I told myself
Oh you are ... are you?19 total reviews
Comment from Goodadvicechan
You meet the requirements of talking to yourself.
You share with us from this poem what you like on your pizza.
You are a powerful person like the wind and the fire. These power will help you control your life.
Thanks for sharing
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
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You meet the requirements of talking to yourself.
You share with us from this poem what you like on your pizza.
You are a powerful person like the wind and the fire. These power will help you control your life.
Thanks for sharing
Comment Written 19-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
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Chan, thanks!
Comment from Gloria ....
You did a wonderful job from the contest prompt, J. Self deprecating humour is a delight when done with a light touch, which you have done here.
I know the contest is over, but still an entertaining write. :)
Gloria
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
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You did a wonderful job from the contest prompt, J. Self deprecating humour is a delight when done with a light touch, which you have done here.
I know the contest is over, but still an entertaining write. :)
Gloria
Comment Written 19-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
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Gloria, thank you for your review and fine comment,
Comment from jake cosmos aller
well done. You nailed the form. I like the last few lines the best
You'll be the dream in my sleep.
The vision in my mind.
The snore in my nose.
The drool on my pillow.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2023
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well done. You nailed the form. I like the last few lines the best
You'll be the dream in my sleep.
The vision in my mind.
The snore in my nose.
The drool on my pillow.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2023
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Thanks much, Jake. Have a great week.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Bravo. Matisimo! Well done. Even though I take umbrage with a line or two for instance: The marshmallow in my stick. ??? on your stick, unless you stick was bamboo, for one, and for another: The smoke in my wick. "From instead of in, might be better. Regardless, this is a creative piece and deserving of SIX BIg Stars.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2023
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Bravo. Matisimo! Well done. Even though I take umbrage with a line or two for instance: The marshmallow in my stick. ??? on your stick, unless you stick was bamboo, for one, and for another: The smoke in my wick. "From instead of in, might be better. Regardless, this is a creative piece and deserving of SIX BIg Stars.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2023
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Tom, wow! I am grateful, thanks much!
Comment from Eternal Muse
A very original rendition of the contest. I loved the humor and fun.
Great creative imagery, visuals and artistic presentation. Loved your choice of an artwork.
Good luck in the contest, it should do well.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2023
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A very original rendition of the contest. I loved the humor and fun.
Great creative imagery, visuals and artistic presentation. Loved your choice of an artwork.
Good luck in the contest, it should do well.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2023
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EM, thanks! I did eke out a third place among a field of superior entries.
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Congrats on the third place!
Comment from Eleri
This is a generally well written poem that fulfills the requirements of the competition. There is one near rhyme in it, ie 'Laughter' and 'pasta', and an end rhyme 'stick' and 'wick' , which I would have done away with as I think that the poem would have read better without any rhymes or with rhyming throughout. I don't think that mixing it really works. Having said that I do like this poem as it is amusing and reads well.
Good luck with it
Eleri
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This is a generally well written poem that fulfills the requirements of the competition. There is one near rhyme in it, ie 'Laughter' and 'pasta', and an end rhyme 'stick' and 'wick' , which I would have done away with as I think that the poem would have read better without any rhymes or with rhyming throughout. I don't think that mixing it really works. Having said that I do like this poem as it is amusing and reads well.
Good luck with it
Eleri
Comment Written 18-Jun-2023
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Haha this was different, JLR. I enjoyed reading it.
I liked the fun approach. You included many 'things'
most people would enjoy, then at the end you
personalized it even more. This was fun to read aloud.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2023
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Haha this was different, JLR. I enjoyed reading it.
I liked the fun approach. You included many 'things'
most people would enjoy, then at the end you
personalized it even more. This was fun to read aloud.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
Comment Written 17-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2023
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Thank you Jan.
Comment from Alina Clemens
Fun poem! I like all the comparisons you made, it made me laugh at the relatability. One suggestion I might make was the marshmallow line felt like 'on' my stick would maybe fit better than 'in'. Overall great job!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2023
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Fun poem! I like all the comparisons you made, it made me laugh at the relatability. One suggestion I might make was the marshmallow line felt like 'on' my stick would maybe fit better than 'in'. Overall great job!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2023
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Alina thank you.
Comment from royowen
Heh heh. What the...I loved this great you're the booger in my nose poem. Very clever poem, it's sure to get rid of any hopeful girlfriend (or boyfriend) this is beautifully and excellently written, good luck, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2023
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Heh heh. What the...I loved this great you're the booger in my nose poem. Very clever poem, it's sure to get rid of any hopeful girlfriend (or boyfriend) this is beautifully and excellently written, good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 17-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2023
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Thank you dear FS Friend.
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Most welcome
Comment from Lisasview
Hysterical talk you were having with yourself... I really liked the last 4 lines........
Good luck in the contest....
Lisa, new to this site...............
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2023
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Hysterical talk you were having with yourself... I really liked the last 4 lines........
Good luck in the contest....
Lisa, new to this site...............
Comment Written 17-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2023
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Lisa, great to have you in the growing community.
