How to Get Rid of Jaime
Everyone needs a little help sometimes7 total reviews
Comment from Wendy G
Looks like he has come totally undone. What a greedy foul person, and he deserves the revenge, served cold. She's escaped before he could get his hands on her money. Well written.
Wendy
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2023
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Looks like he has come totally undone. What a greedy foul person, and he deserves the revenge, served cold. She's escaped before he could get his hands on her money. Well written.
Wendy
Comment Written 10-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2023
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Thank you for your kind review
Comment from Andrea Kepple
I like the twists and the turns through this story. You kept me guessing right through until the ending. I got a good feel for the main and the secondary character in the story.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2023
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I like the twists and the turns through this story. You kept me guessing right through until the ending. I got a good feel for the main and the secondary character in the story.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2023
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Thanks for your kind review
Comment from lancellot
Well, the writing is good. And I think I understand the gist of the story. I will admit, I don't see the revenge or the reason behind it. We are missing too much, of what Jamie did. We aren't really shown anything. I think there is too much vagueness, besides we are supposed to want revenge against Jamie for what... cheating on his wife? Okay, we don't see that.
notes:
["]The Will?" A dream, a made up masquerade of paper and paint.
-add
"But perhaps we could [get] a bite to eat before you leave? Something cold?"
-add missing word.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2023
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Well, the writing is good. And I think I understand the gist of the story. I will admit, I don't see the revenge or the reason behind it. We are missing too much, of what Jamie did. We aren't really shown anything. I think there is too much vagueness, besides we are supposed to want revenge against Jamie for what... cheating on his wife? Okay, we don't see that.
notes:
["]The Will?" A dream, a made up masquerade of paper and paint.
-add
"But perhaps we could [get] a bite to eat before you leave? Something cold?"
-add missing word.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2023
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Thanks for your review.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Excellent, fitting the brief perfectly! And quite some intuition finally determining that this man is after one thing and Gabi has already sussed him out. Only one thing remains - a tasty cold meal! Your story reads well without error - I think this is a good contender for the contest. Good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2023
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Excellent, fitting the brief perfectly! And quite some intuition finally determining that this man is after one thing and Gabi has already sussed him out. Only one thing remains - a tasty cold meal! Your story reads well without error - I think this is a good contender for the contest. Good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 08-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2023
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Thank you so much, Debbie!
Comment from JSD
Excellent piece. Convincing and engaging characters and authentic dialogue. An interesting, well structured narrative. All the best of luck in the competition. John
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2023
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Excellent piece. Convincing and engaging characters and authentic dialogue. An interesting, well structured narrative. All the best of luck in the competition. John
Comment Written 08-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2023
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Thank you John
Comment from Paul Manton
A really enjoyable and assured piece of writing - the character of the hapless Jaime, at first assumed to be a louche predator, turning out to be more of a 'mark' for the real predator, who played him like Stradivarius!
For her (or her money) he has left, home, job, country, wife - and far from being the tall, dark and handsome icon with the chiselled chin, he is middle-aged lothario, whose powers of seduction departed half a lifetime ago. He is, in fact, pathetic!
A delicious run out - the last twist of the knife - the suspicion that the only way out for Jaime is self-destruction - and the cold cut.
Brilliantly constructed. Thank you.
Paul
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2023
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A really enjoyable and assured piece of writing - the character of the hapless Jaime, at first assumed to be a louche predator, turning out to be more of a 'mark' for the real predator, who played him like Stradivarius!
For her (or her money) he has left, home, job, country, wife - and far from being the tall, dark and handsome icon with the chiselled chin, he is middle-aged lothario, whose powers of seduction departed half a lifetime ago. He is, in fact, pathetic!
A delicious run out - the last twist of the knife - the suspicion that the only way out for Jaime is self-destruction - and the cold cut.
Brilliantly constructed. Thank you.
Paul
Comment Written 08-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2023
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Thank YOU for such a greaet review.
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Welcome.
Best wishes, Paul
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Love this post. Gabi knew exactly what she was doing and as with all addictions, the only way to stop is abruptly and this is how she dealt with this one. A fine post for the contest and a winner for me.
Just one adjustment here as there is a missing word:
But perhaps we could (have) a bite to eat before you leave?
Good luck.
Love Dolly x
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2023
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Love this post. Gabi knew exactly what she was doing and as with all addictions, the only way to stop is abruptly and this is how she dealt with this one. A fine post for the contest and a winner for me.
Just one adjustment here as there is a missing word:
But perhaps we could (have) a bite to eat before you leave?
Good luck.
Love Dolly x
Comment Written 08-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2023
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Oh thank you for the edit. What an important word to miss!
