2023 Gypsy's Free Verse
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "We Still Have Tonight".
18 total reviews
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi MariVal,
this emotional state takes me into its journey within the lessons and realisation of the memories that created them.
Your hand tests the water
of your zigzagging river... love that!
The wind sighs and whispers your name along dried drifting leaves... it doesn't get more poetic of alliterative than that. Memories echoing, knowing it would bear no fruit to your need of recovery.
And because I'm a lover and consumer of the bitter-sweet cranberry, I see how you may be tempted to try. I can only assume the venom of such a bittersweet relationship conjures up the brown recluse.
For me the purple dusk brings up the feeling of an afterglow to the last futile try to bring happiness before age becomes... demise.
Your last verse lingers hard and long. The metaphor is as strong as the visual impact you treat your readers with.
Brings in that visual of dying chrysanthemum's as one may be grieving for the past in something and someone that allowed the comfort and familiarity allowing loving peace to be one's pillow.
I read your notes and sit here with a virtual arm upon your shoulder giving comfort to a valued friend within her pain.
But in saying that, I love the poem... I love the pain and torment sliding in and out through clever arrangement, composition and presentation.
With our thoughts we create...
the worth of self.
Warm regards,
James.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2023
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Hi MariVal,
this emotional state takes me into its journey within the lessons and realisation of the memories that created them.
Your hand tests the water
of your zigzagging river... love that!
The wind sighs and whispers your name along dried drifting leaves... it doesn't get more poetic of alliterative than that. Memories echoing, knowing it would bear no fruit to your need of recovery.
And because I'm a lover and consumer of the bitter-sweet cranberry, I see how you may be tempted to try. I can only assume the venom of such a bittersweet relationship conjures up the brown recluse.
For me the purple dusk brings up the feeling of an afterglow to the last futile try to bring happiness before age becomes... demise.
Your last verse lingers hard and long. The metaphor is as strong as the visual impact you treat your readers with.
Brings in that visual of dying chrysanthemum's as one may be grieving for the past in something and someone that allowed the comfort and familiarity allowing loving peace to be one's pillow.
I read your notes and sit here with a virtual arm upon your shoulder giving comfort to a valued friend within her pain.
But in saying that, I love the poem... I love the pain and torment sliding in and out through clever arrangement, composition and presentation.
With our thoughts we create...
the worth of self.
Warm regards,
James.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2023
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Wow. I don't know what to say other than thank you, James. Your review is so detailed and true to the meaning I intended. Thank you for taking the time for your exceptional six stars review. May you and Jade have a wonderful weekend.
Abracitos y besitos, amigo mio.
Marival
"To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world."--Dr Seuss
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No gracias es innecesaria es un placer.
Love the quote!
James.
Comment from jim vecchio
That Rupaul quote is reminiscent of "if you cannot love your brother whom you have seen, how can you love (God) ewhom you have not seen". Before we can love our brother, we must learn to love ourselves. Well, as with all your works, I love the colorful fonts and display of your words and that final line, as much of the romance poetry, made me long for my wife.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2023
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That Rupaul quote is reminiscent of "if you cannot love your brother whom you have seen, how can you love (God) ewhom you have not seen". Before we can love our brother, we must learn to love ourselves. Well, as with all your works, I love the colorful fonts and display of your words and that final line, as much of the romance poetry, made me long for my wife.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2023
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Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words. Have a wonderful weekend.
Gypsy
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All your words are worthy of a great review!
Comment from thoughtgame2
i really enjoyed this piece a lot. It's the first time I've ever seen something like this ever. very unique piece of work. I hope to see more of your work in the future. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2023
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i really enjoyed this piece a lot. It's the first time I've ever seen something like this ever. very unique piece of work. I hope to see more of your work in the future. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2023
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Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words. Have a wonderful weekend.
