2023 Gypsy's Tanka
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Coal-Shade Night"-
9 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
It's a beautiful tanka you have written here, Marival. I absolutely loved it. The imagery is fabulous and the despair is felt in every single word. Un abrazo y besitos, Ulla xx
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2023
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It's a beautiful tanka you have written here, Marival. I absolutely loved it. The imagery is fabulous and the despair is felt in every single word. Un abrazo y besitos, Ulla xx
Comment Written 23-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2023
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Gracia, Ulla. I appreciate your time and kind review.
Abracitos y besitos
Marival
Comment from barbara.wilkey
The metaphors and similes are alive and well in this beautiful poem. I forgot the emotion. This poem is dripping with emotion. Thank you for sharing your talent with us. We are lucky that you do.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2023
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The metaphors and similes are alive and well in this beautiful poem. I forgot the emotion. This poem is dripping with emotion. Thank you for sharing your talent with us. We are lucky that you do.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2023
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Thank you very much for your exceptional review and kind words.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from aryr
What an amazing tanka, Gypsy. This was so special because it showed not only the sorrow in your words but showed the pictures of the moth captured in the close jar and the opened jar. Blessed Be n Hugs!!!
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2023
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What an amazing tanka, Gypsy. This was so special because it showed not only the sorrow in your words but showed the pictures of the moth captured in the close jar and the opened jar. Blessed Be n Hugs!!!
Comment Written 23-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2023
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Thank you very much for your exceptional review and kind words. Blessed be.
Gypsy hugs
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You are so very welcome, Gypsy.
Comment from lyenochka
You always use strong metaphors and similes. I like the "coal-shade night"
and "like a moth dying inside a glass" and "my light is a dimming star" to show the fading hope in the lost love.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2023
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You always use strong metaphors and similes. I like the "coal-shade night"
and "like a moth dying inside a glass" and "my light is a dimming star" to show the fading hope in the lost love.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2023
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Yes, that's true. (*+*)
Big sister, thank you very much for your exceptional review and kind words
Love xoxo
Marival
Comment from AP Apgar
I like your tanka poem - Excellent picture presentation of moths flying around an old light - I don't understand what a 'cold-shade night' is - new one. Moths do always seem to fly toward a flame, or a light in my experience - today I have exchanged the candle with a blue bug light - like the candle better - not a noisy when the fly in - here's a bit a trivia for you - best light for bugs?? Red = they can't see the color red - tried a bug light on the porch - bad idea - red? No bugs in sight. Now you have it! Good luck.. good word count 31 Nice job. AP
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2023
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I like your tanka poem - Excellent picture presentation of moths flying around an old light - I don't understand what a 'cold-shade night' is - new one. Moths do always seem to fly toward a flame, or a light in my experience - today I have exchanged the candle with a blue bug light - like the candle better - not a noisy when the fly in - here's a bit a trivia for you - best light for bugs?? Red = they can't see the color red - tried a bug light on the porch - bad idea - red? No bugs in sight. Now you have it! Good luck.. good word count 31 Nice job. AP
Comment Written 22-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2023
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Ap, a red light in the porch means prostitute open for business. Hahaha. Probably not what you meant.
Thank you very much for the excellent review. :) have a wonderful day.
Gypsy hugs
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I was wondering why all these strange people were knocking on my door!!! I told them it was a anti-bug light- thanks for the info!?lol
Hug
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
You truly display the power of poetry as you write from real experience and feelings. Often, people like us, are so deep into feeling everything and it can feel like being trapped in glass with your light.
Still, just as your poem and whole presentation show, the light still finds a way to shine and be seen
Keep shining your precious and strong light because it means more than you could know to so many, like me. So thankful to be near your light.
Love
Alexan ;))x
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2023
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You truly display the power of poetry as you write from real experience and feelings. Often, people like us, are so deep into feeling everything and it can feel like being trapped in glass with your light.
Still, just as your poem and whole presentation show, the light still finds a way to shine and be seen
Keep shining your precious and strong light because it means more than you could know to so many, like me. So thankful to be near your light.
Love
Alexan ;))x
Comment Written 22-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2023
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Thank you very much for the excellent review. :) have a wonderful day.
Love xoxo
Marival
Comment from shelley kaye
aw this is so sad... i like comparing a moth dying inside a jar to lost love
very nice tanka with good imagery
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2023
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aw this is so sad... i like comparing a moth dying inside a jar to lost love
very nice tanka with good imagery
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
Comment Written 22-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2023
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Thank you very much for the excellent review. :) have a wonderful day.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Heather Knight
I never get tired of looking at your beautiful poems. Beautiful words, beautiful presentation, condensed meaning. Your tankas, haikus... are so very powerful.
This one is very sad because I think I know what you're talking about, but I might be totally mistaken.
I'm reading lots of six-star-worthy posts tonight, but I have no sixes left. You're high up in the list.
Muchos besos.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2023
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I never get tired of looking at your beautiful poems. Beautiful words, beautiful presentation, condensed meaning. Your tankas, haikus... are so very powerful.
This one is very sad because I think I know what you're talking about, but I might be totally mistaken.
I'm reading lots of six-star-worthy posts tonight, but I have no sixes left. You're high up in the list.
Muchos besos.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2023
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Thank you very much for the excellent review and kind words. :) have a wonderful day.
Besitos y abrazos.
Marival
Comment from GWHARGIS
Very telling of a relationship that is dying. The mother in a jar was a mournful image. A slow death, where you can see the outside but are trapped. Beautifully written. This was full of wonderful imagery. Great job. Gretchen
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2023
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Very telling of a relationship that is dying. The mother in a jar was a mournful image. A slow death, where you can see the outside but are trapped. Beautifully written. This was full of wonderful imagery. Great job. Gretchen
Comment Written 22-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2023
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Thank you very much for your exceptional review and kind words.
Gypsy hugs