I shrugged it off
Man has a premonition. He didn't listen. Bad thing happened.6 total reviews
Comment from Laurel Kemp
I think you told a great, mysterious story in the allotted 20 syllables. I like that we are left wondering what really happened. The most spine tingling part is that you elude to the subject still be tortured by the sounds of screams due to his detrimental decision to ignore the premonition. Really good work!
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2023
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I think you told a great, mysterious story in the allotted 20 syllables. I like that we are left wondering what really happened. The most spine tingling part is that you elude to the subject still be tortured by the sounds of screams due to his detrimental decision to ignore the premonition. Really good work!
Comment Written 10-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2023
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Thank you!!
Comment from darkmoonbaby
Bryce,
This is a well-written piece. I think it is a great entry for the contest and I wish you the best of luck. This could be a great piece to build off of in the future.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2023
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Bryce,
This is a well-written piece. I think it is a great entry for the contest and I wish you the best of luck. This could be a great piece to build off of in the future.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2023
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Thank you!!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
There is a strong message here about listening to premonitions that we so often disregard. A haunting theme neatly contained within this 20 syllable word count. Well done and good luck! Also congrats on your first milestone! Debbie
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2023
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There is a strong message here about listening to premonitions that we so often disregard. A haunting theme neatly contained within this 20 syllable word count. Well done and good luck! Also congrats on your first milestone! Debbie
Comment Written 08-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2023
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Thank you!!
Comment from Alina Clemens
Oof! Hits you right there! The short statements really help to drive the story in bluntly which makes that ending even more poignant. It's tough to do a lot in 20 syllables but you pulled it off, well done! And welcome to fanstory!
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2023
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Oof! Hits you right there! The short statements really help to drive the story in bluntly which makes that ending even more poignant. It's tough to do a lot in 20 syllables but you pulled it off, well done! And welcome to fanstory!
Comment Written 08-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2023
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Thank you!!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I don't think I have ever had a dream like this before and it I did I would be scared of the outcome. A poignant write for the contest, I wish you luck, love Dolly x x x
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I don't think I have ever had a dream like this before and it I did I would be scared of the outcome. A poignant write for the contest, I wish you luck, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 07-Jun-2023
Comment from patcelaw
This is a good 20 sellable poem that you have written as your first post on fan story. I would like to wish you the very best with all of your writing here. I do hope you will write more and share with us Patricia.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2023
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This is a good 20 sellable poem that you have written as your first post on fan story. I would like to wish you the very best with all of your writing here. I do hope you will write more and share with us Patricia.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2023
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Thank you!!