Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

Great fun! And with a funny twist at the end. Your prose reads well. Ideally I would have had larger font and better spacing between paragraphs (always good for keeping the reader engaged even in a short story). I wouldn't have put a comma after oxfords and might have put that word in inverted commas to make the sense a little clearer. Again I might have put 'ten or under rides' in inverted commas. Just personal thoughts that for me would have improved readability. But, all in all a great story in this very limited word count flash. Thanks for sharing, Michelle, and Good Luck! Debbie

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2023

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reply by the author on 10-Jun-2023

Thank you so much. My first reply to you didn't go through so I want to emphasize that your comments are so helpful and appreciated because they are specific.

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

These days a 10 year old is likely to say that! Although, thankfully my Granddaughter hasn't learned any bad language yet! You made me smile with this inventive write Michelle, love the humour here, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2023

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reply by the author on 10-Jun-2023

I agree and how sad. I appreciate your love for the humour.