One Thousand Cranes
Viewing comments for Chapter 293 "The Masterpiece"Gypsy's Favorites
13 total reviews
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Reina Gitana,
the title is the perfect frame to encompassed tantalising words, allowing thoughts to dwell within the sombre story of this beautifully presented Gogyohka.
I believe this style allows you to breathe into your magic and form of composition.
I just loved the way you set this tale of woe up... you had me from 'wandering on the dark side'... but, the alliteration amidst 'bluebirds
basking beneath'
sugar maple trees
away from cold-blooded snakes.
Yes, delicious!
Everything flowed so wonderfully in the scheme you intended. To bring the tone back into perspective with your last verse, elevated this poem for me. It left me with a warm feeling and knowing of its complete truth.
But a loving voice
from within said...
"You are beautiful as you are."
And she felt loved.
He said, "You are my masterpiece!"
Mother source said... smile(((((((((((((.
It only me being me and wanting the 'he' to be gender neutral... but if I was truthful, it would be 'She', as life is created within the womb. Much like our universe births the stars, planets and galaxies.
The other taste's of male ego as to control, but that's me. God is God, and I am here to serve.
But in saying my piece... well, rant, your use of 'He' fitted perfectly within the theme of your story, and the beauty of its intention.
Yes, please forgive the rant!
I loved this poem... and dedicated to Helen, that made it even more special. What a wonderful friend you are!
With our thoughts we create...
the gratitude of our form.
Warm regards,
James-Santiago
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2023
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Hi Reina Gitana,
the title is the perfect frame to encompassed tantalising words, allowing thoughts to dwell within the sombre story of this beautifully presented Gogyohka.
I believe this style allows you to breathe into your magic and form of composition.
I just loved the way you set this tale of woe up... you had me from 'wandering on the dark side'... but, the alliteration amidst 'bluebirds
basking beneath'
sugar maple trees
away from cold-blooded snakes.
Yes, delicious!
Everything flowed so wonderfully in the scheme you intended. To bring the tone back into perspective with your last verse, elevated this poem for me. It left me with a warm feeling and knowing of its complete truth.
But a loving voice
from within said...
"You are beautiful as you are."
And she felt loved.
He said, "You are my masterpiece!"
Mother source said... smile(((((((((((((.
It only me being me and wanting the 'he' to be gender neutral... but if I was truthful, it would be 'She', as life is created within the womb. Much like our universe births the stars, planets and galaxies.
The other taste's of male ego as to control, but that's me. God is God, and I am here to serve.
But in saying my piece... well, rant, your use of 'He' fitted perfectly within the theme of your story, and the beauty of its intention.
Yes, please forgive the rant!
I loved this poem... and dedicated to Helen, that made it even more special. What a wonderful friend you are!
With our thoughts we create...
the gratitude of our form.
Warm regards,
James-Santiago
Comment Written 14-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2023
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James Santiago... I love it. Your reviews mean a lot to me and I appreciate them so much. I love how you pour your intuitive and heartfelt feed back, that I take to heart.
Thank you for the exceptional six stars review, the second one today, what a treat. I know you understand walking in the dark side, you can't understand Light, if you don't know the dark. As always, you amazingly know what I mean, Helen is like that too, and yes, she is a wonderful friend, as you are.
Good night, James Santiago, it's 8:35 pm in California
Besitos y abrazos
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi MariVal,
You told a sad story that ended happily. Her love affair ended, but it seems a new one with God has started.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Have a great day.
Joan
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
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Hi MariVal,
You told a sad story that ended happily. Her love affair ended, but it seems a new one with God has started.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Have a great day.
Joan
Comment Written 13-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
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Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.
Gypsy
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You are most welcome on all accounts, MariVal.
Joan
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Oh, so true. We are all God's masterpiece and He is unable to create ugly. Thank you for sharing your words of wisdom in this beautiful well written poem. I enjoyed reading.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
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Oh, so true. We are all God's masterpiece and He is unable to create ugly. Thank you for sharing your words of wisdom in this beautiful well written poem. I enjoyed reading.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
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So happy you liked it.
Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.
Gypsy
Comment from Mike Stevens
Another fine poem, Gypsy----and self-image is the most powerful force that effects everything we do and is the cause of so much mental angst in our lives
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
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Another fine poem, Gypsy----and self-image is the most powerful force that effects everything we do and is the cause of so much mental angst in our lives
Comment Written 13-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
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Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.
Gypsy
Comment from JSD
An excellent poem with a clear message and some great turns of phrase. I find the symbolism of the first stanza the most effective. The whole thing is more redolent of medieval/courtly imagery than Christian, almost a Lady of the Lake poem. Thank you. John
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
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An excellent poem with a clear message and some great turns of phrase. I find the symbolism of the first stanza the most effective. The whole thing is more redolent of medieval/courtly imagery than Christian, almost a Lady of the Lake poem. Thank you. John
Comment Written 13-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
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I'm not believer of just one religion, I believe most religions share a message of love. I guess im more of an interfaith believer. I tried not to do it overly religious but I do believe in Jesus and his teachings.
Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.
Gypsy
Comment from Cindy Decker 2
Gypsy,
This is a nice dedication to Helen.
I like that your poem transcends what is physical beauty, to beauty within. And that the woman is still pretty to the one who counts.
Nice work, Gypsy,
Good luck.
Cindy
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
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Gypsy,
This is a nice dedication to Helen.
I like that your poem transcends what is physical beauty, to beauty within. And that the woman is still pretty to the one who counts.
Nice work, Gypsy,
Good luck.
Cindy
Comment Written 13-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
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Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.
Gypsy
Comment from shelley kaye
ooh a gogyohka suite! and a good one!
i like how you put the "stages" with each verse and ending on a positive, hopeful note
cool pics, too
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
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ooh a gogyohka suite! and a good one!
i like how you put the "stages" with each verse and ending on a positive, hopeful note
cool pics, too
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
Comment Written 13-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
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Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.
Gypsy
Comment from GWHARGIS
I liked this one. Love that she finally saw herself through God's eyes. She heard His voice and thought past the immediate hurt. Love this kind of message. We are all beautiful. Maybe we are packaged different, but if you are good and loving, it shines through. Great poem. Great message. Gretchen
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
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I liked this one. Love that she finally saw herself through God's eyes. She heard His voice and thought past the immediate hurt. Love this kind of message. We are all beautiful. Maybe we are packaged different, but if you are good and loving, it shines through. Great poem. Great message. Gretchen
Comment Written 13-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
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Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from royowen
Isn't God wonderful, He thinks of us the same as His Son, we are His treasure, we are valued, we are beyond worth, this is a lovely work dear Gypsy, you are so good and a good scribe, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
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Isn't God wonderful, He thinks of us the same as His Son, we are His treasure, we are valued, we are beyond worth, this is a lovely work dear Gypsy, you are so good and a good scribe, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 13-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
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Roy,
Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.
Gypsy hugs
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Most welcome
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
In that moment all thoughts of suicide are gone and sometimes all we need is to preserve our self esteem to carry on and enjoy life. Some relationships destroy us from the inside, a gentle and subtle write, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
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In that moment all thoughts of suicide are gone and sometimes all we need is to preserve our self esteem to carry on and enjoy life. Some relationships destroy us from the inside, a gentle and subtle write, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 13-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
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Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.
Gypsy hugs