One Man's Calling
Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "One Man's Calling, Ch 32"Following God
11 total reviews
Comment from Ric Myworld
In my humble opinion, stories are about characters, and plots are simply what characters do. And they don't get any better than your character driven stories that I enjoy so much. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2023
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In my humble opinion, stories are about characters, and plots are simply what characters do. And they don't get any better than your character driven stories that I enjoy so much. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2023
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Thank you. And thank you very, very much for the six stars!
Comment from BethShelby
Ben really trusts that the Lord hand of protection is on him and the beating he got hasn't stopped him from preaching. I hope he soon leave Diamond Jim behind.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2023
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Ben really trusts that the Lord hand of protection is on him and the beating he got hasn't stopped him from preaching. I hope he soon leave Diamond Jim behind.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2023
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Smiley face here.
Thank you. Not to disclose any secrets, but he will (leave Diamond Jim behind)
Comment from lyenochka
It's too bad that Angelo missed seeing Ben! But then again, he was could truly say that he didn't know anything. Ben is amazing to keep preaching knowing how much his life is in danger!
Angelo felt [a need? an urge?] to go inside and pay it a visit
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2023
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It's too bad that Angelo missed seeing Ben! But then again, he was could truly say that he didn't know anything. Ben is amazing to keep preaching knowing how much his life is in danger!
Angelo felt [a need? an urge?] to go inside and pay it a visit
Comment Written 04-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2023
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Thank you. Not seeing Ben was my attempt at reality. Everything isn't always neat and tidy. Angelo was divinely timed for Ben's escape, but it didn't carry on to a whimsical nicety of getting to see the results.
I deliberately left out the (I don't know what part of the sentence this would be). I think it's a colloquialism, the way people talk. "I sometime feel to kiss my wife for no particular reason." I guess I could just call it 'style', but you are right. In school it would be graded down.
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That is realistic. God doesn't always reveal how He answers our prayers like Abraham never knew that Lot was spared.
Comment from Wendy G
With his continued public appearances for preaching, and corruption in law enforcement agencies, he's a visible target, and it's only a matter of time. Well written.
Wendy
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2023
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With his continued public appearances for preaching, and corruption in law enforcement agencies, he's a visible target, and it's only a matter of time. Well written.
Wendy
Comment Written 03-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2023
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Yes, his (and God's) intent in this tale.
Thank you for your review and for your support.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
The action in this chapter was solid, and I enjoyed it very much. However, I found the description a bit rushed and superficial. I think this would benefit from a bit more work. kay
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
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The action in this chapter was solid, and I enjoyed it very much. However, I found the description a bit rushed and superficial. I think this would benefit from a bit more work. kay
Comment Written 03-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
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You are right. Another pointed out the same. I worked on it. May more. Thank you.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This was one of your more fully fleshed out chapters. Everything that happens makes sense, including Angelo knowing the noise below him was Ben getting away. Even God's intervention keeps Diamond Jim's men from seeing him. I don't understand why he doesn't leave quickly, but I assume we readers will know why in the next chapter.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
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This was one of your more fully fleshed out chapters. Everything that happens makes sense, including Angelo knowing the noise below him was Ben getting away. Even God's intervention keeps Diamond Jim's men from seeing him. I don't understand why he doesn't leave quickly, but I assume we readers will know why in the next chapter.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
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Thank you for a great review.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Wayne, I think you're right - people can just jump in at chapter 32 and feel compelled to continue reading. I like the characters, little as I know about them, and already have a villain I can root against:-) Good writing too. With the exception of the paragraph I mention below, I found it well-written and well-paced.
The paragraph that begins, "In the basement, it took quite a bit of doing, but . . ." I get it, he escaped while still attached to part of the chair. But the sentence is long and becomes quite confusing. I would only suggest that you could break it up and rewrite it for clarity.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
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Wayne, I think you're right - people can just jump in at chapter 32 and feel compelled to continue reading. I like the characters, little as I know about them, and already have a villain I can root against:-) Good writing too. With the exception of the paragraph I mention below, I found it well-written and well-paced.
The paragraph that begins, "In the basement, it took quite a bit of doing, but . . ." I get it, he escaped while still attached to part of the chair. But the sentence is long and becomes quite confusing. I would only suggest that you could break it up and rewrite it for clarity.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
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Will do. Thank you. And thank you for your kind comments.
Comment from Jay Squires
What a fabulous chapter in terms of getting the plot to move its direction forward. Overall, you had to get Ben out of his jam without making him look like a superhero. That's always the temptation to (as Aristotle warned the writer against) "call in the gods". I ran into a few places I think need a bit more work. Of course, I may be wrong, but it's worth looking into.
Ben stood up and dropped flat onto his back, shattering the chair and raising a distinct knot on the back of his head that he would dearly like to rub. [This needs a "scene change" before it and after it. You might add a few more sentences from Ben's POV before you go back to Angelo and Diamond Jim.]
but even with his arms behind him, part of the frame in the knots and the chair legs themselves still tied to his own legs, Ben managed to crawl out through the coal chute. [I'm sorry, Wayne, but more explanation of the "how" is needed here. Are his arms still tied behind him? Something more than "a veritable clown show, waddling and hopping." is needed to get the reader to accept the "possibility" of his escape. I hope I've made that clear enough.]
My God, Wayne, this story has a character, in Ben, who can be elevated to Archetypal proportion. You should be proud that he came from your creative imagination!
Jay
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
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What a fabulous chapter in terms of getting the plot to move its direction forward. Overall, you had to get Ben out of his jam without making him look like a superhero. That's always the temptation to (as Aristotle warned the writer against) "call in the gods". I ran into a few places I think need a bit more work. Of course, I may be wrong, but it's worth looking into.
Ben stood up and dropped flat onto his back, shattering the chair and raising a distinct knot on the back of his head that he would dearly like to rub. [This needs a "scene change" before it and after it. You might add a few more sentences from Ben's POV before you go back to Angelo and Diamond Jim.]
but even with his arms behind him, part of the frame in the knots and the chair legs themselves still tied to his own legs, Ben managed to crawl out through the coal chute. [I'm sorry, Wayne, but more explanation of the "how" is needed here. Are his arms still tied behind him? Something more than "a veritable clown show, waddling and hopping." is needed to get the reader to accept the "possibility" of his escape. I hope I've made that clear enough.]
My God, Wayne, this story has a character, in Ben, who can be elevated to Archetypal proportion. You should be proud that he came from your creative imagination!
Jay
Comment Written 03-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
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Wow! I can't thank you enough. I had no idea that Aristotle held the same mentality about overly glorifying a character.
Thank you also for pointing out the scenes that need both clarity and credibility. I'll work on them both.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
There is no stopping Ben. He has the power of God on his side and he managed to get free from his bindings and the darkened room to get help and then continue on with his preaching all over the city. Well done, Wayne. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
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There is no stopping Ben. He has the power of God on his side and he managed to get free from his bindings and the darkened room to get help and then continue on with his preaching all over the city. Well done, Wayne. Nancy:)
Comment Written 03-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
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Thank you. I appreciate your kind review.
Comment from JSD
Ooh. The excitement rate is upped here. I continue to enjoy this story. The characters and the convincing dialogue make it all most intriguing. Well done.
John
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reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
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Ooh. The excitement rate is upped here. I continue to enjoy this story. The characters and the convincing dialogue make it all most intriguing. Well done.
John
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023
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Thank you for your great, uplifting support.