Ancient Art of Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Bread Please"A compilation of poems
10 total reviews
Comment from JSD
Jeez. Excellent. Just love your turn of phrase. Amazing stuff. So many original uses of language. For me, this is what poetry should do. Each word makes me think or gasp at its aptness. Great alliteration at times. And lovely internal rhyme: rotting - totters. (Just don't forget the apostrophe on 'child's' - speaks the ex-English teacher!) John
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
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Jeez. Excellent. Just love your turn of phrase. Amazing stuff. So many original uses of language. For me, this is what poetry should do. Each word makes me think or gasp at its aptness. Great alliteration at times. And lovely internal rhyme: rotting - totters. (Just don't forget the apostrophe on 'child's' - speaks the ex-English teacher!) John
Comment Written 13-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023
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Thank you again. I'm so truly honored and I am truly honored for sure. Humboldt has never expected such a fine reception thank you again I will be smiling for days!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is a very powerful acrostic verse here, Lea! Your sentiments are justifiably shocking and impactful. This is no space to mince words because the tragedy of starvation in our world so often gets forgotten. Your second line in particular strikes at the heart. Your image of parched, sterile land cleverly resembles baked bread and further reinforces the plea for this foodstuff. Thanks for sharing such a strongly felt verse. Take care Debbie. PS Lea I wonder if I could ask you what date this was posted for the contest and whether it was one of those 24 hours' notice one - am trying to track down an errant entry! Dx
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2023
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This is a very powerful acrostic verse here, Lea! Your sentiments are justifiably shocking and impactful. This is no space to mince words because the tragedy of starvation in our world so often gets forgotten. Your second line in particular strikes at the heart. Your image of parched, sterile land cleverly resembles baked bread and further reinforces the plea for this foodstuff. Thanks for sharing such a strongly felt verse. Take care Debbie. PS Lea I wonder if I could ask you what date this was posted for the contest and whether it was one of those 24 hours' notice one - am trying to track down an errant entry! Dx
Comment Written 12-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2023
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Yeah unfortunately the contest closed really quickly and like a day. So you're correct was one of those 24 hour jobs. Thank you so much for your comments and for the original reviews I appreciate it! Are they love it there's knowing between funny how things work like that. Thank you again for your insight and your kind comments and I hope that your evening is great!
Comment from thoughtgame2
This is a very realistic approach of the world we live in today and the senseless troubles we have put upon ourselves for what? This would definitely be my 400-dollar question. I see clearly what you are trying to explain in this poem. I don't know about anyone else, but it touches me personally. Thank you, friend. Have a great life.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2023
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This is a very realistic approach of the world we live in today and the senseless troubles we have put upon ourselves for what? This would definitely be my 400-dollar question. I see clearly what you are trying to explain in this poem. I don't know about anyone else, but it touches me personally. Thank you, friend. Have a great life.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2023
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Thank you so very much I'm glad do got something out of this pond and that you and those like yourself. Definitely have a tuning fork into this world. I thank you for your insight your review and your kind comments! I hope you have the best of days and thank you again!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
It is such a pity that in some parts of the world people are still starving and begging for a loaf of bread, it seems we have not conquered famine through history, a fine acrostic for the contest, I love your message here, love Dolly z
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2023
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It is such a pity that in some parts of the world people are still starving and begging for a loaf of bread, it seems we have not conquered famine through history, a fine acrostic for the contest, I love your message here, love Dolly z
Comment Written 11-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2023
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Thank you Dolly I always appreciate your comments and your review glad you like this one!
Thanks again! Enjoy your day!
Comment from Regina Elliott
Oh my gosh, as one who
is active in hunger relief, I'm
extremely impressed with the
penning of this great humanitarian poem. Your
message is taken deeply by
my heart and soul. Many of
God's blessings to you. ~
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2023
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Oh my gosh, as one who
is active in hunger relief, I'm
extremely impressed with the
penning of this great humanitarian poem. Your
message is taken deeply by
my heart and soul. Many of
God's blessings to you. ~
Comment Written 11-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2023
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Thank you again! Have a great day!
