Revival
The Fabulous Free Versers Club. Topic- dust38 total reviews
Comment from Verna Cole Mitchell
I enjoyed this excellent poem. Your pictures were made clear by distinct description. I liked your rhyme scheme, also. The words and thoughts together made for a delightful poem.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2023
I enjoyed this excellent poem. Your pictures were made clear by distinct description. I liked your rhyme scheme, also. The words and thoughts together made for a delightful poem.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2023
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Thank you so much, Verna!
Comment from CD Richards
This is most interesting. I don't read a huge amount of free verse (maybe something to do with the fact I'm appalling at it myself), so perhaps what I'm about to say won't make sense, or is acknowledging something that is common place.
This is the first free verse I recall seeing where, although there is no rhyme or fixed meter, the same definite structure is applied to each stanza:
Descriptive phrase
Action phrase
Single verb
Satori-like line
I think it's appealing, and the descriptive images of the tale itself and descriptive images of the piano and player work really well. Thanks for the idea.
Craig
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
This is most interesting. I don't read a huge amount of free verse (maybe something to do with the fact I'm appalling at it myself), so perhaps what I'm about to say won't make sense, or is acknowledging something that is common place.
This is the first free verse I recall seeing where, although there is no rhyme or fixed meter, the same definite structure is applied to each stanza:
Descriptive phrase
Action phrase
Single verb
Satori-like line
I think it's appealing, and the descriptive images of the tale itself and descriptive images of the piano and player work really well. Thanks for the idea.
Craig
Comment Written 20-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
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Thank you so much for your comment, Craig. Prior to joining Fanstory in February, my poetry was predominantly free verse. My use of rhyme was mainly for lyrics, as I have a background in songwriting. Honestly, I attribute any learned skill in metered or rhymed poetry to the guidance provided by gifted poets in this community! Personally, I believe free verse should still employ poetic devices and have some structure to maintain flow. However, I've discovered that not everyone shares this viewpoint! Thank you so much for your always insightful reviews!!
Xo Jessica
Comment from Boogienights
This is very beautiful, I can imagine what it must be like to be passionate about music. I always wanted to play piano or guitar, but could never learn. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
This is very beautiful, I can imagine what it must be like to be passionate about music. I always wanted to play piano or guitar, but could never learn. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
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Thank you so much!! :) I truly appreciate that.
Xo Jessica
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
I very much like what you've done with this. It's a novel approach to the topic and all the better for it.
the picture set is great and the imagery is solid.
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
Hi there,
I very much like what you've done with this. It's a novel approach to the topic and all the better for it.
the picture set is great and the imagery is solid.
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 20-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
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Thank you so much!
Comment from MissMerri
Simply beautiful Jessica! I love everything about this free verse. The images are strong and memorable, lingering long after the reading is complete, and the theme is original and lovely. It is exceptional writing. I enjoyed this so much.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2023
Simply beautiful Jessica! I love everything about this free verse. The images are strong and memorable, lingering long after the reading is complete, and the theme is original and lovely. It is exceptional writing. I enjoyed this so much.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2023
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That means the world to me!! Thank you so much.
Xoxo
Jess
Comment from lyenochka
What a great entry for the club challenge on "dust" and I can relate as I recently just wiped off the dust from my keyboard. I hope to be able to play more often now that it's not in an office.
I loved your dancing sunbeams that started the movement for the pianist to rekindle the love of playing.
Your free verse has more structure than "free" verse because you use an active participle as your third line in each quatrain. Technically, free verse doesn't have regular stanzas like quatrains. But I liked it!
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
What a great entry for the club challenge on "dust" and I can relate as I recently just wiped off the dust from my keyboard. I hope to be able to play more often now that it's not in an office.
I loved your dancing sunbeams that started the movement for the pianist to rekindle the love of playing.
Your free verse has more structure than "free" verse because you use an active participle as your third line in each quatrain. Technically, free verse doesn't have regular stanzas like quatrains. But I liked it!
Comment Written 19-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
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Thank you so much!
Comment from Pearl Edwards
This is a beautiful free verse for the 'dust' challenge Jessica. I felt I was there with her as she ran her fingers across the dust before she sat and
stirred up the dust
and the music within. Loved it.
Cheers
Valda
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
This is a beautiful free verse for the 'dust' challenge Jessica. I felt I was there with her as she ran her fingers across the dust before she sat and
stirred up the dust
and the music within. Loved it.
Cheers
Valda
Comment Written 19-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
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Thank you, Valda, I appreciate that so much!
Comment from Wendy G
What a beautiful response to the club prompt. It's original and very thoughtful, and the addition of the detail in each moment of preparation is perfect. A lovely poem. Thank you for sharing.
Wendy
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
What a beautiful response to the club prompt. It's original and very thoughtful, and the addition of the detail in each moment of preparation is perfect. A lovely poem. Thank you for sharing.
Wendy
Comment Written 19-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
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Thank you so much, Wendy!
Comment from Katie Mae Dead
Hi Jessica,
You certainly have a flair for free-verse! What a fine entry for the club.
I have a degree in music and piano was my major instrument so this poem means a lot to me.
So many wonderful poetic devises you use in this. My favorite is...
Glistening specks float
glowing in beams of sunlight
dancing
to memories of melodies
Nice descriptors with subtle touches of alliteration make this a real gem.
I hope you enter the site sponsored free-verse contest.
Thanks for the trip down memory lane. I haven't played in years as I recently lost a great deal of my vision and can't read the music anymore.
Just ran out of sixes so please accept a virtual one.
Luv,
Katiemaedead
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
Hi Jessica,
You certainly have a flair for free-verse! What a fine entry for the club.
I have a degree in music and piano was my major instrument so this poem means a lot to me.
So many wonderful poetic devises you use in this. My favorite is...
Glistening specks float
glowing in beams of sunlight
dancing
to memories of melodies
Nice descriptors with subtle touches of alliteration make this a real gem.
I hope you enter the site sponsored free-verse contest.
Thanks for the trip down memory lane. I haven't played in years as I recently lost a great deal of my vision and can't read the music anymore.
Just ran out of sixes so please accept a virtual one.
Luv,
Katiemaedead
Comment Written 19-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
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That means so much, thank you Katie!!
Comment from Ulla
Hi Jessica, Oh I liked this free verse poem for the club. Now I don't know the first thing about the form, but I sure enjoy reading it. All best, Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
Hi Jessica, Oh I liked this free verse poem for the club. Now I don't know the first thing about the form, but I sure enjoy reading it. All best, Ulla:)))
Comment Written 19-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
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Thank you so much, Ulla!!