What a Hundred'll Do
A Quarter That Wouldn't Stay on Julie's Brow36 total reviews
Comment from Aiona
Whoa..... I read that whole thing and then felt forced to do math. I must be getting dementia, because I couldn't figure out what Autry owed Bus. And I tried. Was it a fantasy? Or was it real? And where can I find this book of short stories! I didn't see any typos.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2023
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Whoa..... I read that whole thing and then felt forced to do math. I must be getting dementia, because I couldn't figure out what Autry owed Bus. And I tried. Was it a fantasy? Or was it real? And where can I find this book of short stories! I didn't see any typos.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2023
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Do you mean the $75? According to Autry's reasoning, if he takes back the pellet gun (to be able to sell again) that Bus paid $100 for, then he would, in fairness, have to give Bus his $100 back, less the $25 for the model ship (which Bus wouldn't accept as a gift because it was based on accepting Autry's friendship): ... or $75.
I hope that explains it.
Jay
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Gosh that was so simple, when you explained it. I really must be getting dementia.
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I'll be honest with you... I had to go back into the story and find out what words I had put into the character's mouth. There was a lot of inuendo going on.
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Hi, Jay! You inspired me. After this review, I ended up publishing my own book of short stories. Thanks for being a role model!
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You go, girl!
Comment from Allezw2
Just the sort of read to give one pause.
It helps to note a few points of reference, then contemplate relationships.
Eating fries and idly noting a small fragment left over from the slicer, a rounded scrap and always overcooked; from moist center to what she called, "... a crispy." And always, she stole them from my serving. So in a way, she is still here.
A pattern of shadows from a tree on the ground and the tearing sound of the Jacaranda debris on the street as your bicycle tires roll over the sticky blossoms, reminding anew of another time, too. All of these connections, the inter-relations between otherwise disparate entities can be entertainment and a wry acknowledgement of so much you don't know the why of even as you ken the effects. Why? Well, maybe because, if you only knew.
Well, remembering a writer's group where we'd flip a coin to see who started. Then it was story time, in rotation, a sentence at a time each, with the wildest iteration the winner.
Well, it's late. Perhaps another strange visitation of one long gone, or an impossible situation threatening your ability to cope, and anon, the piss call that had interrupted your rest. Or lit that flight of awareness?
Fantasist
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2023
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Just the sort of read to give one pause.
It helps to note a few points of reference, then contemplate relationships.
Eating fries and idly noting a small fragment left over from the slicer, a rounded scrap and always overcooked; from moist center to what she called, "... a crispy." And always, she stole them from my serving. So in a way, she is still here.
A pattern of shadows from a tree on the ground and the tearing sound of the Jacaranda debris on the street as your bicycle tires roll over the sticky blossoms, reminding anew of another time, too. All of these connections, the inter-relations between otherwise disparate entities can be entertainment and a wry acknowledgement of so much you don't know the why of even as you ken the effects. Why? Well, maybe because, if you only knew.
Well, remembering a writer's group where we'd flip a coin to see who started. Then it was story time, in rotation, a sentence at a time each, with the wildest iteration the winner.
Well, it's late. Perhaps another strange visitation of one long gone, or an impossible situation threatening your ability to cope, and anon, the piss call that had interrupted your rest. Or lit that flight of awareness?
Fantasist
Comment Written 08-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2023
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Never have I had more reason to feel I should review a review. It seems like all you that your psyche was waiting for was a trigger to draw out all those locked away memories -- and this was it. It was a very well-written response to my stimulus, Fantasist, LOL.
Thanks for taking the time.
Jay
Comment from w.j.debi
I'm glad you did not break up this story into small installments. It needed to be read as one piece.
I'm uncertain if it was the style, the mood, or the theme, but it made me think of "Breakfast at Tiffany's".
It is a joy to read such professional writing. Thank you for sharing this with us.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2023
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I'm glad you did not break up this story into small installments. It needed to be read as one piece.
I'm uncertain if it was the style, the mood, or the theme, but it made me think of "Breakfast at Tiffany's".
It is a joy to read such professional writing. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2023
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Thank you, Debi, for reading this. I'm always encouraged to see someone read something of mine for the enjoyment of it -- certainly not for the "funny money", since it already had dropped to 2 cents. I'm indebted.
Jay
Comment from Loren .
Philosophical tongue in cheek. A journey through the mind of someone who seems to be skeptical yet honoring the duplicity of life. Identifying with others and within. Loren
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2023
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Philosophical tongue in cheek. A journey through the mind of someone who seems to be skeptical yet honoring the duplicity of life. Identifying with others and within. Loren
Comment Written 03-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2023
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Thank you, Loren. LOL, I don't know about identifying with others. Tell that to Autry.
Jay
Comment from Mike Grimes
Jay, this is fantastic. I was enthralled from beginning to end. Such mysterious characters and inner dialogue, I was hooked. I rarely write reviews and I'm certainly not fishing for member bucks, I just really wanted to congratulate you on a fine piece of writing. Well done!
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2023
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Jay, this is fantastic. I was enthralled from beginning to end. Such mysterious characters and inner dialogue, I was hooked. I rarely write reviews and I'm certainly not fishing for member bucks, I just really wanted to congratulate you on a fine piece of writing. Well done!
Comment Written 01-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2023
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Mike, the fact that you read this for 2 cents says it all! Thank you, my friend. It's good to know that my writing touches someone.
