Angels Unaware
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "A Christmas Proposal"A Memoir and Love Story
10 total reviews
Comment from patcelaw
This is an absolutely marvelous story about your love for this year lady. And your love for that little girl I am absolutely amazed at your story, and how that even though you had grown up in difficult times you became a true man of God. Have a wonderful day and God bless. Patricia
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2023
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This is an absolutely marvelous story about your love for this year lady. And your love for that little girl I am absolutely amazed at your story, and how that even though you had grown up in difficult times you became a true man of God. Have a wonderful day and God bless. Patricia
Comment Written 26-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2023
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Thanks again for this Patty.
Comment from lyenochka
I smiled at the funny expression "squeeze dollars into turnips." So glad that you did final propose even if it came out more of a statement. But Mary always loved you so it all worked out perfectly!
say New Years eve." (Year's Eve)
She pulled her fur lined collar up until [it] hugged
then I kept [it] with pictures of you
a little girls love I wanted to win over. (girl's)
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2023
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I smiled at the funny expression "squeeze dollars into turnips." So glad that you did final propose even if it came out more of a statement. But Mary always loved you so it all worked out perfectly!
say New Years eve." (Year's Eve)
She pulled her fur lined collar up until [it] hugged
then I kept [it] with pictures of you
a little girls love I wanted to win over. (girl's)
Comment Written 26-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2023
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Thanks so much. I appreciate how you give me fixes too.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
What a sweet chapter! If your intention was to draw tears, you succeeded. The rose petal sealed the deal!
In spite of an awkward proposal, it all turned out well.p, and I'm so glad. Foolishness of youth was made good by the Grace of God, and your wise decision.
I love a happy ending!
Take care,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2023
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What a sweet chapter! If your intention was to draw tears, you succeeded. The rose petal sealed the deal!
In spite of an awkward proposal, it all turned out well.p, and I'm so glad. Foolishness of youth was made good by the Grace of God, and your wise decision.
I love a happy ending!
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment Written 25-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2023
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Oh thanks and I just realized I misspelled rose petal, (pedal) Yikes! Appreciate it. I hurried this install because of work related projects.
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I never noticed the mistake, lol!! I read it as petal.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
I liked reading this. We all love those happy endings. Or maybe it is a bit of a Christmas miracle.
A few little fixes:
At the end of the first semester of school winter took a bite out of northern Texas.
I would put a comma after school.
A few days before Christmas I was ready to make the run south to northern San Antonio.
I think I would put a comma after Christmas.
My 66 Cadillac convertible was working.
I think I would say: My '66 Cadillac convertible was working.
With a broken speedometer, I made to my girlfriend in record time and surprised everyone.
I suspect there is one word or maybe two words missing here.
Maybe: With a broken speedometer, I made it to my girlfriend's home in record time and surprised everyone.
When I got out of the caddy
Just capitalize Caddy
She could have said like in the movie Jerry Maguire,
I would put the movie title in quotation marks.
I tried, but you've always had piece of my heart.
Just insert 'a' in front of piece.
There are more, but I bet other reviewers may point them out.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2023
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I liked reading this. We all love those happy endings. Or maybe it is a bit of a Christmas miracle.
A few little fixes:
At the end of the first semester of school winter took a bite out of northern Texas.
I would put a comma after school.
A few days before Christmas I was ready to make the run south to northern San Antonio.
I think I would put a comma after Christmas.
My 66 Cadillac convertible was working.
I think I would say: My '66 Cadillac convertible was working.
With a broken speedometer, I made to my girlfriend in record time and surprised everyone.
I suspect there is one word or maybe two words missing here.
Maybe: With a broken speedometer, I made it to my girlfriend's home in record time and surprised everyone.
When I got out of the caddy
Just capitalize Caddy
She could have said like in the movie Jerry Maguire,
I would put the movie title in quotation marks.
I tried, but you've always had piece of my heart.
Just insert 'a' in front of piece.
There are more, but I bet other reviewers may point them out.
Comment Written 25-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2023
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Thanks so much. I went back fixed some things others gave me. I need to do more. I kind of hurried this install. Thanks for the positive feedback.
Comment from Alaskastory
"A Christmas Proposal" is an amusing story that makes any reader love the characters. They come to life in a real way.
