The End and the Beginning
Is it really a dream, or a nightmare?8 total reviews
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Apart from the name Maggie that crept in from time to time and confused me, this was as near a perfect story as I have ever read on this site. I especially loved hearing both sides of the story, which left a short window to imagine that Susan had introduced herself into the events of 3 a.m. I do wish I hadn't been confused by Maggie. kay
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2023
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Apart from the name Maggie that crept in from time to time and confused me, this was as near a perfect story as I have ever read on this site. I especially loved hearing both sides of the story, which left a short window to imagine that Susan had introduced herself into the events of 3 a.m. I do wish I hadn't been confused by Maggie. kay
Comment Written 28-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2023
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Oops! She used to be Maggie. I will change it immediately!!
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I don't know if you can during the vote... unfortunately I can't change my rating to a 6 (which a revised version would easily merit), but at least you know the thought was there. kay
Comment from Goodadvicechan
What a horrible mistake to call another woman's name while making love. Even open relationship couple cannot stand that.
The story is well told and the ending is a surprise. I am not sure whether he deserves to die or not. After it is a fiction.
Good writing. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2023
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What a horrible mistake to call another woman's name while making love. Even open relationship couple cannot stand that.
The story is well told and the ending is a surprise. I am not sure whether he deserves to die or not. After it is a fiction.
Good writing. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2023
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Thank you so much for your review.
Comment from Mario PIERRE
Nice, long and winding story. It doesn't bore the reader because it's written in a masterful manner, with style, humorous at times and packed with action!!
Great contender for this contest!!
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2023
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Nice, long and winding story. It doesn't bore the reader because it's written in a masterful manner, with style, humorous at times and packed with action!!
Great contender for this contest!!
Comment Written 26-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2023
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Thanks for your review. I appreciate it.
Comment from JSD
Graphic and utterly authentic writing. Grips the reader from start to finish and, in my opinion, one of the better entries in this contest. I wish you luck.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2023
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Graphic and utterly authentic writing. Grips the reader from start to finish and, in my opinion, one of the better entries in this contest. I wish you luck.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2023
thank you so much for a wonderful review!
Comment from Andrea Kepple
I like the echoing of the surprise at how long it took him to die until he did. There is also mirroring between the two with the dreams they were having. I like how you walked us through what each character was thinking in their parts of the story.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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I like the echoing of the surprise at how long it took him to die until he did. There is also mirroring between the two with the dreams they were having. I like how you walked us through what each character was thinking in their parts of the story.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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I'm glad those parts worked for you. I was worried the repeat wouldn't work and it is very helpful to know that it did
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Oh, my freakin gawd!! I wish I had a SIX THOUSAND to bestow here. This is the most excellent story I do believe I have ever read on this site. NO hyperbole!! You are a MASTERFUL storyteller. I was absolutely captivated. As soon as this contest reveals your identity, I am going to fan you!! Wowie zowie!! This! Was! OUTSTANDING!!!
If you don't win, then there is no point in anyone continuing being a member on here.
Good luck to you!!
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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Oh, my freakin gawd!! I wish I had a SIX THOUSAND to bestow here. This is the most excellent story I do believe I have ever read on this site. NO hyperbole!! You are a MASTERFUL storyteller. I was absolutely captivated. As soon as this contest reveals your identity, I am going to fan you!! Wowie zowie!! This! Was! OUTSTANDING!!!
If you don't win, then there is no point in anyone continuing being a member on here.
Good luck to you!!
Comment Written 25-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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I really appreciate this so much. You definitely made my day today
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Likewise! I am still amazed at your level of talent. Exceptional work. Really.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
That was a tense read! From the start, things weren't looking good for Sam. He had made too many mistakes, lied too many times and embroiled two women unhappily in his life. Your well structured story fully engaged the reader in this messy world although the ending came as quite a surprise. I like the way you expressed it from two perspectives,explaining how the dream merged into reality and in turn satisfying the reader with a reasonable understanding of the killing. It fits the brief and is, I would think, a strong contender in the contest. Good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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That was a tense read! From the start, things weren't looking good for Sam. He had made too many mistakes, lied too many times and embroiled two women unhappily in his life. Your well structured story fully engaged the reader in this messy world although the ending came as quite a surprise. I like the way you expressed it from two perspectives,explaining how the dream merged into reality and in turn satisfying the reader with a reasonable understanding of the killing. It fits the brief and is, I would think, a strong contender in the contest. Good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 25-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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Thanks again. That was very useful.
Comment from royowen
It just goes to show that lies and deception have always been the work of the devil, there's no way truth can exist in a vacuum of lies, insincerity and deception. Excellent plot, with Mollie's husband deceiving her, the moral is, don't mention another name when in the height of passion, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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It just goes to show that lies and deception have always been the work of the devil, there's no way truth can exist in a vacuum of lies, insincerity and deception. Excellent plot, with Mollie's husband deceiving her, the moral is, don't mention another name when in the height of passion, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 25-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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Thank you for a nice review!
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Most welcome
