One Thousand Cranes
Viewing comments for Chapter 304 "Shiver and Shudder"Gypsy's Favorites
9 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
Another great form! I like that the feelings erupt like a volcano and the lines grow longer as the poem progresses giving the sense of a emotional crescendo!
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2023
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Another great form! I like that the feelings erupt like a volcano and the lines grow longer as the poem progresses giving the sense of a emotional crescendo!
Comment Written 26-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2023
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Yes! That is exactly right. Thank you, big sister.
Love you,
Marival ❤️
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Gypsy Queen,
I felt this poem more than I did in reading it. My eyes followed and words formed in my mind... but it was the emotive building of the senses that allowed this creative form of poetry to hits it's true potential.
It's not a very easy thing to do in keeping something so passionate tasteful in its delivery, but I do believe you have achieved it, whilst still maintaining the lofty passion that 'makes me shiver and shudder'.
Reina Lobo Gitana... the creator of form.
Beautiful!
With our thoughts we create...
unbridled passion.
Warm regards,
James.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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Hi Gypsy Queen,
I felt this poem more than I did in reading it. My eyes followed and words formed in my mind... but it was the emotive building of the senses that allowed this creative form of poetry to hits it's true potential.
It's not a very easy thing to do in keeping something so passionate tasteful in its delivery, but I do believe you have achieved it, whilst still maintaining the lofty passion that 'makes me shiver and shudder'.
Reina Lobo Gitana... the creator of form.
Beautiful!
With our thoughts we create...
unbridled passion.
Warm regards,
James.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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''unbridled passion'' ... I like that.
Thank you for another awesome review my volcano poem. It was fun to use personification with lovemaking and nature. I am glad you think it's tasteful, not crude. That is my intention.
Big hugs, James, I hope you are well.
Gypsy
Comment from AP Apgar
I like your crescendo poem- challenging! - excellent picture presentation of the volcano- good metaphor for passions- feelings deep inside ready to explode- flows well picturing theme-
Some suggestions-
In your ten syllable stanza
: lava ejects from the crater (s) throat...still 10
(Thus) crater (subject) "thus" or crater (where) ?- where = still 11- - Good Job AP
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2023
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I like your crescendo poem- challenging! - excellent picture presentation of the volcano- good metaphor for passions- feelings deep inside ready to explode- flows well picturing theme-
Some suggestions-
In your ten syllable stanza
: lava ejects from the crater (s) throat...still 10
(Thus) crater (subject) "thus" or crater (where) ?- where = still 11- - Good Job AP
Comment Written 24-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2023
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Thank you very much, AP, I fixed it.
Thank you for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from aryr
The picture does indeed show the violence and the devastation of the erupting of a volcano, Gypsy. I loved your words that showed the eruption was in a timely manner. Well done and greatly enjoyed. Blessed Be n Hugs!!!
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2023
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The picture does indeed show the violence and the devastation of the erupting of a volcano, Gypsy. I loved your words that showed the eruption was in a timely manner. Well done and greatly enjoyed. Blessed Be n Hugs!!!
Comment Written 24-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2023
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Thank you very much for your time and kind review.
Gypsy hugs
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Most welcome, Gypsy
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Very sensual yet keeping is innocent. I like that very much. Once again you presented us with a complete package. I didn't see the black font in the author's notes. Maybe I'm blind. That could be it.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2023
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Very sensual yet keeping is innocent. I like that very much. Once again you presented us with a complete package. I didn't see the black font in the author's notes. Maybe I'm blind. That could be it.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2023
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Thank you, Barbara, I added the poem to my author notes. I appreciate your kind and helpful review. May you have a wonderful weekend.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from shelley kaye
i find volcanoes fascinating for some reason...
this was a great poem about erupting love
cool form - fits perfectly
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2023
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i find volcanoes fascinating for some reason...
this was a great poem about erupting love
cool form - fits perfectly
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
Comment Written 24-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2023
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I appreciate your kind and helpful review. May you have a wonderful weekend.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from JSD
This is beautiful, and rather sexy. I presume that was your intention. I love way this rises to a crescendo as you describe. An excellent piece. Thank you for sharing it.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2023
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This is beautiful, and rather sexy. I presume that was your intention. I love way this rises to a crescendo as you describe. An excellent piece. Thank you for sharing it.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2023
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I appreciate your kind and helpful review. May you have a wonderful weekend.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from GWHARGIS
This was a very cool poem. You projected the intensity and urgency of the building passion you feel. I think the poetic form is very cool. I was not familiar with it. Liked how you made the font smaller as it faded out. Great job. Gretchen
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2023
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This was a very cool poem. You projected the intensity and urgency of the building passion you feel. I think the poetic form is very cool. I was not familiar with it. Liked how you made the font smaller as it faded out. Great job. Gretchen
Comment Written 24-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2023
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I created this new form, I am glad you like it :)
I appreciate your kind and helpful review. May you have a wonderful weekend.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Mike Stevens
Well! Another fine poem, Gypsy----although I don't quite know what you mean when you say 'hot lava ejects?' Oh, what a minute, that's nasty! If it's ejecting from his throat, I'm doing it wrong--lol!
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2023
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Well! Another fine poem, Gypsy----although I don't quite know what you mean when you say 'hot lava ejects?' Oh, what a minute, that's nasty! If it's ejecting from his throat, I'm doing it wrong--lol!
Comment Written 24-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2023
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LoL
I appreciate your kind and helpful review. May you have a wonderful weekend.
Gypsy hugs