Two ways to live
A choice between ...26 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
A beautiful meditation! And yes, it is worrisome as we age if we will be the cranky Alice or the lovely and caring Barbara who looks outward to the needs of others even though she is physically suffering. I agree with that prayer and also a prayer of service for His Kingdom no matter how small it can be when our abilities diminish.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2023
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A beautiful meditation! And yes, it is worrisome as we age if we will be the cranky Alice or the lovely and caring Barbara who looks outward to the needs of others even though she is physically suffering. I agree with that prayer and also a prayer of service for His Kingdom no matter how small it can be when our abilities diminish.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2023
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Thank you very much for this very nice review. Lovely last sentence, and yes, the service can be simply being a role model of faith and peace despite all circunstances, or how to live well and die well.
Wendy
Comment from patcelaw
Every person that is coming near the end of their lives and has lost control of so many things in their lives. Needs to read this. I am 85. I am losing my vision but I have a wonderful home in which to live. I live with my daughter and son-in-law. I have two rooms, a sitting room and a bedroom. I have my own private bath and I have access to the kitchen. I am eternally grateful for everything that I have. I know my years may not be long upon this earth, but like you say you want to be able to e grateful. There are times that I do hold my tongue because I do not want to hurt people with my words. When I was in rehab, the nurses really liked me because I took charge of what I wanted to do that day and let them know rather than them haven't asked me what they wanna make you do.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2023
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Every person that is coming near the end of their lives and has lost control of so many things in their lives. Needs to read this. I am 85. I am losing my vision but I have a wonderful home in which to live. I live with my daughter and son-in-law. I have two rooms, a sitting room and a bedroom. I have my own private bath and I have access to the kitchen. I am eternally grateful for everything that I have. I know my years may not be long upon this earth, but like you say you want to be able to e grateful. There are times that I do hold my tongue because I do not want to hurt people with my words. When I was in rehab, the nurses really liked me because I took charge of what I wanted to do that day and let them know rather than them haven't asked me what they wanna make you do.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2023
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You sound like such a lovely person with your positive attitude, and gentle spirit of thankfulness. Loss of control is perceived as a negative by most, but it can be freeing to be able to relinquish that control to a supportive loved one who will care about you. Many thanks for your lovely review, and also for the beautiful gift of six stars.
Wendy
Comment from Verna Cole Mitchell
I love your prayer for today and everyday. I'm already old, and one of my favorite wishes to be always is "kind." I haven't mastered it completely, but I've surely tried, just as Alice's exemplifies. I enjoyed reading this. I don't have concerns for the person you will be as you get older!
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023
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I love your prayer for today and everyday. I'm already old, and one of my favorite wishes to be always is "kind." I haven't mastered it completely, but I've surely tried, just as Alice's exemplifies. I enjoyed reading this. I don't have concerns for the person you will be as you get older!
Comment Written 12-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023
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Always being kind is quite difficult, I find. Thank you so much for a very positive review - I appreciate your encouraging words greatly.
Wendy
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Wendy,
I don't think you'll ever have to worry about becoming and old grouch, hard to live with. I, on the other hand, better start working on being nicer. I'm quite opinionated. Like most people, I like to have things my way. My kids have already stated that they wouldn't let me go to a home if I ever got to where I couldn't take care of myself, but I wouldn't want to be a burden to them either. I would hope that I would die before it came to that, but I'm not going to spend time worrying about it. Thanks for sharing this story. I hope that Barbara's husband wakes up before it's too late. He sounds incredibly selfish. I wonder sometimes how such different personalities ever paired up. Well done gal.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023
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Hello Wendy,
I don't think you'll ever have to worry about becoming and old grouch, hard to live with. I, on the other hand, better start working on being nicer. I'm quite opinionated. Like most people, I like to have things my way. My kids have already stated that they wouldn't let me go to a home if I ever got to where I couldn't take care of myself, but I wouldn't want to be a burden to them either. I would hope that I would die before it came to that, but I'm not going to spend time worrying about it. Thanks for sharing this story. I hope that Barbara's husband wakes up before it's too late. He sounds incredibly selfish. I wonder sometimes how such different personalities ever paired up. Well done gal.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
Comment Written 12-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023
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Lol,Tom, you sound pretty nice to me. I like things my way too, but now I'll need to work out how important that is in the big scheme of things. I very much enjoyed your review, and thank you for it.
Wendy
Comment from Sally Law
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story and the two ways to live. I choose to be others-centered too. It's much more eternal.
Sending you my best today as always and blessings for your day.
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2023
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Thank you for sharing this beautiful story and the two ways to live. I choose to be others-centered too. It's much more eternal.
Sending you my best today as always and blessings for your day.
Sal XOs
Comment Written 12-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2023
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Thank you very much Sally. Lovely review.
Wendy
Comment from CD Richards
Sadly, but inevitably, as I get older I see so many of my friends, family and acquaintances shuffling off. I have to say very few of them really seem intimidated by their own mortality or afraid of death. Many of them are also either not religious, or not actively so, so I don't think that plays as big a part as some imagine it does in dealing with our end of life.
Concerning the approach of elderly people to living, rather than their demise, I could not agree more. Some regard it as a license to become grumpy. I even joke about that from time to time myself, even though I like to think (hope) I have mellowed a bit with the passage of time. Others age with dignity and grace, making it a pleasure to know them, as with Barbara in your story. They give us all hope.
A well-written account as always, and full of wisdom. It made me think of the wonderful speech by George Saunders at Syracuse University, and his closing remarks:
"And someday, in 80 years, when you're 100, and I'm 134, and we're both so kind and loving we're nearly unbearable, drop me a line, let me know how your life has been. I hope you will say: It has been so wonderful."
Excellent job, Wendy.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2023
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Sadly, but inevitably, as I get older I see so many of my friends, family and acquaintances shuffling off. I have to say very few of them really seem intimidated by their own mortality or afraid of death. Many of them are also either not religious, or not actively so, so I don't think that plays as big a part as some imagine it does in dealing with our end of life.
Concerning the approach of elderly people to living, rather than their demise, I could not agree more. Some regard it as a license to become grumpy. I even joke about that from time to time myself, even though I like to think (hope) I have mellowed a bit with the passage of time. Others age with dignity and grace, making it a pleasure to know them, as with Barbara in your story. They give us all hope.
A well-written account as always, and full of wisdom. It made me think of the wonderful speech by George Saunders at Syracuse University, and his closing remarks:
"And someday, in 80 years, when you're 100, and I'm 134, and we're both so kind and loving we're nearly unbearable, drop me a line, let me know how your life has been. I hope you will say: It has been so wonderful."
Excellent job, Wendy.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2023
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I think by that age they lose their "social filters" unfortunately. What an interesting and thoughtful remark in the speech by George Saunders. I like it. Many thanks for another thoughtful review.
Wendy
Comment from Lauren Scott
Your story was nicely crafted providing parallel comparisons of different characters. It was interesting to read, I did not want to stop reading more about those 'totally divergent paths'. The story was also thought-provoking and motivational to be kind to others. I liked how you said "Freedom to hurt others? No, I only want freedom to love others."
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2023
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Your story was nicely crafted providing parallel comparisons of different characters. It was interesting to read, I did not want to stop reading more about those 'totally divergent paths'. The story was also thought-provoking and motivational to be kind to others. I liked how you said "Freedom to hurt others? No, I only want freedom to love others."
Comment Written 11-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2023
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Thank you very much Lauren. Your thoughtful and kind review and high rating with six stars is very encouraging and means a great deal. Much appreciated.
Wendy
Comment from LJbutterfly
I have read that cranky, self absorbed, and dissatisfied personalities attract more debilitating disorders. People with a spirit and attitude like Barbara may suffer with illness, but since they're not angry and hateful, they don't live in more severe agony. This story and comparison should inspire us all to cultivate a grateful and loving heart.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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I have read that cranky, self absorbed, and dissatisfied personalities attract more debilitating disorders. People with a spirit and attitude like Barbara may suffer with illness, but since they're not angry and hateful, they don't live in more severe agony. This story and comparison should inspire us all to cultivate a grateful and loving heart.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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Thank you for a lovely review, with your insightful words. Losing one's social filter is a worry, as I think sometimes people aren't even aware of how hurtful they are. Barbara is a rolle model of how to live well in old age.
Wendy
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
I found the differing points of view interesting - I have always believed that we make our own happiness or misery based on our own personal attitudes.
Do you know these women personally? Have you come across them when you take Sunny to the nursing homes?
As long as we are capable of thinking and reasoning, we have some control over our lives. We should all be more like Barbara and less like Alice.
An interesting write.
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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I found the differing points of view interesting - I have always believed that we make our own happiness or misery based on our own personal attitudes.
Do you know these women personally? Have you come across them when you take Sunny to the nursing homes?
As long as we are capable of thinking and reasoning, we have some control over our lives. We should all be more like Barbara and less like Alice.
An interesting write.
xo
Pam
Comment Written 11-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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I know them both personally, yes. I agree - we can choose our direction, our words and attitudes, and they do quickly become habits. Old people sometimes lose their "social filters", which is a shame, as they probably don't even realise how hurtful they are.
Many thanks for your thoughtful review. Always valued.
Wendy
Comment from Paul McFarland
Ninety percent of my six stars is going to you, Wendy. You have the talent to write professionally. This piece should be read by the middle aged. This is a great primer for old age.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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Ninety percent of my six stars is going to you, Wendy. You have the talent to write professionally. This piece should be read by the middle aged. This is a great primer for old age.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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Thank you for your six stars. And I highly value them each time, never taking them for granted. (Just between you and me, I am hoping to publish my Aussie heroes series soon. My school and teaching stories are in the process.)
If you notice me becoming crotchety and negative, remind me of this piece, please. (Alice is my mother, and I fear becoming that way, with no social filter. Older people often seem to lose it.)
Wendy