Comment from Ric Myworld

Excellent

In deep now, I'd probably just head back to Long Street, Loop Street, or maybe Sea Point to forget my problems. And depending on my appearance, possibly Camps Bay. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 23-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 23-Aug-2023

You know your Cape Town good Sir

Comment from GWHARGIS

Excellent

Well, Bruce, you have me hooked. I liked the scene at the outside bar. The cigarette did it for me. People rarely have characters who smoke anymore. It just felt like a real "flaw". We all have a real flaw. That was good. I was a little squeamishish about the broken arms. But my husband rides BMX so I've seen my share of gross injuries. This was very good. Suspense and now we have to get to Fat Man before he gets us. Great job. Sorry but I'm out of sixes. Gretchen

 Comment Written 23-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 23-Aug-2023

Thank you very much, Gretchen. I liked that touch and I deeply appreciate you noticing. Very grateful for your time

Comment from JSD

Excellent

Gripping stuff. I knew there was something fishy about that Turbot chap. But seriously I continue to enjoy your dark and compelling writing. Well done.

John

 Comment Written 23-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 23-Aug-2023

Thank you dearly, John. Great to have you here.

Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)

Excellent

I loved the description of the 'car accident' and the interrogation that followed it. It was right on point and extremely vivid. The bit I was less keen on was the fencing match in the bar. I found it dragged a bit and lacked bite. They could have sparred more aggressively, no? kay

 Comment Written 23-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 23-Aug-2023

I started to wonder recently whether I?m ?overdoing? this - i.e. putting every single dialogue and situation on highest gear. Wanted it to sound casual as to steady a ship a bit before ultimate betrayal and another series of drama and killing. You tell me, Kay. I sometimes feel like I have no idea what I?m doing, despite having everything mapped out and plot basically ready to be written. It?s just that I?m afraid of loosing the realism that - despite all the action - I try my best to maintain

reply by Katherine M. (k-11) on 23-Aug-2023

I'm not an expert in this sort of writing, I just know what I like to read, and I like the punches to come thick and fast. Ric Myworld is extremely skilled at it if you want to dig out an example (Tucker was the latest- but he doesn't post often you'd have to go through his portfolio to get the full story. Of course yes you get more realism if you tone it down a bit... you have to learn to trust your own instincts. I always re- read reviews that seem pertinent after a month or so, then re-read big blocks of the story. You gain a lot of perspective that way. kay

reply by the author on 23-Aug-2023

Thanks a lot for this piece of advice, Key. I'll revisit some of the early reviews and stories this week for sure.

reply by Katherine M. (k-11) on 23-Aug-2023

Don't wastz your time on the ones that are just platitudes, haha

reply by the author on 23-Aug-2023

Okay, revisiting just the stories than, HAHA

reply by Katherine M. (k-11) on 23-Aug-2023

you are so cruel to us, haha

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

Good descriptions and good emotion. This isn't good for our hero though. I can't wait to read more.

"Alright, alright," he laughed, noticing my expression, and accepted one after I reached out my pack to him. (laughed isn't a speech tag, alright." He laughed,')

"Can you not?" He asked and looked at my cigarette, (he asked)

 Comment Written 23-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 23-Aug-2023

Thank you very much. Duly noted, Barbara.