Gypsy
Comment from dragonpoet
HI MariVal,
I like that the font color matches that or sunset on the river. I think the five stanzas use the metaphor of each sense to tell of the beauty of nature and the pain the speaker is feeling for the loss of the relationshiop.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Have a fantastic weekend.
Joan
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2023
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HI MariVal,
I like that the font color matches that or sunset on the river. I think the five stanzas use the metaphor of each sense to tell of the beauty of nature and the pain the speaker is feeling for the loss of the relationshiop.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Have a fantastic weekend.
Joan
Comment Written 18-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2023
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Thank you, Joan. I appreciate your insightful review. Have a wonderful weekend. (*÷*)
Gypsy
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My pleasure, MariVal.
Joan
Comment from patcelaw
This is a very well written Japanese poetry form. I enjoyed it very much. I hope that you will have a wonderful weekend and that you will continue to write your beautiful Japanese poetry.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2023
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This is a very well written Japanese poetry form. I enjoyed it very much. I hope that you will have a wonderful weekend and that you will continue to write your beautiful Japanese poetry.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2023
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Thank you, Patricia. I appreciate your insightful review. Have a wonderful weekend. (*÷*)
Gypsy
Comment from aryr
This was so sad- your words read of death and dying, Gypsy. The initial picture was of a the sun either setting or rising, with the old flower. The old saying is that there is not death, there is only hope. Blessed Be n Hugs!!!
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2023
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This was so sad- your words read of death and dying, Gypsy. The initial picture was of a the sun either setting or rising, with the old flower. The old saying is that there is not death, there is only hope. Blessed Be n Hugs!!!
Comment Written 18-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2023
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Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words. Blessed be.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
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Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words. Blessed be.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
Comment from barbara.wilkey
You nailed the senses and had a strong emotion attached to all of them. Thank you for sharing this poem with us. It's perfect. I don't have any sixes left. I so wish I did. Sorry.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2023
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You nailed the senses and had a strong emotion attached to all of them. Thank you for sharing this poem with us. It's perfect. I don't have any sixes left. I so wish I did. Sorry.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2023
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Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
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Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
Comment from lyenochka
You always do a great job of invoking all the senses from sights to smells and tastes. I always think of cranberries as unbearably sour but I suppose it could be considered "bittersweet" like the romance here. I really liked:
"my headed-to-fail
hope to find you"
It is much more detailed than just "hopeless".
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2023
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You always do a great job of invoking all the senses from sights to smells and tastes. I always think of cranberries as unbearably sour but I suppose it could be considered "bittersweet" like the romance here. I really liked:
"my headed-to-fail
hope to find you"
It is much more detailed than just "hopeless".
Comment Written 18-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2023
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I googled bitter sweet and cranberries and recluse spiders came up. LoL it's the internet's fault. (*÷*)
Big sister,
Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.
Love xoxo
Marival
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
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I googled bitter sweet and cranberries and recluse spiders came up. LoL it's the internet's fault. (*÷*)
Big sister,
Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.
Love xoxo
Marival
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
Comment from GWHARGIS
I had no idea about the mums and funerals. To me, mums represent fall. The colors speak volumes about the season. This was a poem that shows a downward spiral of love. Melancholic. Gretchen
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2023
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I had no idea about the mums and funerals. To me, mums represent fall. The colors speak volumes about the season. This was a poem that shows a downward spiral of love. Melancholic. Gretchen
Comment Written 18-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2023
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The mums are used at funerals in Spain. Thank you very much Gretchen.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
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The mums are used at funerals in Spain. Thank you very much Gretchen.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
Comment from Lisasview
Yes, it can not love yourself then who will...
I planted loads of mums this year and they were fabulous. Isn't it amazing how we can recall certain smells...
Really enjoyed your poem and the colourful font.
Lisa
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2023
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Yes, it can not love yourself then who will...
I planted loads of mums this year and they were fabulous. Isn't it amazing how we can recall certain smells...
Really enjoyed your poem and the colourful font.
Lisa
Comment Written 18-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2023
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Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
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Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis