2023
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Thank you very much, my friend, I appreciate that you took the time to read and review my poem.
Gyspy hugs
Comment from GWHARGIS
My middle daughter could have been the one that feels this way. Doesn't matter how many times we tell her how special she is. She feels worthless. It's terrible to know she feels like this. Breaks my heart. I hope you realize just how special you are. I enjoy your poetry and your reviews. We all can use a hug now and then. Sending you a virtual one. Gretchen
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2023
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My middle daughter could have been the one that feels this way. Doesn't matter how many times we tell her how special she is. She feels worthless. It's terrible to know she feels like this. Breaks my heart. I hope you realize just how special you are. I enjoy your poetry and your reviews. We all can use a hug now and then. Sending you a virtual one. Gretchen
Comment Written 15-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2023
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I accept your virtual hug with an open heart. I'm grateful for all the friends I have in fanstory. I'm going through therapy... hopefully I will learn to love myself. Have a wonderful weekend.
Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words. Gypsy hugs
Comment from Mike Stevens
Another fine poem, Gypsy....both positive yet negative at the same time. Sad that you are so tough on yourself and I don't like it, although believe me, I share the view as I look in the mirror
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2023
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Another fine poem, Gypsy....both positive yet negative at the same time. Sad that you are so tough on yourself and I don't like it, although believe me, I share the view as I look in the mirror
Comment Written 15-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2023
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Thank you very much for your excellent review, feedback, and kind words.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from aryr
Wow!!! This was definitely a tongue twister, Gypsy. The pictures of the lonely girl was wonderful, she was talking to God or Christ. Very well done and greatly enjoyed. Blessed Be n Hugs!!!
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2023
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Wow!!! This was definitely a tongue twister, Gypsy. The pictures of the lonely girl was wonderful, she was talking to God or Christ. Very well done and greatly enjoyed. Blessed Be n Hugs!!!
Comment Written 15-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2023
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Thank you very much for your excellent review, feedback, and kind words. Blessed be.
Gypsy hugs
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Most welcome, Gypsy.
Comment from shelley kaye
i'm in this poem - i feel seen, so for that, i thank you... but i do hope you feel better soon.
a great free verse
loved the square in a star stanza!
one suggestion i have is maybe put the odd-numbered stanzas in a different font? or centered? eh just a thought...
nice work!
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2023
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i'm in this poem - i feel seen, so for that, i thank you... but i do hope you feel better soon.
a great free verse
loved the square in a star stanza!
one suggestion i have is maybe put the odd-numbered stanzas in a different font? or centered? eh just a thought...
nice work!
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
Comment Written 15-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2023
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Thank you very much for your excellent review, feedback, and kind words.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from AP Apgar
I like your free verse - excellent picture presentation supporting - I like the way you created the conversation between , what appears to be a parent and a child- supporting her feelings of inadequacy- very clever write- nice job AP
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2023
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I like your free verse - excellent picture presentation supporting - I like the way you created the conversation between , what appears to be a parent and a child- supporting her feelings of inadequacy- very clever write- nice job AP
Comment Written 15-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2023
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Thank you very much for your excellent review, feedback, and kind words.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi MariVal,
firstly, let me say how clever this two-way conversation free verse is... yes, I know writing in this style has been done or attempted before... I'm sure?
But for me, the way it works on the page and to the reader is clear and is one of those free verses that enters one soul.
How could it not when emotion is it's catalyst and the wisdom of the caring sage on the other side of it... they blend and work so well. I love the advice and reasoning... what a comfort to someone in such obvious pain!
Your second to last verse sums it all up perfectly.
You are perfect the way you are...
just breathe and hold on for the wild ride that is life...
I'll be by your side.
Beautiful, even in the uncertainty there is light and with light there is always hope.
May your days be calmer, more peaceful within your mind... and may you know just how valued you are as a beautiful and perfect contributor in this wild ride we call, life.
With our thoughts we create...
a voice of comfort and reason.
Warm regards,
James.
We are healed of a suffering only by experiencing it to the full. The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world. You were born a child of light's wonderful secret-- you return to the beauty you have always been!
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2023
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Hi MariVal,
firstly, let me say how clever this two-way conversation free verse is... yes, I know writing in this style has been done or attempted before... I'm sure?
But for me, the way it works on the page and to the reader is clear and is one of those free verses that enters one soul.
How could it not when emotion is it's catalyst and the wisdom of the caring sage on the other side of it... they blend and work so well. I love the advice and reasoning... what a comfort to someone in such obvious pain!
