One Thousand Cranes
Viewing comments for Chapter 294 "Black Rain"Gypsy's Favorites
10 total reviews
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
So beautiful but so real and sad. Exceptional writing as usual, and you share emotion, with the black rain symbolizing, because when we're hurting and missing someone, now I see everything through that pain. Very real and meaningful. For varied reasons, many people will relate to the feelings that you express so well, here. Your image captures true feelings as well.
Best wishes to you!
Alex
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
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So beautiful but so real and sad. Exceptional writing as usual, and you share emotion, with the black rain symbolizing, because when we're hurting and missing someone, now I see everything through that pain. Very real and meaningful. For varied reasons, many people will relate to the feelings that you express so well, here. Your image captures true feelings as well.
Best wishes to you!
Alex
Comment Written 15-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
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Alex,
Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from lyenochka
A sad poem indeed. Those broken promises and the bleak outlook of the future is symbolized by the black rain which doesn't feed the garden but seems to wither the yard.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
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A sad poem indeed. Those broken promises and the bleak outlook of the future is symbolized by the black rain which doesn't feed the garden but seems to wither the yard.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
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Thank you, big sister. You always get me.
Love you,
Marival ❤️
Comment from AP Apgar
I like your Choka poem- interesting sequence- good picture presentation- good syllable count? Take a look at "and promises of growing old"? 8 -? Maybe - 'and promise of growing old' ? Sad lonely poem- good job AP
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
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I like your Choka poem- interesting sequence- good picture presentation- good syllable count? Take a look at "and promises of growing old"? 8 -? Maybe - 'and promise of growing old' ? Sad lonely poem- good job AP
Comment Written 15-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
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AP,
Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback. I corrected the syllables count.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from aryr
This was a wonderful tanka, Gypsy. The dual pictures were great because they showed the sorrow one felt. Your words were justified, they were awesome. Very well done and greatly enjoyed. Blessed Be n Hugs!!!
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
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This was a wonderful tanka, Gypsy. The dual pictures were great because they showed the sorrow one felt. Your words were justified, they were awesome. Very well done and greatly enjoyed. Blessed Be n Hugs!!!
Comment Written 15-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
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Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.
Gypsy hugs
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Most welcome, Gypsy.
Comment from Mike Stevens
Another fine poem, Gypsy....and a sad and depressing reality that if you've never faced, consider yourself lucky, or a loner. Such a bleak picture your words paint
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
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Another fine poem, Gypsy....and a sad and depressing reality that if you've never faced, consider yourself lucky, or a loner. Such a bleak picture your words paint
Comment Written 15-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
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Thank you, Mike, I appreciate your kind review. Have a wonderful day.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Ouch!! This is another painful poem to read. You pulled out all the punches with this one.
The first two lines speak volumes:
"old and cruel black rain
covers our withered front yard"
Not only is the rain black the yard is withered.
But you don't stop there, oh no!
"sombered shadows
of our abandoned dark home"
Not only is our home abandoned and dark it has sombered shadows.
Then, this horrible person "took the sunshine and promises of growing old together".
GREAT JOB!!!1
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
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Ouch!! This is another painful poem to read. You pulled out all the punches with this one.
The first two lines speak volumes:
"old and cruel black rain
covers our withered front yard"
Not only is the rain black the yard is withered.
But you don't stop there, oh no!
"sombered shadows
of our abandoned dark home"
Not only is our home abandoned and dark it has sombered shadows.
Then, this horrible person "took the sunshine and promises of growing old together".
GREAT JOB!!!1
Comment Written 15-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
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Thank you, Barbara, I appreciate your kind review. Have a wonderful day.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Ulla
It's beautifully written poem, Marival, and ever so sad. I like the form and I'm tempted to try it out myself. It's such a sad ending. Un abrazo, Ulla xx
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
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It's beautifully written poem, Marival, and ever so sad. I like the form and I'm tempted to try it out myself. It's such a sad ending. Un abrazo, Ulla xx
Comment Written 15-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
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It's a good form and not complicated at all. I recommended.
Thank you, Ulla, I appreciate your kind review. Have a wonderful day. Abracitos
MariVal
Comment from GWHARGIS
This was a very haunting poem. Your descriptive verse and the stark work choice set the mood in this one. Very sad and I could feel the heartbreak of the broken promise. Gretchen
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
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This was a very haunting poem. Your descriptive verse and the stark work choice set the mood in this one. Very sad and I could feel the heartbreak of the broken promise. Gretchen
Comment Written 15-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
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Thank you, Gretchen, I appreciate your kind review. Have a wonderful day.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Teri7
Gypsy, This is a very well written poem you have penned. You used great descriptive words and very interesting imagery that goes well with your words. Thank you for sharing. love and blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
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Gypsy, This is a very well written poem you have penned. You used great descriptive words and very interesting imagery that goes well with your words. Thank you for sharing. love and blessings, Teri
Comment Written 15-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
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Thank you, Teri, I appreciate your kind review. Have a wonderful day.
Gypsy hugs
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You are so welcome my friend! love and blessings, Teri
Comment from shelley kaye
cheery... LOL
a great choka about lost love...
when i first saw the first picture
i thought it may be about dv...
love that second picture
walking in the rain is comforting...
nice work -
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
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cheery... LOL
a great choka about lost love...
when i first saw the first picture
i thought it may be about dv...
love that second picture
walking in the rain is comforting...
nice work -
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
Comment Written 15-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023
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what is dv?
Thank you, Shelley, I appreciate your kind review. Have a wonderful day.
Gypsy hugs
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domestic violence
