Comment from Rachelle Allen

Excellent

Wow, you're absolutely right about that! I never thought of it that way before, but for sure I will from now on! I love this haiku and the picture you selected to make it extra special. Good luck to you in the haiku contest!

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2023

---

reply by the author on 02-Aug-2023

Thank you again, Rachelle! Glad you enjoy. I'm happy to see your review once again! I think in order to be an interesting writer or poet. I need to look at things for a different approach. By looking at flowers as a progression or a army if you will. Just a different way of telling the same story.

I'm super glad you enjoy and may your night be the best!

Comment from JSD

Excellent

Lovely Lea. Love the imagery and the wonderful picture. The metaphor of the first two lines is excellent. The third line is a little more enigmatic. Do they wear their standing sun face, like a game face. Or would it be 'standing, face sun'? Love it regardless. x

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2023

---

reply by the author on 02-Aug-2023

That's really good point. I'm gonna think on the matter.
They do seem like little soldiers holding back the frost. Thank you, I'll glad you like it. I really hope you have the best day, thanks again!

Comment from Lisasview

Excellent

This one works Lea...I love the yellow background and image...
Now that I read your notes and see soldiers, I am wondering if you could have used that word in your Haiku poem or perhaps use it in another poem...
Oh wait I see an error... This is a 5-7-5 poem and your first line only has 4 syllables..
Then the next line has only 6
and the last line has 4
I know that the rules say that a strict syllable count doesn't matter but since this is for a contest I think you might want to go with the 5-7-5
Bright early risers
Braving the last winter frost
Sun faced standing together
or something like that... just by adding a bit the poem stands out...if that makes sense.
Just a thought...
Lisa

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2023

---

reply by the author on 02-Aug-2023

Thank you
A 575 haiku is not a true Haiku and was not one used by the Japanese who invented it. A Haiku consist of 17 syllables in any way you choose to arrange them. They have rejected the five seventy five because of it so I chose the 646 pattern instead.
Thank you for all your advice, Lisa, I do appreciate it. I hope that you will continue and that i am able to help you! Have yourself an awesome day! In all honesty i'm really just an not sure so I Appreciate any advice I can get. Cause i'm greedy like that l o l

Comment from Loretta Bigg

Excellent

I like this because you use unique words to express a feeling which is what a real poem is. However, you do have a spelling/grammar mistake: Early risers BRAVES should be early risers BRAVE. If you meant this on purpose it still won't work because your readers will see it like a mistake.

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2023

---

reply by the author on 02-Aug-2023

Oh, yes, perfect, thank you very much. I appreciate your review and for pointing out. That I will make the change. Thank you again for your kind comments as well and for your time. I appreciate it so much. I hope you have a great night!

Comment from Alexandra Trovato

Excellent

That's a cute idea that they hold back the frost but there is a problem you can fix quickly. The flowers are plural, more than one, so they brave not braves. Best wishes!

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2023

---

reply by the author on 02-Aug-2023

I got it yes, thank you very much. I made the change. Thank you so much for responding that appreciate it. And i'd always appreciate your great reviews. May your evening grand!

Comment from CrystieCookie999

Excellent

I liked reading this short poem. I guess it is a modern haiku. I like the way it complements the bright daffodil photo. I think I would just un-capitalize sun in the last line. Good luck in that contest!

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2023

---

reply by the author on 01-Aug-2023

Thank you, christie, I will thanks for the tip and thank you for your review as I appreciate hearing from you. I hope you have a great evening and it's nice and warm and sunny where you're !t.

reply by CrystieCookie999 on 01-Aug-2023

Thank you. We have had plenty of sunshine. This week we're getting a little bit of a break with more clouds.