A Mirror Lesson
Kit learns to be honest about herself.5 total reviews
Comment from Andrea Kepple
I like the play on the mirror on the wall and Snow White tale.
I think the play on the name of the mirror is cute.
I like the mirror being able to show Kit she could be anything she set her mind to be.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2023
  |
I like the play on the mirror on the wall and Snow White tale.
I think the play on the name of the mirror is cute.
I like the mirror being able to show Kit she could be anything she set her mind to be.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2023
-
Thank you for taking the time to read and provide encouraging feedback.
Comment from zanya
Very interesting and engaging tale set in an old abandoned house- intriguing and draws the reader in and concluding with an inspirational moral at the end.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2023
 |
Very interesting and engaging tale set in an old abandoned house- intriguing and draws the reader in and concluding with an inspirational moral at the end.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2023
-
Thanks for the read, review and six stars. Appreciated your time.
Comment from jim vecchio
This brought me back to my childhood when a cousin and I found an abandoned house, relaxed in qn upper bedroom, and devoured a box of cookies. There was no magic mirror, though! This had qa good morql for any youngster who may read it.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2023
|
This brought me back to my childhood when a cousin and I found an abandoned house, relaxed in qn upper bedroom, and devoured a box of cookies. There was no magic mirror, though! This had qa good morql for any youngster who may read it.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2023
-
Thanks for your read and feedback. We didn't have any abandon houses, but we would often play in new houses being constructed when the workers left for the day.
-
Sounds like fun!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is a well told story which I enjoyed reading. You cleverly evoke a good haunted feel to the old mansion and you do that by not overdoing the imagery but by getting that spot-on. I like the dust swirling in the shaft of light. The reader fully appreciates the character of Kit - her impishness and inquisitiveness. Personally I would have preferred a little more detail at the beginning about her naughtiness so that the mirror's advice would have had more impact. There are a few small edits: p.2 l.6 - (flipped); p.3 l.7 (placed); p.4 l.21 (she). And your text has highlight blocking around it which seems to happen a lot to people's posts when they cut and paste. But still all very legible and a magic read. Well done! Debbie
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2023
|
This is a well told story which I enjoyed reading. You cleverly evoke a good haunted feel to the old mansion and you do that by not overdoing the imagery but by getting that spot-on. I like the dust swirling in the shaft of light. The reader fully appreciates the character of Kit - her impishness and inquisitiveness. Personally I would have preferred a little more detail at the beginning about her naughtiness so that the mirror's advice would have had more impact. There are a few small edits: p.2 l.6 - (flipped); p.3 l.7 (placed); p.4 l.21 (she). And your text has highlight blocking around it which seems to happen a lot to people's posts when they cut and paste. But still all very legible and a magic read. Well done! Debbie
Comment Written 30-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2023
-
Thanks fot the careful read and the edits. Deeply appreciated. I will also think about adding to Kit's character. Tried to remove the highlighting but could not do it.
Comment from Nicki Nance
This was a great mirror story. I especially liked that mom dotted the last I. Erised and It's characters were well developed. Your imagery took the reader on a tour of the mansion. I wondered why Kit needed a flashlight in the morning-noon time frame. Also, I think you may have intended punctuation between her gingerly stepping and slowly climbing.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2023
|
This was a great mirror story. I especially liked that mom dotted the last I. Erised and It's characters were well developed. Your imagery took the reader on a tour of the mansion. I wondered why Kit needed a flashlight in the morning-noon time frame. Also, I think you may have intended punctuation between her gingerly stepping and slowly climbing.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2023
-
Flashlight need because the mansion was boarded up. Perhaps I need to mention this fact. Thanks for the helpful feedback.
