Reviews from

Be Wee With Bea Part 3

Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Billie bear"
Third in a series is quite sad in the beginning.

11 total reviews 
Comment from judith layne jerdé
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Liz, I thought I started a comment on your story Billie Bear but I think I lost it forgive me if I'm repeating myself. I found you story very poignant. I a listened to it a couple of times and on the surface it felt like an interesting story about the secret life of bears. The second time I listened it revealed so much more to what you were saying. Loss is one of the most difficult challenges we face. In your remarks you talked about seeing the light at the end of the tunnel after what sounds like a difficult time in your life. If you have a chance read my poem Shades of My Grief, it's about the losses in my life that have impacted me the most

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 22-Jun-2023
    Thank you for your involved review. I certainly will check out that poem. I have a feeling it will speak volumes to me.
Comment from Lea Tonin1
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Liz! Wonderfully written...I truly enjoy your approach to this autobiography. I might be way off but this may very well lend itself two a children's series designed to teach morals and ethics.
It's sad when those things that impact us are so gravely engraved and so character changing on events like this. The wish to share with others is prevalent and it is heartbreaking when only indifference or lack of interest is shown.
Very well received this message clear and concise with a great set of characters using the bears as stand ins. Very clever! I see no issues with grammar at all. It's a great and much appreciated by me good luck And I wish you a great day!

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 12-Jun-2023
    Thank you for your delightful review. I'm glad you are enjoying it. This is the 3rd part of my autobiographical allegory for grades, 4+ & age 9+ . Two of them are already on Amazon etc. This actually pretty well follows my life...lol. Billie bear is my nun mate in the convent. I was there 28 years, she stayed about 5 or 6 years.
Comment from Douglas Goff
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Cute names and locations.

A couple of fine tunes:

This sentence messed with the perfect flow you had going:

She speculated maybe previously, older unhappy bears bullied these bears when they were novices. (Maybe needs the word 'that'?)

Also "had had" can be grammatically correct but is an awkward sentence structure and nearly always pulls your reader out of the story. Think about how you considered it as you wrote this story. Your readers do the same thing.

Just my two cents.

Great piece of work, author!
D


 Comment Written 11-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 11-Jun-2023
    Thank you for your involved review. It's interesting you say I should add 'that'. I was told I use 'that' too much. I will revisit your observations. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
reply by Douglas Goff on 11-Jun-2023
    I'm not sure if 'that' would do it. I have been advised on overusing them as well. I am an avid reader ( 3 to 4 books a week, and recognize flow issues immediately.

    The piece is great, Ignore my two cents if you disagree, I only make suggestions, my friend!
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2023
    I do appreciate your 2 cents...do not stop. When I checked on my chrome book how many times I used 'that' unnecarily. Out of 5000 words, I used 349 'that's' Let's say, I had a bit of a problem
reply by Douglas Goff on 12-Jun-2023
    Ha! I am the same. I am a ? that? madman.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2023
    ***LOL***
Comment from Mario PIERRE
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Another great chapter in the Bea saga! I thoroughly enjoyed it, just as I enjoyed the chapters I reviewed a while back. You are so consistent in your writing and the parallel or allegory you make to human nature is well perceived here. Who would know there were bullies in the bear kingdom?
Very solid literature indeed!

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 09-Jun-2023
    Thank you for the delightful review. It made me smile. I would give this review 6 stars.
Comment from Melodie Michelle
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Excellent storyline however I have one suggestion and that would be to single space between lines and double space between paragraphs. It would make it a lot easier to read my friend!

Thanks for sharing and may God bless you!

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 09-Jun-2023
    Thank you for your suggestion in your review.
reply by Melodie Michelle on 09-Jun-2023
    ;-)
Comment from Ulla
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Hi Liz, bullying is never okay. And through Bea's story we get to learn that bullying is not reserved by the youngsters. Older bears are as bad as among humans. Billie and Bea have a lot going for them. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 07-Jun-2023
    Thank you for your involved review. I guess it must be related to some past life thing.I've been bullied since I was 3 and only left the bullying scene when I was 'let go' from work. We has several bullies where I worked. When people say, what can I do? I have to say, I cannot help them. But they never pulled me down. So I learned something in this lifetime.
Comment from aryr
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What a great continuation chapter, Liz. This was very well done, it showed the belief of the bears. Bea and Billie bear had a whole lot going for them. Prominent was the fact that the older bears tended to be bullies. Great job, well done and greatly enjoyed. Blessings n Hugs!!

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 04-Jun-2023
    Thank you for your involved review. It actually
    mirrors Michele, my nunmate, & me beginning in the convent together at age 19, in 1965.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
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Bullying is never okay and is absolutely no way to teach anybody anything. Thank you for sharing.

They were going to be learning how to talk better to the maker. (active not passive - They were going to learn how to talk better to the maker. )

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 04-Jun-2023
    Thank you for your involved review. It actually
    mirrors Michele, my nunmate, & me beginning in the convent together at age 19, in 1965.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Excellent
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Another excellent chapter outlining Bea's journey to bring herself and her charges to that revelation and light at the end of the tunnel. She's frustrated by the challenges that confront her, in particular the bullying ( I love the black stinging bees imagery) and the brain exercises of mindfulness are just not working as she wants. The chapter finishes with upset and sadness. It was never going to be easy and shouldn't be. Thanks for sharing. Debbie

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 04-Jun-2023
    Thank you for your delightful review. This actually mirrors Michele, my nunmate, & me beginning in the convent together at age 19, in 1965.
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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Thanks for giving us the backstory about Bea and Billie and how they experienced the very unkind bully bears who did not appear to be changed by talking to the Maker. That's so sad indeed.
I liked this:
"She speculated maybe previously, older unhappy bears bullied these bears when they were novices."
That shows how compassionate Bea is because she looked for a reason for the bullying behavior. But even though Bea was bullied she didn't revert to that behavior.

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 Comment Written 03-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 04-Jun-2023
    Thank you for your involved review. It actually
    mirrors Michele, my nunmate, & me beginning in the convent together at age 19, in 1965.
reply by lyenochka on 04-Jun-2023
    What a hard time you experienced! I'm glad you were able to glean much compassion despite all your went through.
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2023
    Thank you. This is why it was quite simple to write the 15th century time travel in my book The Tor.
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2023
    This is the next book I'm firming up. I started it over 20 years ago. My time before, during and after the 28years in the convent. Michele stayed about 5 years.
reply by lyenochka on 04-Jun-2023
    I can't believe you stayed for 28 years after all the bullying you received! My college friend stayed in the Trappist convent in AZ for ten years or more and asked for and received a transfer to Italy. She's been there for at least ten years. You really have to be devoted to the lifestyle. 💖
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2023
    I don't know what I was devoted to. I guess as with Bea, maybe I could effect some change. I was teaching, then volunteering working at the Women's Shelter for 30+ years. this come out in my next book.
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2023
    My memory is my father began bullying me at 3 so it is clearly a pattern in my life. That was the reason I got "let go" in my lkast job. I must say, it is nice not neing bullied, for the first time in my life. I loved working at the women's shelter, no bullying there, only love and admiration. It's clearly a oattern for me to have figured out how to overcome and not believe what was said. & I didn't. I hope Italy has been kinder to your friend.
reply by lyenochka on 04-Jun-2023
    It is a Trappist monastery so if there's any bullying, it is not done verbally. 😊
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2023
    Ooof...that group is like the Benedictine in my book. The Sister nuns were similar back in the 60's but relaxed greatly, very unlike monks and nuns, who I am sure are still extremely strict. Probably little bullying, life is very isolated.