Saving Mr. Calvin
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Saving Mr. Calvin c3: Arie Papin"Golf's legacy and future
13 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Including the regional dialect here adds to the attention getting technique. The reader is leaning forward with this line: " I didn't notice a rut that was a few steps in front, and when my left foot hit it, I went down hard. I couldn't stay down long though, or they would surely catch up, and who knows what kind of pounding I would receive if they caught me?" This is good: "I figured the
voice came from over behind the trees." I hope this is fodder for more chapters: "My goodness, how I hoped we would meet again. I was determined to make that happen." How delightful. I've used up all my 6's but I can give you A+
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2023
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Including the regional dialect here adds to the attention getting technique. The reader is leaning forward with this line: " I didn't notice a rut that was a few steps in front, and when my left foot hit it, I went down hard. I couldn't stay down long though, or they would surely catch up, and who knows what kind of pounding I would receive if they caught me?" This is good: "I figured the
voice came from over behind the trees." I hope this is fodder for more chapters: "My goodness, how I hoped we would meet again. I was determined to make that happen." How delightful. I've used up all my 6's but I can give you A+
Comment Written 28-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2023
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You're very kind, Liz. I'm so impressed you went back to read from the beginning. Not many are willing to do that when the story is this far along.
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I shall continue. I have your ch numbered in my notes. This ch was especially delightful
Comment from jmdg1954
Awesome jump to way back in time. Stories typically go back a few decades, maybe one hundred years or so, but you took us on a mega-leap.
I enjoyed this chapter and the historical tones it's about to open up for us. I'm curious to see where and how this develops.
On to the next.
John
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2023
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Awesome jump to way back in time. Stories typically go back a few decades, maybe one hundred years or so, but you took us on a mega-leap.
I enjoyed this chapter and the historical tones it's about to open up for us. I'm curious to see where and how this develops.
On to the next.
John
Comment Written 05-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2023
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I needed to go that far back, because that's when it was believed by many to be the origin of the game. We'll be in the 13th century for a while.
Comment from JSD
Wow. Talk about a switch in narrative, but fascinating nonetheless. Engaging characters immediately and the start with running is dramatic and breathless, literally. Well done. I look forward to more.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2023
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Wow. Talk about a switch in narrative, but fascinating nonetheless. Engaging characters immediately and the start with running is dramatic and breathless, literally. Well done. I look forward to more.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2023
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Thank you so much, J. Glad you enjoyed that sudden transition. We will remain in 13th-century Holland for a while.
Comment from lancellot
Well, this chapter took a turn, and bigger jump in time than before. Different characters, different times, and three different threads. What connects them? The land maybe. And what does Calvin know.
Many questions. This is well made, and you do a great job drawing the reader in and holding their interest.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2023
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Well, this chapter took a turn, and bigger jump in time than before. Different characters, different times, and three different threads. What connects them? The land maybe. And what does Calvin know.
Many questions. This is well made, and you do a great job drawing the reader in and holding their interest.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2023
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Thanks very much, Lance, for this great review and the 6 stars. It will take a little while until we figure out what exactly is happening and to bring the stories together, but hopefully it will be worth the wait.
Comment from lyenochka
How fun! I like this switch to the past but I'm wondering why we're in Holland as I thought golf was created by the Scots. And why New Amsterdam? As that's a 17th century Dutch settlement in New York. Amsterdam was established in the late 12th century. So this could be when the city just started?
I guess this relationship will be revealed and may be ancestors of the Southern Californian narrator.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2023
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How fun! I like this switch to the past but I'm wondering why we're in Holland as I thought golf was created by the Scots. And why New Amsterdam? As that's a 17th century Dutch settlement in New York. Amsterdam was established in the late 12th century. So this could be when the city just started?
I guess this relationship will be revealed and may be ancestors of the Southern Californian narrator.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2023
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There is controversy about the true origin of the game, but many think the true beginning was years earlier in Holland with the game called kolven or kolv, named after the club that was used to hit a ball to a target or a hole. It was often played on ice during the winter, but in the fields over great distances the rest of the year.
The text actually says "Near Amsterdam" rather than "New Amsterdam."
Glad you are enjoying this, Helen. We will be staying here in Holland for a while.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
It moved along well. I can imagine visually what is written verbally but why Arie Papuan. Doesn't sound feminine at all which is where the story leads to presses against Killian.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2023
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It moved along well. I can imagine visually what is written verbally but why Arie Papuan. Doesn't sound feminine at all which is where the story leads to presses against Killian.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2023
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Arie is a Dutch girl's name as is Papin a Dutch surname. I had to do some research on this to find girl's names starting with "A" and last names starting with "P." There is a specific reason for this which you'll probably figure out after a while.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Well, I miss just one chapter and we have time travelled and Kevin Parsons has gone back to his identity before he was reincarnated. Or is he yet to appear in the past? I guess this all becomes clear in the future (hee, hee).
This sounds like something that has taken a lot of research on your part, Jim. For that, and for the engaging and descriptive way you have written this chapter, you deserve all six of the shiny stars.
Pam
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2023
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Well, I miss just one chapter and we have time travelled and Kevin Parsons has gone back to his identity before he was reincarnated. Or is he yet to appear in the past? I guess this all becomes clear in the future (hee, hee).
This sounds like something that has taken a lot of research on your part, Jim. For that, and for the engaging and descriptive way you have written this chapter, you deserve all six of the shiny stars.
Pam
Comment Written 03-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2023
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You're close with your musings, Pam.
Yes, this has taken a bit of research which is ongoing. Still researching what's to come in Part 2. Hey, thanks so much for the great review and the stars!
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Could it be that 1247 is on the other side of the trestle? I look forward to the next chapter to figure out, maybe, what is going on. We readers certainly aren't in a golf game any more.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2023
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Could it be that 1247 is on the other side of the trestle? I look forward to the next chapter to figure out, maybe, what is going on. We readers certainly aren't in a golf game any more.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2023
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Ah-ha! You're onto me, Carol. It will be a few chapters yet until you quite figure out what's going on, but hopefully worth the wait.
Comment from Jay Squires
Jim, I've been lavish with my 6s since Saturday night, and now that I've come across one that is truly deserving, I can't honor it. Today's story is so clever and charming. This crossing the portal idea into -- let me guess -- Scotland? will give a nice contrast with the original golf problem. Thank you or sharing it.
Jay
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2023
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Jim, I've been lavish with my 6s since Saturday night, and now that I've come across one that is truly deserving, I can't honor it. Today's story is so clever and charming. This crossing the portal idea into -- let me guess -- Scotland? will give a nice contrast with the original golf problem. Thank you or sharing it.
Jay
Comment Written 03-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2023
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Not a problem, Jay. Your words mean a lot more to me than the stars.
It's actually Holland in the year 1247, rather than Scotland that we have landed in. This may come as a surprise to you, but is historically correct. You might call this story historical fiction in some respects.
Comment from royowen
What an enchanting story Jim, a little different from your golf stories, (or maybe this is dating back to how golf got its beginning, heh heh). I can remember my first stirrings when a boy, just as stirring as the most inventive name, of the girl and boy. Beautifully written my friend, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
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What an enchanting story Jim, a little different from your golf stories, (or maybe this is dating back to how golf got its beginning, heh heh). I can remember my first stirrings when a boy, just as stirring as the most inventive name, of the girl and boy. Beautifully written my friend, blessings Roy
Comment Written 03-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
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Thanks, Roy. This one is a little bit different and much fun writing. I, too, can well remember those early stirrings!
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Well done Jim.