Your second to last verse sums it all up perfectly.
You are perfect the way you are...
just breathe and hold on for the wild ride that is life...
I'll be by your side.
Beautiful, even in the uncertainty there is light and with light there is always hope.
May your days be calmer, more peaceful within your mind... and may you know just how valued you are as a beautiful and perfect contributor in this wild ride we call, life.
With our thoughts we create...
a voice of comfort and reason.
Warm regards,
James.
We are healed of a suffering only by experiencing it to the full. The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world. You were born a child of light's wonderful secret-- you return to the beauty you have always been!
Comment Written 15-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2023
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review my poem. I went through it this morning and changed a few things. Yesterday was more of a free falling bunch of thoughts and emotions.
I really appreciate your exceptional six stars review because you know me well and I know you understand. Thank you for being such a caring friend.
Have a wonderful weekend.
Abracitos y besitos
Marival
"You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness" --Jonathan Safran Foer
Comment from Paul Manton
Dear Gypsy, I know a lot about you now (because you have told me a lot) and how much you suffered through family and at the hands of a despotic church - but that church has absolutely nothing to do with the Jesus of the Gospel stories. That church=The Pharisees who are condemned as hypocrites and 'false shepherds'.
But you have (by design or by accident) written a perfect script for the Jesus I follow, who sees you as perfect and of infinite value. He is the only one who never lets me down. He is the only one who died for me. He is the only one who can take me (in His arms) into heaven.
You don't need to wish; you just accept. He is real.
Love from Paul
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2023
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Dear Gypsy, I know a lot about you now (because you have told me a lot) and how much you suffered through family and at the hands of a despotic church - but that church has absolutely nothing to do with the Jesus of the Gospel stories. That church=The Pharisees who are condemned as hypocrites and 'false shepherds'.
But you have (by design or by accident) written a perfect script for the Jesus I follow, who sees you as perfect and of infinite value. He is the only one who never lets me down. He is the only one who died for me. He is the only one who can take me (in His arms) into heaven.
You don't need to wish; you just accept. He is real.
Love from Paul
Comment Written 15-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2023
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You are right. I did have Jesus in mind but it can also be taken as a parent and chil within. Different reviewers are reading it in different ways and that's okay.
Thank you, John.
Gypsy hugs
"You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness" - Jonathan Safran Foer
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Thank you, Gypsy, but I'm not John.
I'm still Paul.
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I'm sorry, Paul. I reviewed John right before you. I know you are Paul.
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Not to worry. JSD is my best friend here.
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Are you British too?
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Hi Gypsy - I thought you'd read my blog.
I live in London (more than half my life) but I was born near Liverpool. I moved around the country quite a bit because of a variety of jobs. My blog has much more.
Wishing you a great new week.
Paul
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I hadn't but I read it now. Liverpool where the Beatles came from. I grew up catholic but had bad experiences. I attended the episcopal church in Sacramento, California... I liked it a lot. It has the beauty of catholic cathedrals but more open minded. Do you know Helen (lyenochka)? She is a Bible scholar too. She is one of my best friends. I see you are new to fanstory. Let me know if I can help to navigate the site.
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Not too new, Gypsy. We have had several conversations before.
Helen is one of my best friends too. She knows a lot about me.
Very best wishes, Paul
Comment from Debi Pick Marquette
OMGosh, Gypsy, that first voice sounds so familiar. I think that second voice that is so reassuring, in so many ways comes from here. Some of the most encouraging voices I've ever heard. I am maybe so way off but I hope this isn't your adult talking to your inner child. If so, I truly understand. Your free verse comes from such a deep place in your heart. It is as lovely as any I've heard before. I am so glad that I came here to enjoy, as I knew I would. Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you for being beautiful youâ?£ď¸?
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2023
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OMGosh, Gypsy, that first voice sounds so familiar. I think that second voice that is so reassuring, in so many ways comes from here. Some of the most encouraging voices I've ever heard. I am maybe so way off but I hope this isn't your adult talking to your inner child. If so, I truly understand. Your free verse comes from such a deep place in your heart. It is as lovely as any I've heard before. I am so glad that I came here to enjoy, as I knew I would. Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you for being beautiful youâ?£ď¸?
Comment Written 14-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2023
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Thank you, Debi. Yes, it can be the inner child and the parent self. Some people think it's God. I think both work. It could also be a parent and child.
Thank you for the exceptional six stars review!!!!
gypsy hugs