Jay
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Fortunately I'm able to read long posts even with my ADD. My cat helped me discover a simple pressing of a couple keys on my chromebook which instructs someone to read what I have highlighted. This describes a potent visceral experience: "My left foot creates an obstruction, a not-too-effective dam against which a Styrofoam cup collides, makes a half-rotation, then scuttles and tumbles over my toes,
continuing on. A gum wrapper does its slow-motion aquabatics in the cup's wake. About thirty feet downstream the cup eddies out and then suddenly, centrifugally, veers in towards the curb where it drops with the water down a two-foot open drain. The gum wrapper follows." Strong foreshadowing: "Those were her final words on the subject--the final words spoken by her to me on any subject. I think my final words to her were: "Don't do it, Jul." I love this concept: "No, now damn it, Autry!" I pull back. "You can't just give me what I'm robbing from you." You have outdone yourself on this one. I would have to write an equally long review to do it justice. I will just say A+ quality. That'll be $5 please...lol
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2023
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Fortunately I'm able to read long posts even with my ADD. My cat helped me discover a simple pressing of a couple keys on my chromebook which instructs someone to read what I have highlighted. This describes a potent visceral experience: "My left foot creates an obstruction, a not-too-effective dam against which a Styrofoam cup collides, makes a half-rotation, then scuttles and tumbles over my toes,
continuing on. A gum wrapper does its slow-motion aquabatics in the cup's wake. About thirty feet downstream the cup eddies out and then suddenly, centrifugally, veers in towards the curb where it drops with the water down a two-foot open drain. The gum wrapper follows." Strong foreshadowing: "Those were her final words on the subject--the final words spoken by her to me on any subject. I think my final words to her were: "Don't do it, Jul." I love this concept: "No, now damn it, Autry!" I pull back. "You can't just give me what I'm robbing from you." You have outdone yourself on this one. I would have to write an equally long review to do it justice. I will just say A+ quality. That'll be $5 please...lol
Comment Written 30-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2023
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Hahaha! You are too funny, Liz. That is one perceptive cat you have. Seriously, though, I wish Fanstory included the option that other sites have that allows the selection to be read aloud. A lot of people who would otherwise pass on a long piece might easily endure having it read to them. Much obliged for the six stars, Liz!
Jay
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My cat initiated thr discovery when he would sit on my lap, with his butt on my corner keys. Seemingly, out of nowhere a voice sounded. I wasafraid Iwas goimng tp have to sit onmy keyboard to solve the mystery. I learned more about it on you tube & just lately learned about the magic of voice to print. It does need some proof-reading before posting or sending it. But it saves a lot of time.
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
Dialogue at the pawn shop is good. It's just as the pawn shop owned was being told to look at the main character it didn't seem to me that the main character had a lot going on. You obviously took a lot of time writing this.
I have a master's degree in literacy including reading and writing and I think your message here is being lost by too many unnecessary words. I'm being honest.
Readers will be more engaged if you could narrow on certain themes. The dialogue at the pawn shop was good at first then seemed labored. How many pages is this story?
I wish you the best. I hope to read more I just sincerely encourage you to pull through most important parts out and keep those.
It's a lot of words but I couldn't follow it well and I'm an expert reader. I can help you if you wish I'm an honest person.
Very best wishes!
Alexandra
I tend to agree with the pawn shop owned. If someone is spending time demanding a pawn shop owner, looks at them up and down reading them. That person doesn't have a lot of anything going on
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2023
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Dialogue at the pawn shop is good. It's just as the pawn shop owned was being told to look at the main character it didn't seem to me that the main character had a lot going on. You obviously took a lot of time writing this.
I have a master's degree in literacy including reading and writing and I think your message here is being lost by too many unnecessary words. I'm being honest.
Readers will be more engaged if you could narrow on certain themes. The dialogue at the pawn shop was good at first then seemed labored. How many pages is this story?
I wish you the best. I hope to read more I just sincerely encourage you to pull through most important parts out and keep those.
It's a lot of words but I couldn't follow it well and I'm an expert reader. I can help you if you wish I'm an honest person.
Very best wishes!
Alexandra
I tend to agree with the pawn shop owned. If someone is spending time demanding a pawn shop owner, looks at them up and down reading them. That person doesn't have a lot of anything going on
Comment Written 30-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2023
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Thank you, Alexandra.
Jay
Comment from Douglas Goff
I have actually read this three or four times but have not reviewed it. Mostly because I can not improve upon it. Also I am out of sixes.
But, since we keep coming back to it, let me take the opportunity to say fantastic writing. Damn splendid.
D
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2023
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I have actually read this three or four times but have not reviewed it. Mostly because I can not improve upon it. Also I am out of sixes.
But, since we keep coming back to it, let me take the opportunity to say fantastic writing. Damn splendid.
D
Comment Written 30-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2023
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Douglas, you are damned splendid!
Jay
Comment from Tom Horonzy
I seemingly get confused with your name, thinking you are 98 and always write with a light blue background, but that aside this was a long yet enjoyable read deserving of whatever award you got over and above Author of the Year.
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2023
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I seemingly get confused with your name, thinking you are 98 and always write with a light blue background, but that aside this was a long yet enjoyable read deserving of whatever award you got over and above Author of the Year.
Comment Written 30-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2023
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I feel ninety-eight sometimes, Tom. But I'm the youngin at 84. I believe the other is Jaybird. Thank you though for your kind words.
Jay
Comment from BermyBye50
Jay,
You've crafted an exceptional write by a master writer. I've admired your skillful writing from afar. Your in mastery is evidenced in this creative write and is confirmation of a highly accomplished and talented novelist.
All the best,
Eugene
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2023
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Jay,
You've crafted an exceptional write by a master writer. I've admired your skillful writing from afar. Your in mastery is evidenced in this creative write and is confirmation of a highly accomplished and talented novelist.
All the best,
Eugene
Comment Written 30-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2023
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Thank you so much, Eugene. I'm glad you came from afar to read this and I hope you return next time.
Jay