Rainbows
An awe-inspiring wonder2 total reviews
Comment from JSD
A simple and straightforward description of rainbows, focusing particularly on the links to God, rather than leprechauns and gold! Your language is full of light and colour, as one would hope. Well done and good luck.
  |
A simple and straightforward description of rainbows, focusing particularly on the links to God, rather than leprechauns and gold! Your language is full of light and colour, as one would hope. Well done and good luck.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2023
Comment from Eleri
This is a lovely rhyming poem that describes rainbows well. However, there are a couple of things that I think need changing. It should be 'in a wondrous spectrum' not spectrums in line three and you mention about a rainbow being related to hope, peace and love in two of your stanzas - I would have tried not to repeat this idea no matter how strong it seems. Finally in the last but one line 'rainbows' is plural so it does not require an apostrophe. Having said the above, this is a good poem so good luck in the contest
Eleri
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2023
|
This is a lovely rhyming poem that describes rainbows well. However, there are a couple of things that I think need changing. It should be 'in a wondrous spectrum' not spectrums in line three and you mention about a rainbow being related to hope, peace and love in two of your stanzas - I would have tried not to repeat this idea no matter how strong it seems. Finally in the last but one line 'rainbows' is plural so it does not require an apostrophe. Having said the above, this is a good poem so good luck in the contest
Eleri
Comment Written 03-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2023
-
Eleri,
Thank you for your helpful review. I noted your comments and revised the repetition in stanzas 2 & 3 and changed line 4 in stanza 3 to "Its heavenly grace stirring our gaze."
All the best,
Eugene