Love in Depths
Finding your twin flame, loving in abundance.10 total reviews
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
You use lots of very fine words, however, you do not connect them so that you have sentences.
For instance: you write, "Intricate sparks fly abundantly interrupted within moments thoughts of you.
Try: Within moments of thinking about you sparks begin to fly about in an abundant and uninterrupted
cascade. See the difference? We need to have connecting words join with others in order to make a sentence. Otherwise, it is just a list of words.
Hope I helped and explained things well.
Karen
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2023
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You use lots of very fine words, however, you do not connect them so that you have sentences.
For instance: you write, "Intricate sparks fly abundantly interrupted within moments thoughts of you.
Try: Within moments of thinking about you sparks begin to fly about in an abundant and uninterrupted
cascade. See the difference? We need to have connecting words join with others in order to make a sentence. Otherwise, it is just a list of words.
Hope I helped and explained things well.
Karen
Comment Written 03-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2023
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I do see what you?re saying. It is just the style I chose so that the words say the sentence instead of full sentences being written out. It?s just an artistic form. You did help explain and I thank you for reviewing me. I hope you have a good Labor Day!
TinaLeAnn Bice
Happi
Comment from Sanku
Apparently about someone whom you love deeply (deeper deeper deeper ,repeated three time. A flow of words like babbling brook assiduously flowing into greater depth...cleverly crafted
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2023
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Apparently about someone whom you love deeply (deeper deeper deeper ,repeated three time. A flow of words like babbling brook assiduously flowing into greater depth...cleverly crafted
Comment Written 03-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2023
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Thank you so much for reviewing my work and I?m glad you liked it! Happi
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Happi
This free verse is a bit philosophical about how hard it is to get together and find and keep your soul mate. But the search and work are worth it in the end.
I think it almost sounds like a prose poem or maybe a poetry slam poem.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Have a great day.
Joan
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2023
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Hi Happi
This free verse is a bit philosophical about how hard it is to get together and find and keep your soul mate. But the search and work are worth it in the end.
I think it almost sounds like a prose poem or maybe a poetry slam poem.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Have a great day.
Joan
Comment Written 03-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2023
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Thank you Joan. It is about my one true love and he is amazing. I appreciate your review and you have a great day! Happi
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You are most kindly welcome, Happi.
I am am glad to hear it is autobiographical.
Joan
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Wishing you a wonderful Holiday!
Happi
TinaLeAnn Bice
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Same to you, TinaLeann.
Joan
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A passionate and deeply devoted write to someone who means a lot to you and I enjoyed your intense words and loyalty here, perhaps this should have been entered into the love contest, much enjoyed, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2023
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A passionate and deeply devoted write to someone who means a lot to you and I enjoyed your intense words and loyalty here, perhaps this should have been entered into the love contest, much enjoyed, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 03-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2023
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Thank you so much Dolly and yes it?s about the love of my life! I appreciate your review and happy you liked it! Happi
Comment from HarryT
Wonderful use of words describing an intimate relationship. At first, I did not like the structure but as I read a few more times, I felt it works well because I flowed from one line to the next. The work makes one think and draws on emotion. Excellent comment on love.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2023
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Wonderful use of words describing an intimate relationship. At first, I did not like the structure but as I read a few more times, I felt it works well because I flowed from one line to the next. The work makes one think and draws on emotion. Excellent comment on love.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2023
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Thank you so much. It is about my relationship now and I know he?s my twin flame. So I was inspired. What a lovely review and I?m glad it worked for you after reading a couple times. Happi
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You are welcome.
Comment from Eleri
This is a strong free verse poem with a passionate touch to it. However, I really don't like your long sentences with little or no punctuation in them. They usually start off brilliantly and then appear to become a list of interconnected words. I am sure that other readers will enjoy your poem but I was really put off by its form. I am, nevertheless, giving you five stars for it for the beautiful images you invoke.
Eleri
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2023
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This is a strong free verse poem with a passionate touch to it. However, I really don't like your long sentences with little or no punctuation in them. They usually start off brilliantly and then appear to become a list of interconnected words. I am sure that other readers will enjoy your poem but I was really put off by its form. I am, nevertheless, giving you five stars for it for the beautiful images you invoke.
Eleri
Comment Written 02-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2023
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Thank you Eleri and thank you for your opinion. I appreciate all reviews and understand the style may not be for everyone. Have a wonderful weekend! Happi
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
Twin flames is a phrase I've used for my husband and me too. This is written very well with descriptive language and imagery.
Best wishes!
Alexandra
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2023
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Twin flames is a phrase I've used for my husband and me too. This is written very well with descriptive language and imagery.
Best wishes!
Alexandra
Comment Written 02-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2023
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Thank you so much Alexandra. I appreciate your review and so glad you liked it. My fiancé and I know we are twin flames. We mirror each other. We?ve even shared the same dream at night. Glad you understood! Happi
Comment from prettybluebirds
I love the artwork you chose for this writing. It couldn't be any more perfect. This poem speaks to one of the whirlwinds in a romantic venture. It is well executed, and I enjoyed reading your work.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2023
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I love the artwork you chose for this writing. It couldn't be any more perfect. This poem speaks to one of the whirlwinds in a romantic venture. It is well executed, and I enjoyed reading your work.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2023
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Thank you for an awesome review. I appreciate it so much. Have a wonderful Labor Day Holiday! Happi
Comment from RainbewLatte
Goodness! There's so much to say about this poem. Every line had so much offer. Proves why you're perhaps published. Every line just hit so right and satisfactory.
Such elegant use of words.
It paints such a vivid picture.
Thanks for taking the time to share.
I've enjoyed this one deeply.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2023
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Goodness! There's so much to say about this poem. Every line had so much offer. Proves why you're perhaps published. Every line just hit so right and satisfactory.
Such elegant use of words.
It paints such a vivid picture.
Thanks for taking the time to share.
I've enjoyed this one deeply.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2023
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Thank you for the amazing review. I appreciate your time and your kind words immensely! Happi
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Thank you for taking time to review my work. I appreciate all the kind words. So so happy you enjoyed it. Have a great Holiday weekend! Happi
Comment from royowen
A nicely written free verse, with highly descriptive language that sings with the passion of a poet, as only those with the mind and talent to mould and weld words, well done, good job, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2023
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A nicely written free verse, with highly descriptive language that sings with the passion of a poet, as only those with the mind and talent to mould and weld words, well done, good job, blessings Roy
Comment Written 02-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2023
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Thank you Roy! I appreciate this so much. Have a fantastic Labor Day Weekend! ❤️
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You too
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Thank you so much! I appreciate it immensely! Happi
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Bless you
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Keep in touch.
