Do You Believe In Monsters?
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "The Storms That Haunt Me "Living with a madman.
27 total reviews
Comment from Sanku
This was very unsettling read.i can understand why church would not help in the beginning . Appearance should be kept...at all cost. people like him should be put in jail or killed .I was shocked when I read that if he killed her she would go to heaven!!!
Quite brave of you .It should be made public.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2023
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This was very unsettling read.i can understand why church would not help in the beginning . Appearance should be kept...at all cost. people like him should be put in jail or killed .I was shocked when I read that if he killed her she would go to heaven!!!
Quite brave of you .It should be made public.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2023
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Thank you. I am kicking around the idea of writing a book about growing up in that house.
Comment from mermaids
Your writing is vivid, real and speaks to the reader. I applaud you for writing about this monster,keep writing about him. You give a voice to many who go through this experience which is all too common. Best wishes for the contest.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023
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Your writing is vivid, real and speaks to the reader. I applaud you for writing about this monster,keep writing about him. You give a voice to many who go through this experience which is all too common. Best wishes for the contest.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023
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Thank you. I appreciate your kind words.
Comment from Dawn Munro
I almost put off reviewing this because I have no sixes left this week and wow! This is so deserving of an outstanding rating. This is powerful and compelling writing.
But then I thought, he probably won't care, much as I don't care when I know something I've written is my best... I would be very surprised if this doesn't win the contest. That said, however, I am going to nitpick-- your final paragraph has two minor difficulties, IMHO:
"It was always such a relief when the storms passed and calmness returned to the house that was never a home. That is(,) until the next storm started to brew." First -- no comma is needed after "that is". Next (and this one is a little more difficult to spot) "...to the house that was never a home" followed by "That is, until the next storm started to brew." << That is basically saying the house became a home when the next storm began to brew. You'll want to re-word that bit, I think. I wouldn't dream of suggesting anything -- you will know what to write. Of that, I have no doubt.
Virtual six, in the absence of real ones!**************************!!!
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023
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I almost put off reviewing this because I have no sixes left this week and wow! This is so deserving of an outstanding rating. This is powerful and compelling writing.
But then I thought, he probably won't care, much as I don't care when I know something I've written is my best... I would be very surprised if this doesn't win the contest. That said, however, I am going to nitpick-- your final paragraph has two minor difficulties, IMHO:
"It was always such a relief when the storms passed and calmness returned to the house that was never a home. That is(,) until the next storm started to brew." First -- no comma is needed after "that is". Next (and this one is a little more difficult to spot) "...to the house that was never a home" followed by "That is, until the next storm started to brew." << That is basically saying the house became a home when the next storm began to brew. You'll want to re-word that bit, I think. I wouldn't dream of suggesting anything -- you will know what to write. Of that, I have no doubt.
Virtual six, in the absence of real ones!**************************!!!
Comment Written 13-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023
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No, I do not mind at all. It is always about the writing for me and the responses really tell if you have made a successful piece. Obviously this one is different. It was . . .painful to write, but I think that the hidden should be revealed. Ugly truths fester in the dark. I am really considering writing a book about this. There were so many incidents. Too many. Besides, better than the six, you gave me the hard to achieve 25th review. Appreciate you!
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I'm sorry -- very sorry. Sometimes life just sucks. I agree, though -- ugly truths fester in the dark. I have many of my own (from which I am still recovering at seventy-one years old). Many years of lost memories too. I pray your remaining days will be filled with joy.
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p.s. Write that book! I have written an autobiography (of sorts) and it has helped.
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Thank you! You are a sweetheart!!!
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:)
Comment from Annmuma
Just reading your post left me with 'empathetic' PTSD symptoms. Although I cannot truly imagine your fears and the horrors you and your mom suffered, the writing is so well-done that I can stand on the sidelines and see what is happening. I am so sorry you and all of your family endured such evil. The saying 'that which does not kill us, makes us stronger' seems appropriate when I read your words. You not only survived, you managed to create a very successful life. If this story does not win the contest, I will be very surprised. ann
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023
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Just reading your post left me with 'empathetic' PTSD symptoms. Although I cannot truly imagine your fears and the horrors you and your mom suffered, the writing is so well-done that I can stand on the sidelines and see what is happening. I am so sorry you and all of your family endured such evil. The saying 'that which does not kill us, makes us stronger' seems appropriate when I read your words. You not only survived, you managed to create a very successful life. If this story does not win the contest, I will be very surprised. ann
Comment Written 13-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023
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Oh my goodness! You really hit me up with the sixes this week. Thank you so much. All four of us children turned out well, and that thanks goes to my mother and the strength she eventually found. Not to mention her faith in God, not the church, remained.
Comment from Paul Manton
Wow, Douglas - I can only say how sorry I am that your church let you down so badly. If I'd been the Pastor I would have made it a personal quest to see him locked up asap!
That such men can get away with this stuff - and that there are so many of them - is an offense to God. You were a very brave little boy - and perhaps it's surprising that either of you survived this obvious psychopath.
The piece is an outstanding description not only of the events, but of your own intense feelings. Got a six written all over it. Good job.
Paul
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023
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Wow, Douglas - I can only say how sorry I am that your church let you down so badly. If I'd been the Pastor I would have made it a personal quest to see him locked up asap!
That such men can get away with this stuff - and that there are so many of them - is an offense to God. You were a very brave little boy - and perhaps it's surprising that either of you survived this obvious psychopath.
