Comment from Wayne Fowler

Excellent

And how does Kilian plan to support Arie? By winning kolf tournaments? (smiley face here)
Have you tried to get this published? I would think sports would be a wide open field.

 Comment Written 19-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 19-Aug-2023

This is still my first draft. I'm currently 3/4 the way through writing Part 2 now, so still a ways to go. I'm thinking of trying to get it published as a golf novel. I've read quite a few of those, and this one is pretty different from the ones I've read, and there may be a market for it. I suppose I can always self-publish on Amazon, but I'd like to try my hand with a publisher.

I don't think I trust literary agents these days to give it a fair shot. 90 % of them seem to be hip young females who probably don't give a rip about golf and wouldn't care to even give it a chance, so I may try going directly to a publisher who has done golf novels in the past and see if I have any luck with that approach.

reply by Wayne Fowler on 19-Aug-2023

I found one who liked my Best Days of Ohmie's Life, but her "hip, young boss" nixed it, contradicting all the nice things the first one said. GRRRRRR

reply by the author on 19-Aug-2023

It's a maddening, frustrating way to get anything published. I sent out about 50 queries for Some Call It Luck and not a nibble yet.

Comment from Jay Squires

Exceptional

This has the "feel" of a wrap up, at least for this part of the novel: the wedding's just around the corner, the probability that Lars will be marrying Lotte, the game promising huge dividends ... and all the conflicts have been resolved. Are you about to shoot forward to 2032?

The Dutch segment is a solid 6!

Jay

 Comment Written 08-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 09-Aug-2023

Oh, not yet. We've got the most exciting part coming up (at least in this golfer's opinion.) The main motivation for these 4, at least when they first started out, was to have some competition on the golf course, so now we will see how they fare in the heat of battle. Still a little ways to go.

Thanks so much for your great review and the 6 stars. I hope you will find it just as worthy by the end of Part 1.

BTW, I will be finishing Pondria today, and I'll let you know what I think.

reply by Jay Squires on 09-Aug-2023

It will be good to know your thoughts on Pondria, Jim. You might be the only one to have finished it! LOL.

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

I'm so glad that Arie's parents are so supportive of Kilian. I was surprised that they invited him to call them by their first names. Is that typical? In other cultures, that's never allowed even for in-laws.
I'm glad that the father gave some wise advice and that Kilian already was prepared for Arie's unique personality!

 Comment Written 08-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 08-Aug-2023

I'm sure you are probably right about using first names. I really have no idea whether that's typical or not. Didn't even think about it, as I've always called my in-laws by their first names. Papa's advice will be put to the test shortly.

reply by lyenochka on 08-Aug-2023

Ah but that's why Kilian loves Arie! I had to smile as one friend's father had the same cautionary advice to both her husbands. She was so mad. But I think the father was just being caring. Lol.

reply by the author on 08-Aug-2023

I agree, as was Fredrik just watching out for his daughter.

Comment from Pam Lonsdale

Excellent

I still find it hard to wrap my head around a marriage at so young an age, but I understand that it was not unusual for this time. Of course, there are still such marriages in parts of the world.

This chapter had a theme which you have slowly developed and now the decision has been made and written about. I like how you thoroughly tell each chapter.

But what's to happen to Rube, I wonder. He is soon to be the odd man out in this group.

Thanks for another good chapter.

Pam

 Comment Written 08-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 08-Aug-2023

Now, you don't think I would just leave Rube to flounder on his own, do you? All will be well--eventually.

When you consider that the average lifespan may have only been around 50 during that time, I guess getting started young and procreating right away seems more reasonable. Today we have the luxury of waiting before starting on that phase of our lives.

Comment from jmdg1954

Excellent

Moving in the right direction... business venture, marriage (though extremely young), parental support, it all seems honky-dory. But will it be that way for long?
Only time will tell and I'll have to be patient.

Well done chapter, Jim. Moving right along in the story.

Cheers...
John

 Comment Written 08-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 08-Aug-2023

There remain several challenges to overcome, but they will be more related to the theme of the story.

I'll give you a little insight about that. For golf to continue into the future as the great game that many feel it is, the good aspects about it need to be preserved, and the bad aspects (which we will see more of in Parts 2 and 3) need to be overcome. Part 4 will be the proposed solution. Thus in Part 1, I am trying to portray some of golf's good aspects, and the coming conflict on the golf course is intended to emphasize this.

reply by jmdg1954 on 08-Aug-2023

Awesome. Thanks. As a guy who has only watched golf periodically, I look forward to what has to be overcome and the games preservation.

I am enjoying the ride.

Comment from Carol Hillebrenner

Excellent

Well, it is happy news, and they have an enterprise that should make them money to live on. I hope Kilian's family is a pleased by the news. This is a happy chapter for all. Your characters are distinct, and the reader should have come to care for their happiness by this time.

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 08-Aug-2023

You have grasped one of the true purposes of Part 1 perfectly, Carol, which is the positive sides of the game that has become so important to many and, for the game to survive into the future, need to be perpetuated. I will focus on some of the problems with the game in Parts 2 and 3, which will need to be overcome for its survival.

Comment from Tom Horonzy

Excellent

If this was mine, with the ending proposed, I think I would have one of the two sets of parents... die
Idk why
It was simply a simple thought to which you will agree doesn't fit.

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 07-Aug-2023

Well, that would have undoubtedly thrown a kink into the monkey wrench. I think I'd better stay the course.

Comment from royowen

Excellent

I think as well as being a fine writer and scribal explainer and exponent of the game of gulf, you've also got a great handle on relational writing too, I always look forward to your fine renditions and style of writing Jim, well done, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 07-Aug-2023

What a wonderful review. Thank you so much, Roy. That mean's a lot to me.

reply by royowen on 07-Aug-2023

Well done

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

So, they're getting married, but Kilian is from another world. I can't wait to see what you have planned for this. I know it will be good. Thank you for sharing this post and the story with us.

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 07-Aug-2023

Thank you, Barbara. It will be about 7 more postings until the end of Part 1 when you will find out.

Comment from Douglas Goff

Excellent

Great story. I liked that the father gave an honest assessment of his daughter. That is rare.

Suggestion:

"Certainly, Fredrik," and we left together. The little brothers started tagging along, but Fredrik told them to stay where they were.
(No speech tag in the dialogue. So :

"Certainly, Fredrik." We left together. The little brothers started tagging along, but Fredrik told them to stay where they were.

Did the Dutch really marry at 14? Interesting.

Nice work.
D

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 07-Aug-2023

Yes, they actually did. During the middle ages, 12 was considered to be the minimum age for girls, once they've reached puberty, and 14 for boys. Sex outside of marriage was severely frowned on, so marriage was the solution for horny teenagers. It didn't always require parental permission either.

Good suggestion on the speech tag. Thanks.