Comment from jmdg1954

Excellent

I am thoroughly enjoying this match. You have a nice mix of kolf, humor, affection and skills keeping it interesting. Although I'm curious about the ball lent to the two klootzaks.

Nicely written, Jim. I hope to get the next chapter tonight.

John

Oh, by the way...In Italian (dialect I think), strontso... same reference!

 Comment Written 21-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 21-Aug-2023

Thanks so much, John. In an earlier chapter, when Rube made his very first ball, he made it really smooth. When he tried to hit it, it went nowhere and quickly dove down. The kids learned an important lesson that day: smooth balls don't go very far. That is why golf balls have dimples today. It's something about the aerodynamics.

Comment from Ulla

Excellent

Wonderful, chapter, Jim, and so very well played against those morons, if you will excuse my language. I loved it. I used to be a keen golfer with a decent handicap, so I can follow along, no problem. I had totally forgotten about this story. I will fan you so I don't miss out. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 21-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 22-Aug-2023

Thank you so much, Ulla. So glad you found it again.

Comment from w.j.debi

Excellent

You keep the tension going as the two groups play tricks on each other. It seems the 'lords' deserve all they get. Great job on Arie's part to let them choose the prettier ball.
Let's see how this all ends.

 Comment Written 20-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023

At least Arie's team didn't break any rules; they just used their wits to outsmart the other team.

Comment from Wayne Fowler

Excellent

Sneaky, sneaky!
But all's fair considering the mashing of Kilian's ball into the sod.
I hope Fredrik and Gerrit kill those two klootzaks.
Best wishes.

 Comment Written 20-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023

Let's say they'll be taken care of, perhaps not quite to death, though.

reply by Wayne Fowler on 20-Aug-2023

I mean really! Squashing an opponent's ball into the sod!

reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023

Well, you've got a good point there. I'll have to rethink a possible death sentence!

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Whew! What an ordeal this match is! And I'm wondering how many of these dirty tricks any golf opponents you had ever did to you. But the extra smooth ball wasn't possible since all the balls are standard now. Pretty smart of Arie to think of that!

 Comment Written 19-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023

The guys I used to play with were much more civil than these guys! I never had any of these tricks pulled on me.

When I first wrote about the smooth ball way back in chapter 8 or so, I didn't quite know how I would use that knowledge later in the story, but Arie seemed like the perfect character to think about using it here. Clever girl.

Comment from Pam Lonsdale

Excellent

Arie is a very special young lady. If these two had tried to rape me, I think I would stay as far away as possible, but she seemed to want to humiliate them at every turn. I'm sure she will be victorious in her effort.

Look forward to the end of this match and to seeing what happens to these two ruffians afterward.

I'm glad the official is there because they would cheat big-time if he were not.

See you next time.

Pam

 Comment Written 19-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 19-Aug-2023

I've been told that Arie's behavior is unrealistic in light of the fact she was nearly raped by these guys. Perhaps it is, as you have also mentioned it.

I guess, being a guy, I can't fully appreciate the mindset of a woman who went through this, and I have her acting the way I'd like to think I would react--by being determined to humiliate them back and beat them in the end. I think she's a lot braver knowing her protectors are near at hand than she would be were they not.

I hope you enjoy the conclusion of the match, which will come on Monday.

reply by Pam Lonsdale on 19-Aug-2023

If there's a hard edit at the end, you might want to do a little research to see how victims react around their aggressors.

Comment from lancellot

Excellent

This is written very well. A few things I would look over.

notes:

"If you can't beat us through skill, you'll resort to cheating and rudeness to win at any cost. Nobody else acts this way. You are a disgrace to this wonderful game!"

- I would rethink this paragraph. She is talking to the men who tried to rape her. What else would they be?

I don't get the funny ball Arie gave them. If you were going to do that, why not just let him forfeit. What's the difference? Again, they tried to rape you.

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 19-Aug-2023

Perhaps her diatribe is unrealistic in view of the fact that they tried to rape her. The larger point I was trying to make was that these guys are an exception in a game that is very civilized and in which players these days go out of the way to act completely within the rules and will call penalties on themselves when perhaps they were the only one who might have seen the infraction. That's the nature of professional golf anyway (not necessarily the game that we amateurs play), and it's quite a contrast to other sports like football and basketball where players try to get away with things and hope the refs don't notice. That's really all I was trying to say with Arie's little speech. Realistic knowing what those guys tried to do to her? Probably not. Do you have any suggestions on how I might improve it?

Concerning your second point, the kids don't just want to win, they want to beat the other team, and a forfeit wouldn't feel like they really beat them. The other team could then claim they only lost because of some stupid ruling by the official.

Thanks for taking the time to think about these issues the way you do, Lance, and I appreciate your efforts to help me "keep it real."

Comment from Carol Hillebrenner

Excellent

Arie used her head on allowing the two nobles to pick from the two balls. Of course, they chose the best looking. It was great for Rube to find he could win the day with a club other than the smasher. Kilian may be counting his chickens before they hatch.

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 19-Aug-2023

You're right. It's not in the bag yet. We'll see at least one more attempt to change the course of the match before it's over. Coming on Monday.

Comment from Jay Squires

Excellent

An action-filled chapter here, Jim. Emotions escalated to the breaking point.

You said that Arie's little brothers restrained Killian from attacking the ruffians. But I thought they were VERY young boys. I found it hard to believe that they would have even considered taking care of the ruffians later. And you did call him by Arie's father's name. That really left me confused.

Can't wait to see how the match ends.

Jay

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 19-Aug-2023

That is too funny, Jay! Wouldn't it have been great for those little guys to be the ones in this scene, holding Kilian back and threatening to beat up those hooligans? Actually, I meant the older Papin brothers, Fredrik and Gerrit, so I have gone back and clarified that. Thanks for pointing this out (unless you're pulling my leg!)

reply by Jay Squires on 19-Aug-2023

No, I'm not pulling your leg. I had no idea she had older brothers. Were they in the character index?

reply by the author on 19-Aug-2023

No, they aren't her older brothers. They are her father and uncle (oom). I just changed it to say "Fredrik and Gerrit" rather than "the Papin brothers" to make it clear who I meant.

reply by Jay Squires on 19-Aug-2023

Now I understand. It is good to make it clear though.

Comment from royowen

Excellent

I wonder if that disgusting twosome have got something up their sleeve of dirty play to spoil our hero's party, but I know that justice will prevail and their will be a reckoning, even if Aire's .dad and uncle have anything to do with it. Well done Jim, great descriptive episode, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 19-Aug-2023

Thank you, Roy. Not quite done with the dirty tricks yet, but these guys are getting desperate now. The end is near.

reply by royowen on 19-Aug-2023

Yes it seems like they are a bit