Reviews from

2023 Gypsy's Haiku

Viewing comments for Chapter 35 "Dawn's Warm Rays"
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8 total reviews 
Comment from AP Apgar
Excellent
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I like your haiku poem - nice picture presentation- good syllable count- poem connecting well with poem- warm sunlight melting ice - broken ice connecting to break of day - good job AP

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 11-Aug-2023
    Gypsy
    "Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
Comment from Mary Vigasin
Excellent
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This was a stunning haiku, Gypsy both in words and presentation. I love the picture of the sun rising in the morning. Your dawn rays warm my heart.
Best wishes,
Mary

 Comment Written 08-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 09-Aug-2023
    Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.

    Gypsy hugs
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
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We're way past dawn's warm rays. We're onto dawn's extra hot rays that are capable of burning. But that being said, your poem is beautiful and thank you for causing the warm rays and the ice in my mind.

 Comment Written 08-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 09-Aug-2023
    Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.

    Gypsy hugs
Comment from shelley kaye
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

HA! this was great!
dawn's rays
cracking ice
morning broken

excellent haiku!!
thank you for sharing
shelley :)

 Comment Written 08-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 09-Aug-2023
    Thank you very much for your exceptional six stars review and kind words.

    Gypsy hugs
Comment from aryr
Excellent
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This was a great haiku, Gypsy. I loved the picture of the dawn shining over the water. Your words meant the world to me, they were the dawn shining over the ice glazed water of the pond. Blessed Be n Hugs!!! Morning had indeed come.

 Comment Written 08-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 09-Aug-2023
    Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.

    Gypsy hugs
reply by aryr on 09-Aug-2023
    Most welcome, Gypsy.
Comment from Jumbo J
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Hi MariVal,
another cleverly composed haiku in observation and insight.

It's late night and well, rather cold for what I'm used to these days... so dawn's warm rays are sounding just right... shining on the cracking ice on my nose.

But what a magic thought in the actuality of what I know to be true.
Where I'm originally from, my birth place in the central western plains of NSW, this time of the year has the best days... clear blue skies with nothing but blue... stars at night that look like pin-holes in the dark crispy sky, but in the mornings, Jack Frost lingers. I used to have to leave a pot full of water on the stove to be able to have water I could thaw out with heat. A sort of cloudy mist would hangover the skies until mid-morning. Some of that water I left on the stove I needed for my car's windscreen to melt the ice before I could drive to work of a morning.

But when the sun came out from under that mist, it was like another perfect day. Layers of clothes at a time were peeled off. You could almost say there were two different seasons from night to mid-morning... and I'd guess nine o'clock was mid-morning.

So, this is what this poem conjured up in my mind with its lovely description... a memory!
And yes, love the word play with 'morning has broken'... got me to singing.
Morning has broken like the first morning
Blackbird has spoken like the first bird
Praise for the singing, praise for the morning
Praise for them springing fresh from the world...

With our thoughts we create...
a fresh start.

Warm regards,
James.







 Comment Written 08-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 08-Aug-2023
    Hello, James, your beautiful reviews are always such a pleasure to read. You write like a poet, even in reviews. I love your visual descriptions of that paradise of yours.

    Funny that you would mention Cat Steven's song, 'morning has broken'. It brought up good memories. I was 15 years old living in Madrid. I met my first boyfriend that year. He was so good to me. I wonder what our life together would have been, but I don't regret moving to the united states because my children and grandchildren would have never been born.

    Helen told me that before Cat Steven came around, Morning has Broken was a hymn. I do remember singing it in church.

    I am glad you noticed the juxtaposition of morning has broken and the ice has broken too.

    Have a wonderful day, my friend. May Mother Goddess bless you and Jade.

    MariVal
reply by Jumbo J on 09-Aug-2023
    Thank you for such a heartfelt response to my reply.
    I think I remember singing Morning has broken back in the primary school choir. done in the running verses chiming in... hmmmmm?
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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We don't really get ice forming on lakes, except up high in the mountains, (most of landscape has been flattened by time, ours is supposed to be a very old continent, but beautifully written Gypsy, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 07-Aug-2023
    Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.

    Gypsy hugs
reply by royowen on 07-Aug-2023
    Most welcome
Comment from lyenochka
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I like your allusion to the hymn (long before Cat Stevens made it popular) of "Morning has broken" to the "cracking of the ice across the lake" due to dawn' warm rays.

I wasn't sure about "ice-cracking" lake because that makes it sound like the lake is doing the cracking of the ice.
Perhaps you want something like
skate, cracking ice 'cross the lake

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2023


reply by the author on 07-Aug-2023
    I loved singing that hymn in church. I like cat Steven's too.

    Thank you very much for your excellent review, big sister.

    Love xoxo

    Marival