The piece is an outstanding description not only of the events, but of your own intense feelings. Got a six written all over it. Good job.
Paul
Comment Written 13-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023
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Churches are full of men and mankind is flawed. Trust me it took me years to get to that understanding. Thank you for the great rating my friend. An Offense to God. (Hey, If I find the emotional fortitude to write a book about this, can I use that as the title?) Thank you!
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Welcome, Douglas.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
I don't even know what to say. I almost stopped reading this several times - it's hard to read. But I kept going because you had to actually live it, and if you want (need) to share it with others, then the least we can do is honor what you went through by reading your words.
I hate that no one was interested in helping your family, but I'm not surprised. I went through something similar (but was removed from the home at age 8), and I get that women were usually blamed for a man's poor behavior. My mother was called a bitch and a whore by neighbors after she took a beating from the boyfriend of the month.
I'm glad you did not "end him". As horrible as these memories make you feel, I believe you would feel worse if you had. There can't be any pleasure any taking a life - even a monster's.
The personal stuff aside, you've done a very good job of telling us this "storm story". Your writing helped me to move through painful words.
I wish you the best of luck in the contest and with the painful memories. I hope you can find a way to put them to rest.
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023
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I don't even know what to say. I almost stopped reading this several times - it's hard to read. But I kept going because you had to actually live it, and if you want (need) to share it with others, then the least we can do is honor what you went through by reading your words.
I hate that no one was interested in helping your family, but I'm not surprised. I went through something similar (but was removed from the home at age 8), and I get that women were usually blamed for a man's poor behavior. My mother was called a bitch and a whore by neighbors after she took a beating from the boyfriend of the month.
I'm glad you did not "end him". As horrible as these memories make you feel, I believe you would feel worse if you had. There can't be any pleasure any taking a life - even a monster's.
The personal stuff aside, you've done a very good job of telling us this "storm story". Your writing helped me to move through painful words.
I wish you the best of luck in the contest and with the painful memories. I hope you can find a way to put them to rest.
xo
Pam
Comment Written 13-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023
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Thank you, Pam. This was more to me than a contest, once I really started getting into it. It was just a platform to launch my ugly little story. I'm not sure why I needed the excuse. But I don't think I would have written it without one. Weird???
Comment from karenina
There are no storms greater than those inside the home...and we rarely ever recover fully. I'm so proud of you for writing this... As you indicated in the story children were taught to lie. It was not to be spoken of. As if the shame were your mother's and not his. We look back as adults and overlay what we think we should have done--but in truth you were a frightened, confused child who did everything you could with the skills you had at the time! I hear you. An unlaced boot can be a trigger worse than any on a gun. Keep purging your feelings through your spectacular writing. You have no concept how big a "club" you belong to. Blessed are the survivors who live to tell the tale!
Karenina
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023
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There are no storms greater than those inside the home...and we rarely ever recover fully. I'm so proud of you for writing this... As you indicated in the story children were taught to lie. It was not to be spoken of. As if the shame were your mother's and not his. We look back as adults and overlay what we think we should have done--but in truth you were a frightened, confused child who did everything you could with the skills you had at the time! I hear you. An unlaced boot can be a trigger worse than any on a gun. Keep purging your feelings through your spectacular writing. You have no concept how big a "club" you belong to. Blessed are the survivors who live to tell the tale!
Karenina
Comment Written 13-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023
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Thank you, my friend. I am truly surprised that we all survived. I am wondering if I shouldn't try writing a short book about this. There were so many incidents like this one. I appreciate your awesome rating.
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I think there was that vacuum in time in pre-1970s when children were not considered victims, their trauma was not considered, and therefore so many of us never had a place to process this. For that reason, primarily, I think a book would be beneficial!
Comment from lyenochka
You described the fear and the horror perfectly and I felt the helplessness and the rage. So good that you could put an end with that one brave cry. It's so sad when the church refuses to take a stand because they want to protect their leaders. I'm glad that you went into law enforcement and helped other families in this situation. Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023
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You described the fear and the horror perfectly and I felt the helplessness and the rage. So good that you could put an end with that one brave cry. It's so sad when the church refuses to take a stand because they want to protect their leaders. I'm glad that you went into law enforcement and helped other families in this situation. Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 13-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023
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Thank you, my friend. My mother became a very strong woman who influenced us four kids greatly. Thanks to her, none of us went to the dark side and all turned out good.
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That's good to hear. Thanks for sharing. Great writing!
Comment from Terry Broxson
Douglas, a very well written story! Certainly deserves a six, the bad news is I don't have any. The good news is I gave you my last one for another story. One thought, your author's note provides another story. Think about it. Excellent, Terry.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023
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Douglas, a very well written story! Certainly deserves a six, the bad news is I don't have any. The good news is I gave you my last one for another story. One thought, your author's note provides another story. Think about it. Excellent, Terry.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023
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Thank you, Terry. Yes, I think there are several stories here. Perhaps I should write a small book about the Dean Paul experience.
D
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
I can't say it is a wonderful story because it is terrifying. Your distrust of religion is logical. Your disgust with your father is logical. And no one should have had to endure what you family endured from a monster.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023
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I can't say it is a wonderful story because it is terrifying. Your distrust of religion is logical. Your disgust with your father is logical. And no one should have had to endure what you family endured from a monster.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023
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Thanks, Carol. It was a tough childhood.