Comment from Lisasview
Good use of sentence for your Acrostic poem...
and, so sad....... and so very true...
Difficult content to read but everyone should as they really all need to know what is actually going on...
Lisa, new to the site
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2023
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Good use of sentence for your Acrostic poem...
and, so sad....... and so very true...
Difficult content to read but everyone should as they really all need to know what is actually going on...
Lisa, new to the site
Comment Written 11-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2023
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Hi Lisa thank you so much for your kind review and welcome! I appreciate all your comments and kind thoughts! Hope your day is grand!
Comment from Mintybee
The idea behind this poem is excellent. The repetition of "bread please," which is also the acrostic, really emphasizes the plea. Making each line a different, hungry perspective was interesting. However, the wording and punctuation made many of the lines read awkwardly, which was distracting, and undercut the emotion. For example, this line, "Laments the soldier slogs winters grasp, bread please." I'm not sure if the lamenting soldier is slogging, or if winter is, or how the soldier and the winter relate to each other. I think this needs some polish, but I think it's a really good concept.
Mintybee
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2023
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The idea behind this poem is excellent. The repetition of "bread please," which is also the acrostic, really emphasizes the plea. Making each line a different, hungry perspective was interesting. However, the wording and punctuation made many of the lines read awkwardly, which was distracting, and undercut the emotion. For example, this line, "Laments the soldier slogs winters grasp, bread please." I'm not sure if the lamenting soldier is slogging, or if winter is, or how the soldier and the winter relate to each other. I think this needs some polish, but I think it's a really good concept.
Mintybee
Comment Written 10-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2023
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Thank you so much for your kind review and for your thoughts and your suggestions. For your time too I appreciate very much thanks again!
Comment from ImaginosBuzzardoDesdinova
A fearfully melancholy poem. It touches the heart as I think of the hunger so many people face in this world. The change in climate, and I don't just mean meteorology, is affecting us not only in what Food we get for our bodies, but in how we nourish our spirit.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2023
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A fearfully melancholy poem. It touches the heart as I think of the hunger so many people face in this world. The change in climate, and I don't just mean meteorology, is affecting us not only in what Food we get for our bodies, but in how we nourish our spirit.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2023
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Absolutely and completely agree. Your insight is very much interesting. I thank you so much for your review and your kind comments too. I hope you have a fabulous evening and thank you again!
Comment from Dr. Nad
THIS IS A VERY CREATIVE ACROSTIC POEM THAT EMPHASIZES WITH CLARITY THE NEED ACROSS THE WORLD FOR FOOD. IT REMINDS US AT WHATEVER WALK IN LIFE WE FIND OURSELVES THERE ARE THOSE WHO ARE LOOKING FOR BREAD. JOB WELL DONE. THANKS!
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2023
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THIS IS A VERY CREATIVE ACROSTIC POEM THAT EMPHASIZES WITH CLARITY THE NEED ACROSS THE WORLD FOR FOOD. IT REMINDS US AT WHATEVER WALK IN LIFE WE FIND OURSELVES THERE ARE THOSE WHO ARE LOOKING FOR BREAD. JOB WELL DONE. THANKS!
Comment Written 10-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2023
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Thank you so much I'm so glad you liked it. I tried to import a message and it looks like it's there! I appreciate your insight and your time and for your fine review and you're fine rating you have given me I appreciate it and I hope your evening is great!
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You are most welcome!
Comment from Andrea Kepple
I love how you put this poem together. The running theme of "break please" repeated like a refrain throughout the poem ending with a poignant coda at the end.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2023
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I love how you put this poem together. The running theme of "break please" repeated like a refrain throughout the poem ending with a poignant coda at the end.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2023
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I'm so glad you liked it a private message and looks like it's gone through in spades! Thank you for your insight for your kind comments and your fine writing. I appreciate it very much and I hope your evening is great!