I think "when" here should be "what" --""Do you remember when you once told me after.....
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2023
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"A Christmas Proposal" is an amusing story that makes any reader love the characters. They come to life in a real way.
I think "when" here should be "what" --""Do you remember when you once told me after.....
Comment Written 24-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2023
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Thanks Marie! I need to go back and do some serious editing with this install. Appreciate it.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I am enjoying this storyline. Having lived in Texas for 18 years, an actual winter in San Antonio is a little surprising.
Once again I failed at etiquette. (comma after 'again')
We went inside and sat down on the sofa. & We sat down together in the parlor making plans while her daughter slept (you can omit 'down' it's understood)
The next day we left the humble trailer with additions built by Mary's carpenter (The following day)
I could buy my first gifts for a little girls love I wanted to win over. (girl's love)
asked if I could lay next to her. (lay beside her)
"I'm a virgin, I've never made love to another woman. (A virgin would imply he's never made love to any woman, not another woman.)
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2023
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I am enjoying this storyline. Having lived in Texas for 18 years, an actual winter in San Antonio is a little surprising.
Once again I failed at etiquette. (comma after 'again')
We went inside and sat down on the sofa. & We sat down together in the parlor making plans while her daughter slept (you can omit 'down' it's understood)
The next day we left the humble trailer with additions built by Mary's carpenter (The following day)
I could buy my first gifts for a little girls love I wanted to win over. (girl's love)
asked if I could lay next to her. (lay beside her)
"I'm a virgin, I've never made love to another woman. (A virgin would imply he's never made love to any woman, not another woman.)
Comment Written 24-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2023
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Thanks so much Barbara. I did change the last paragraph. I rushed this too much. I always appreciate editing help.
Comment from Ben Colder
Well done, so natural with this. Tried from every corner. Amazing, the car won't start. Best excuse for the moment. Love is blind but marriage is a great eye opener. Glad you two got together. Sounds real.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2023
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Well done, so natural with this. Tried from every corner. Amazing, the car won't start. Best excuse for the moment. Love is blind but marriage is a great eye opener. Glad you two got together. Sounds real.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2023
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Thanks again Ben!
Comment from royowen
Beautifully written Stan. There is absolutely nothing better than a perfect love story, where the love for each other is a dream born in heaven, a love lived out and accomplished on earth by two people God meant to dwell with one another under His blessing, Roy
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2023
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Beautifully written Stan. There is absolutely nothing better than a perfect love story, where the love for each other is a dream born in heaven, a love lived out and accomplished on earth by two people God meant to dwell with one another under His blessing, Roy
Comment Written 24-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2023
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Appreciate this so much.
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A pleasure
Comment from BethShelby
This is a beautiful love story. I think people make too much to do over the way to go aboug asking someone to marry you. You way was just fine. I sure nothing you said could have meant more to Mary than just knowing you were ready to commit to her. I really enjoyed reading this.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2023
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This is a beautiful love story. I think people make too much to do over the way to go aboug asking someone to marry you. You way was just fine. I sure nothing you said could have meant more to Mary than just knowing you were ready to commit to her. I really enjoyed reading this.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2023
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Thanks Beth. I really appreciate this.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
A lovely story of true love! Your description of the weather is excellently done - so evocative and Christmassy. But also the sweetly reserved, self-conscious nature of the relationship warmly cocooned within those biting wintry elements. There are some minor edits: line starting She kissed and hugged me....always had (a) piece; With a broken speedometer...I made (?); lines starting Then let's get married and The city celebrated .. New Years (E)ve. And perhaps a few more commas throughout? But this in magically told and a joy to read. Thank you so much, Debbie
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2023
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A lovely story of true love! Your description of the weather is excellently done - so evocative and Christmassy. But also the sweetly reserved, self-conscious nature of the relationship warmly cocooned within those biting wintry elements. There are some minor edits: line starting She kissed and hugged me....always had (a) piece; With a broken speedometer...I made (?); lines starting Then let's get married and The city celebrated .. New Years (E)ve. And perhaps a few more commas throughout? But this in magically told and a joy to read. Thank you so much, Debbie
Comment Written 24-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2023
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Appreciate your positive comments and always welcome editing help too!
