Comment from Andrea Kepple

Excellent

A wonderful poem to honor your late husband. The only thing I'm not sure of is the line "Nnt long late on a". I'm assuming that "Nnt" is supposed to be "Not". It's such a minor thing to see in a poem that otherwise I think is a wonderful expression of your feelings for your late husband.

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2023

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reply by the author on 21-Jun-2023

Thank you so much, Andrea.
I really appreciate your
generous review and 5 stars.
May you have an inspirational and creative
Wednesday.

Comment from Tom Horonzy

Excellent

I saw Debbie's post on you, and I figured you must live somewhere near Myra and I (Green Creek Community) between Tryon and Forest City. Now I feel more sure with the mention of the Vanderbults' cabin. Be well. Tom H

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2023

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reply by the author on 11-Jun-2023

Hi Tom, I live close to Asheville, NC. in Fletcher, NC
If the traffic is moving smoothly it only takes about
30 minutes to get to the
Biltmore Estate. The greater
Asheville area has had a
population increase over the
past 10 years. Many people
have moved from the highly
taxed states NY and New Jersey to here. There's been
more apartment and condos
construction. Thank you so
much for the 5 stars, very
much appreciate it. All the
best to you and yours. ~

reply by Tom Horonzy on 11-Jun-2023

Is the density increase a plus or minus.
My fear will be if their progressive ideas and taxes traveled with the move-ins. I know in our cuontry, the equestrian set expects more of government. They want to disrupt what the locals had for ... ever. Be well.

Comment from WalkerMan

Exceptional

Thank you for sharing this story in a poem about your late husband -- a veteran and superb father to his daughter and grandfather to her children. They will cherish this remembrance they can read again and again.

Superbly written and aptly illustrated. -- Mike

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2023

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reply by the author on 11-Jun-2023

Thank you so much, Mike.
I really appreciate the 6 stars.
Our Sailor Dad & granddad is
greatly missed. On his military white headstone are
the words, "Forever Paw-Paw
I hope you have a good
Sunday, and a creative
upcoming week.

reply by WalkerMan on 11-Jun-2023

You are most welcome. I understand how it feels to lose a spouse. If you have not seen it, here is what I wrote about mine --
"Midnight Moonrise 1 & 2":
https://www.fanstory.com/displaystory.jsp?hd=1&id=939543
(Reviewing is optional, though your opinion would be welcome.)

Thank you for the well wishes. May your fond memories be your solace. :)) -- Mike

Comment from Mary Vigasin

Excellent

A beautiful tribute to your husband, both as a man, husband, and father. I truly enjoyed meeting him in your well-written and loving rhyme.
Good luck in the contest.
My very best wishes,
Mary

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2023

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reply by the author on 11-Jun-2023

Thank you so much, Mary,
for your kind and thoughtful
review, and the 5 stars. Mike
is so very missed. I hope you
have a lovely Sunday.

Comment from Michelle D. Carr

Good

How beautiful and the sincerely of the tribute brought tears to my eyes. Sometimes I had to search for the rhyming because the meter seemed off at times. I was advised to read whatever I write aloud to hear it's flow. The way you moved from one part to the next of life's stages was perfect. Thank you for sharing this.

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2023

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reply by the author on 11-Jun-2023

Thank you so much, Michelle
Thank you for the honesty in
your review. I'm going to see
if I can shorten some of the
lines. Have a lovely Sunday.

Comment from Sally Law

Excellent

Thank you so much for sharing about your sailor dad/paw paw, on the high seas. I did not really know my father and my heavenly father has become my dad. I had a good friend, thought that her father became a father to me which was really nice.

Sending you my best today as always and my very best for the upcoming contest.
Sally :))

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2023

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reply by the author on 11-Jun-2023

Thank you so much, Sally, you're so thoughtful. So glad
you had a friend's father to
step up to the plate as a
father for you. May you have
a lovely Sunday.

Comment from Raul1

Excellent

This poem meets the rules for the contest. It's beautifully written. The sentences flow with clarity. Excellent work! No mistakes found. I like it. Thank you for sharing! Good luck in the contest!

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2023

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reply by the author on 11-Jun-2023

Thank you so much, Raul,
you're one of the bright lights
on FanStory. I really appreciate the 5 stars. Have
a lovely Sunday of creativity.

Comment from Aussie

Excellent

With respect, I would drop 'newly minted in the navy' it stops the flow and doesn't follow rhyme. The rhyming doesn't follow an AABB or another; You could shave a lot of words from this and still have a good poem. Only because you have said 'This is a rhyme poem. Kxx Make it a freestyle?

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2023

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reply by the author on 11-Jun-2023

Hello Aussie, thank you so
much for your honest review.
I'm going to tweak the poem
to improve it. I hope you're
having a lovely Sunday. Many
blessings

Comment from Mintybee

Good

This poem tells the lovely story of your late husband. The story was easy to follow. The visual is striking. The rhyme scheme changes unexpectedly and often, which was distracting. The stanza breaks make sense, as each contains a part of the story.
Mintybee

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2023

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reply by the author on 11-Jun-2023

Hello Mintybee, thank you
so much for the 4 star review
I'm going to try and tweak
the lines. May you have a
lovely and blessed Sunday.

Comment from jake cosmos aller

Excellent

powerful and moving tribute to your late husband. I like how the story flowed and liked how you portrayed his character who comes to life through your sublime words

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2023

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reply by the author on 11-Jun-2023

thank you so much Jake.
Mike is so very missed.
I really appreciate the 5 stars.
All the best to you.