One Man's Calling
Viewing comments for Chapter 38 "One Man's Calling, Ch 38"Following God
14 total reviews
Comment from BethShelby
So it was the Captain himself that was behind all the trouble that had happened to the ship. Ben's words convicted him in to admitting the devil was working through him. Now it seems Ben is in charge.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2023
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So it was the Captain himself that was behind all the trouble that had happened to the ship. Ben's words convicted him in to admitting the devil was working through him. Now it seems Ben is in charge.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2023
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smiley face here
Thank you for your very nice review.
Comment from eliz100
This is another excellent chapter. You have moved the story along nicely. Ben is a great character.I wonder if the lashing was a reflection of Jesus's lashing. I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
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This is another excellent chapter. You have moved the story along nicely. Ben is a great character.I wonder if the lashing was a reflection of Jesus's lashing. I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
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Thank you. (Glad to reviewed it after I made corrections!) smiley face here
Comment from lyenochka
Great job with this chapter, Wayne! I liked the drama, and the men who were so devoted to Ben as a man of God that they took the captain's unjust punishment. Seems like Ben is now in charge since the captain is mentally unstable now.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
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Great job with this chapter, Wayne! I liked the drama, and the men who were so devoted to Ben as a man of God that they took the captain's unjust punishment. Seems like Ben is now in charge since the captain is mentally unstable now.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
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Thank you. A man with a calling has a lot of responsibility.
And thank you for the six stars!
Comment from Ric Myworld
Another fine chapter of Ben's adventures spreading God's good word. Plenty of action in this chapter and if I'm guessing right, things are going to go quite like we might think. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
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Another fine chapter of Ben's adventures spreading God's good word. Plenty of action in this chapter and if I'm guessing right, things are going to go quite like we might think. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
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Thank you. We'll have to wait and see.(smiley face here)
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
There is a lot happening in this chapter. Why does it seem they got past the pirates without being seen and then Ben is awakened because the captain thinks the pirates will get them. And why would the captain be keel-hauled? That's the worst punishment and few survive it.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2023
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There is a lot happening in this chapter. Why does it seem they got past the pirates without being seen and then Ben is awakened because the captain thinks the pirates will get them. And why would the captain be keel-hauled? That's the worst punishment and few survive it.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2023
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They escaped the pirates on the 50-50 guess of east or west. With the ship broken down, the captain is afraid the pirates will capture them and keel-haul him.
Thank you for your review.
Comment from Jay Squires
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Slop's eyes danced across Ben's, skitting as if afraid to land. [Wow! That's a good image!]
"An hour and you'll be tasting steel. [I'm assuming this is still the Captain speaking. If so, you need to drop the closed quote at the preceding paragraph's end. I was going to ask you anyway, why do you have so many pieces of dialogue only a sentence or two long, then open up to a new paragraph with the same person speaking. Only in places where there is an obvious change of subject would you need a new paragraph for the same speaker.]
"My reckoning, is that all you've done is to get us far enough to sea that we can't swim to shore, those of us not horn-swoggled." [This gets very confusing without a speaker tag. I assumed that since it followed Ben's thinking "a moment" that he was the speaker.]
I admire you for all the drama that impacts your plot. The unexpected happens so often and rarely do you make the easy choice in getting Ben out of his precarious situations. Having the Captain choking himself -- that was brilliant!
You go!
Jay
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2023
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fadfadfasdfafdafadfadfa
Slop's eyes danced across Ben's, skitting as if afraid to land. [Wow! That's a good image!]
"An hour and you'll be tasting steel. [I'm assuming this is still the Captain speaking. If so, you need to drop the closed quote at the preceding paragraph's end. I was going to ask you anyway, why do you have so many pieces of dialogue only a sentence or two long, then open up to a new paragraph with the same person speaking. Only in places where there is an obvious change of subject would you need a new paragraph for the same speaker.]
"My reckoning, is that all you've done is to get us far enough to sea that we can't swim to shore, those of us not horn-swoggled." [This gets very confusing without a speaker tag. I assumed that since it followed Ben's thinking "a moment" that he was the speaker.]
I admire you for all the drama that impacts your plot. The unexpected happens so often and rarely do you make the easy choice in getting Ben out of his precarious situations. Having the Captain choking himself -- that was brilliant!
You go!
