Passion For Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "The Shift"Book 3 of assorted poems
3 total reviews
Comment from Lisasview
This new poem of yours just popped up on my Fan list...
Such a wonderful entry for faith and wow, the photo is really amazing.
Loved your words about life and of course death.
I wish you the very best of luck in the upcoming contest...Faith Poetry.
Hoping all is well with you,
Lisasview
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2023
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This new poem of yours just popped up on my Fan list...
Such a wonderful entry for faith and wow, the photo is really amazing.
Loved your words about life and of course death.
I wish you the very best of luck in the upcoming contest...Faith Poetry.
Hoping all is well with you,
Lisasview
Comment Written 27-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2023
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Thanks so much as always, Lisa. I appreciate your kind reduce the comments and your thoughts. You're always important to me. I'm glad to be back in the fold, my poem called dark highway is what happened to me while I was away. I'm having trouble sleeping, but I must write. This will bring me back to myself. I hope you too are well and things are going good.
Thank you again, have a fabulous day!
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Lea,
This is a well told story of the aging process and what in brings to life. Old age does seem to come on quicker than you though it would. But we have hope, as you state in the end, of seeing each other again after death.
I think may be you should make the font bigger or change it. Sometimes it is hard to read for us older folks.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Good luck in the contest.
Enjoy your day.
Joan
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2023
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Hi Lea,
This is a well told story of the aging process and what in brings to life. Old age does seem to come on quicker than you though it would. But we have hope, as you state in the end, of seeing each other again after death.
I think may be you should make the font bigger or change it. Sometimes it is hard to read for us older folks.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Good luck in the contest.
Enjoy your day.
Joan
Comment Written 27-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2023
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Thank you so much, Joan! I'll definitely take a look at the font. I think a change is in order. I appreciate your comments and all your kind thoughts. I appreciate also your time as everyone is valuable so I hope your day is grand!
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You're welcome on all accounts, Lea.
Joan
Comment from Paul Manton
Dear Lea, Well now, I'm getting to look more and more like this gentleman in the stetson. The beard's almost that length - but I usually wear a peaked cap in the rain. (Stetsons are uncommon in Finchley!)
From birth to death in one brief poem - impressive - though Shakespeare did it with fewer words ('As You Like It' act II scene 7 'All the world's a stage . . .') than this old timer. 'intrepid young so we were . .' is a brilliant opener [at this point, I recommend you use the first line font size throughout the poem, as several on FS have limited vision - especially useful with a fancy font]
Rhyming couplets in quatrains, four beats to the line - mixed rhythms.
Works well most of the time.
'comes back to life a minute and five' is not a phrase I understand, and might be an American usage - if so, consider a footnote.
There are some hiccups in the meter, Leah, where you might either add or remove syllables - but I leave that to you.
And at the end, we see the old boy has lived a life of faith, and looks forward to going home to meet His maker. He is sure that we shall all meet again - with our 'true family.'
Thank you for this spiritual and uplifting poem, Leah.
Paul
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2023
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Dear Lea, Well now, I'm getting to look more and more like this gentleman in the stetson. The beard's almost that length - but I usually wear a peaked cap in the rain. (Stetsons are uncommon in Finchley!)
From birth to death in one brief poem - impressive - though Shakespeare did it with fewer words ('As You Like It' act II scene 7 'All the world's a stage . . .') than this old timer. 'intrepid young so we were . .' is a brilliant opener [at this point, I recommend you use the first line font size throughout the poem, as several on FS have limited vision - especially useful with a fancy font]
Rhyming couplets in quatrains, four beats to the line - mixed rhythms.
Works well most of the time.
'comes back to life a minute and five' is not a phrase I understand, and might be an American usage - if so, consider a footnote.
There are some hiccups in the meter, Leah, where you might either add or remove syllables - but I leave that to you.
And at the end, we see the old boy has lived a life of faith, and looks forward to going home to meet His maker. He is sure that we shall all meet again - with our 'true family.'
Thank you for this spiritual and uplifting poem, Leah.
Paul
Comment Written 27-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2023
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Thank you for that awesomely thorough review. Yes, my brain is a little bit scattered. I am gonna take a closer look at it. Let's see what tweets I can make.
I appreciate your solid review. Definitely all of your comments are important to me.
Somedays are better than others I guess. 🙃😁🙂🤔 Thank you again and I appreciate you!
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Love without end - from the Lord.
And from me.