Passion For Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Who's Boss"Book 3 of assorted poems
4 total reviews
Comment from JSD
Such a cute picture and lovely little poem. Well done. This is free-flowing, with natural, unforced rhyme and an appropriately child-like rhythm. Great stuff Lea. x
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2023
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Such a cute picture and lovely little poem. Well done. This is free-flowing, with natural, unforced rhyme and an appropriately child-like rhythm. Great stuff Lea. x
Comment Written 02-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2023
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Thank you again, I'm also glad you lik to get this one too. I'd like to try different things just for fun. We can't always be serious a little levity is required in the world we don't have enough of it. Thank you again I appreciate your comments I hope that you enjoy your day!
Comment from Lisasview
Hi Lea,
Hello again, This is the one that I edited for you....I believe you responded that you appreciated my help but I do not see that you made any changes to this poem...
Sweet poem...
My only thought is that your first sentence needs a TO or OF
so it would read I am the oldest TO or OF you younger three, You need a comma here..at the end of line one.
Also, using YOU'RE twice in your second sentence is not the best choice
perhaps you could say You are so lucky to be in my tree. You need a period at the end of line 2.
And, a period at the end of line 3
4th line Bossy the B needs to be capitalised.
Just trying to be helpful Lea... please let me know if you do not want my help and I will stop..
I think the idea for this poem is wonderful just needs little tweaking...
Lisa
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2023
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Hi Lea,
Hello again, This is the one that I edited for you....I believe you responded that you appreciated my help but I do not see that you made any changes to this poem...
Sweet poem...
My only thought is that your first sentence needs a TO or OF
so it would read I am the oldest TO or OF you younger three, You need a comma here..at the end of line one.
Also, using YOU'RE twice in your second sentence is not the best choice
perhaps you could say You are so lucky to be in my tree. You need a period at the end of line 2.
And, a period at the end of line 3
4th line Bossy the B needs to be capitalised.
Just trying to be helpful Lea... please let me know if you do not want my help and I will stop..
I think the idea for this poem is wonderful just needs little tweaking...
Lisa
Comment Written 02-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2023
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I'm quite happy to receive your help. Lisa anything that you have to say is important to me so absolutely keep coming both barrels. I appreciate more than you know as if nobody tells me. How do I know right? I can handle it? Thank you my darling as always. I appreciate your reviews and your comments. Hope you have an amazing evening! Thank you!
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Please send me your edited piece...
It should not take you long to fix it...
Just go into your poem and edit it...and let me know when it is done and I will look at it again...just to be sure..
okay..
L
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Done
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Look at my punctuation suggestions...
And I wrote you are not you're
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Oh and the B needing to be capitalised on Bossy
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Hahaha. Yes, children will LOVE this poem...especially the YOUNGER children in the family, sick to death of always being bossed around. (Um, did I just give away that I'm the baby of the family?...) I wish this poem had been around when I was little; I'd have recited it for my siblings on a daily basis!!!!! Good luck in the children's poetry contest. xo
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2023
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Hahaha. Yes, children will LOVE this poem...especially the YOUNGER children in the family, sick to death of always being bossed around. (Um, did I just give away that I'm the baby of the family?...) I wish this poem had been around when I was little; I'd have recited it for my siblings on a daily basis!!!!! Good luck in the children's poetry contest. xo
Comment Written 01-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2023
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Thank you, Rachel, I appreciate you reading and for your kind comments! I'm glad that you think the kids will like it too! Feel free to look at anything I've written. If you choose, I have a book going called ghost, it has a few chapters in there. I think like.
Chapter's farther ahead from a later timelime. They are called becoming and becoming more.
No need to review, you felt like reading. It might give you A unique perspective into a very interesting subject. I've never written a thing until a few months back...
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Whoa, seriously? With your talent, I imagined you'd been a writer your entire life. That's genuine, not flattery.
I'll gladly read that, and I'll also gladly review it. I don't review for the member dollars; I do it because if someone has taken the time (and, in your case, the talent) to write and I read it, I feel like the least I can do is take the time to respond with a review. Thanks for the head's up! xoxo
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Those chapters I referred to is a far bigger. It did not begin with writing byt rather became a side effect but a great one!
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Your very kind Rachelle thank you so much!
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Honestly my pleasure. xo
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A fun post Lea as these three squirrels try to poke their head through the hole in this tree, your post is humorous and I wish you luck with the contest, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2023
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A fun post Lea as these three squirrels try to poke their head through the hole in this tree, your post is humorous and I wish you luck with the contest, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 01-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2023
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Lol...I'm glad you like it thank you!