Jay
Comment Written 19-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2023
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Thank you! I recall typing this and wondering whether I was doing it properly.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
I like the line about the eyes "skitting as if afraid to land."
Why did you put the line that begins "Saved us from a fight, ye did" as a separate paragraph. Isn't Sly still speaking. You did that a couple of times.
"Cap"n's quarters!
"Cap'n's quarters!
Ben certainly has a handle on things, and will save the ship and everyone on it. You write him as a character who is 100% confident in what he's doing for God. And everyone on the ship is growing in faith because of Ben's power through Christ.
I'm not quite sure what has happened to the captain, but I wonder if he will be a different man when he comes out of this spell he seems to have fallen into.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2023
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I like the line about the eyes "skitting as if afraid to land."
Why did you put the line that begins "Saved us from a fight, ye did" as a separate paragraph. Isn't Sly still speaking. You did that a couple of times.
"Cap"n's quarters!
"Cap'n's quarters!
Ben certainly has a handle on things, and will save the ship and everyone on it. You write him as a character who is 100% confident in what he's doing for God. And everyone on the ship is growing in faith because of Ben's power through Christ.
I'm not quite sure what has happened to the captain, but I wonder if he will be a different man when he comes out of this spell he seems to have fallen into.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2023
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Thank you immensely. I'll go look at what you've pointed out.
I see Ben as a King David who could take on Goliath because he'd exercised his faith on smaller things first.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
That night-long stint in the crows nest didn't seem to exhaust Ben as I would have expected, judging from the way he scampered down (great piece of description). There was a lot of fine action in this chapter, from how all the crew supported Ben, to how he got the captain to realise his own failings. Well done, kay
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2023
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That night-long stint in the crows nest didn't seem to exhaust Ben as I would have expected, judging from the way he scampered down (great piece of description). There was a lot of fine action in this chapter, from how all the crew supported Ben, to how he got the captain to realise his own failings. Well done, kay
Comment Written 19-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2023
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Thank you.
Yes, I should account for exhaustion for credibility sake. Thank you.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Wow, Ben is amazing and the trust he gain from the crew reminds me of Jesus when he got his first apostles from the fisherman rang. ""I'll have two of those," Hans said, pulling off his shirt. To a man, the entire crew began removing shirts, prepared to take Ben's whipping." Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2023
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Wow, Ben is amazing and the trust he gain from the crew reminds me of Jesus when he got his first apostles from the fisherman rang. ""I'll have two of those," Hans said, pulling off his shirt. To a man, the entire crew began removing shirts, prepared to take Ben's whipping." Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2023
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Thank you very much!
Comment from Jim Wile
Great chapter with lots of action, as Ben realizes the captain has his own demons that are plaguing him and the safety of the ship as well. Ben makes him see this, and the guilt is killing him as Ben essentially takes command of the ship in an effort to confront the owner.
He has had quite an amazing effect on the crew who is now on his side and even willing to take his punishment for him. This is such a good story about a truly good man and the ability for good to triumph over evil. - Jim
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2023
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Great chapter with lots of action, as Ben realizes the captain has his own demons that are plaguing him and the safety of the ship as well. Ben makes him see this, and the guilt is killing him as Ben essentially takes command of the ship in an effort to confront the owner.
He has had quite an amazing effect on the crew who is now on his side and even willing to take his punishment for him. This is such a good story about a truly good man and the ability for good to triumph over evil. - Jim
Comment Written 19-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2023
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Thank you for your terrific review.
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Wayne, do you think you would have any interest in becoming a reviewer of my current story, Saving Mr. Calvin? I would love to hear your comments about it. I've got about 12 regular followers of it, and I love hearing what they have to say, and I often take their suggestions for improvement. It certainly helps you to become a better writer and improve the story when you see how it is coming across to others.
It is about the origin and future of the game of golf. You also don't need to know anything about or currently have any interest in the sport to understand and appreciate it because we start at the very beginning of it and describe how it came about. Most of my readers are not golfers.
I will be finishing Part 1 in three more postings, so if you think you might be interested, Part 2 would be a great place to jump in. I typically post three times a week. Also, to catch you up, I could easily give you a complete synopsis of Part 1.
Just curious. I'll keep continuing to review your story, regardless.
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Sure, I would.
I think I've read some, not sure. How many posts to Part 1? Are they in your portfolio?
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I think it's up to 24 posts so far, and they are all in the portfolio.
