Addiction.
A short poem about addiction and its downfalls.6 total reviews
Comment from prettybluebirds
First, let me welcome you to FanStory. Then, I hate to inform you, whatever you posted never came through at all. There is just a big black blank space where your poem should be. Try again, it should show up.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2023
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First, let me welcome you to FanStory. Then, I hate to inform you, whatever you posted never came through at all. There is just a big black blank space where your poem should be. Try again, it should show up.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2023
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Thank you.
Comment from shelley kaye
first, it's black on black - need to fix the font.
other than that, this was a great poem about addiction.
didn't notice any typos or spag
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2023
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first, it's black on black - need to fix the font.
other than that, this was a great poem about addiction.
didn't notice any typos or spag
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
Comment Written 26-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2023
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Thanks Shelley. Will sort.
Comment from Nina Sexton
Apologies for not being able to review this post as it turns up an entirely blank ALL black box with no content. I further tried to view on your page but same thing there. Please look into and notify me as I would love to read it.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2023
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Apologies for not being able to review this post as it turns up an entirely blank ALL black box with no content. I further tried to view on your page but same thing there. Please look into and notify me as I would love to read it.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2023
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Sorted....
Comment from lancellot
I think there is a clear or medical definition of addiction, but I get your point. I think some edits are needed in the poem itself. Also, in order to read it, one has to copy and paste to Word. Your first edit should be to either change the background color or the font color.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2023
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I think there is a clear or medical definition of addiction, but I get your point. I think some edits are needed in the poem itself. Also, in order to read it, one has to copy and paste to Word. Your first edit should be to either change the background color or the font color.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2023
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Thanks Lancellot DONE !
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Hi Enrico! Congrats first on your milestone! I'm glad you got the background sorted as I was looking forward to reading your verse on this subject. It's a good though complex theme and I commend you here for all you say. Personally, I think, though you describe it as a short poem, it would benefit from being shorter and a bit more polished. The rhythm is a bit bumpy and you seem to be forfeiting meter for rhyme. You need to have regular syllable count and then read out loud to try and get a musical beat. Failing that you could write this in free verse which doesn't require you to adhere to strict meter/rhyme rules. It really has the beginning of something good so keep writing. Good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2023
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Hi Enrico! Congrats first on your milestone! I'm glad you got the background sorted as I was looking forward to reading your verse on this subject. It's a good though complex theme and I commend you here for all you say. Personally, I think, though you describe it as a short poem, it would benefit from being shorter and a bit more polished. The rhythm is a bit bumpy and you seem to be forfeiting meter for rhyme. You need to have regular syllable count and then read out loud to try and get a musical beat. Failing that you could write this in free verse which doesn't require you to adhere to strict meter/rhyme rules. It really has the beginning of something good so keep writing. Good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 26-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2023
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Thanks Debbie. DONE !
Comment from Lea Tonin1
I'm sorry, my friend, I can't read your poem. The whole thing is blacked out. Perhaps change the background color so that we can red. What you've written welcome to fan's story. I look forward to reading!
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2023
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I'm sorry, my friend, I can't read your poem. The whole thing is blacked out. Perhaps change the background color so that we can red. What you've written welcome to fan's story. I look forward to reading!
Comment Written 26-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2023
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Thank you Lea. Sorted !
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It's a great poem perfect subject matter. Perfect grammar and ethnic excellent submission. I have changed your rating to excellent.
