One Man's Calling
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "One Man's Calling, Ch 17"Following God
8 total reviews
Comment from Jay Squires
Halelujah, my brother! You have created a great character with Ben, then removed him, turning your novel into a tragedy.
Such a powerful, DYNAMIC last sentence you nearly created, Wayne. I've read it through probably half-a-dozen times. I wonder if you noticed that the word "who'd" makes this a sentence fragment. Of course, they have their place, but usually short one's. I personally think that since this is the last sentence, and one that establishes the tone for the entire novel, it deserves to be a complete one.
That said, I don't want to take anything away from your monument of a novel. I downloaded this before we had our new supply of sixes. Now I find, today, that it won't let me use a six for it.
Jay
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2023
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Halelujah, my brother! You have created a great character with Ben, then removed him, turning your novel into a tragedy.
Such a powerful, DYNAMIC last sentence you nearly created, Wayne. I've read it through probably half-a-dozen times. I wonder if you noticed that the word "who'd" makes this a sentence fragment. Of course, they have their place, but usually short one's. I personally think that since this is the last sentence, and one that establishes the tone for the entire novel, it deserves to be a complete one.
That said, I don't want to take anything away from your monument of a novel. I downloaded this before we had our new supply of sixes. Now I find, today, that it won't let me use a six for it.
Jay
Comment Written 04-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2023
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Thank you. I'll look at who'd. I appreciate you note. And your great words of encouragement.
And the sixth star showed up. Thank you.
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Yes, strange things happen to FS's algorithm when you upload a story and let it sit on your bookshelf for two days before reading it.
Comment from Jim Wile
Great ending to a great story, Wayne. You wrapped things up very well as Ben has brought his mission to a successful conclusion for everyone he cared about (except for himself.) What an amazing impact this Christ-like figure had on the people around him, and his moral strength and kindness served as an example to many otherwise lost souls.
I love stories about heroes like Ben, and you did an admirable job with this one. I'm going to miss reading about him. Perhaps you will treat us occasionally to a short story featuring Ben from time to time? Jim
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2023
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Great ending to a great story, Wayne. You wrapped things up very well as Ben has brought his mission to a successful conclusion for everyone he cared about (except for himself.) What an amazing impact this Christ-like figure had on the people around him, and his moral strength and kindness served as an example to many otherwise lost souls.
I love stories about heroes like Ben, and you did an admirable job with this one. I'm going to miss reading about him. Perhaps you will treat us occasionally to a short story featuring Ben from time to time? Jim
Comment Written 04-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2023
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You swell me. Thank you.
Hang on, I'm having thoughts.
Thanks again and thank you for the six stars!
Comment from lyenochka
I'm guessing this is the final chapter? A moving tribute to Ben who fulfilled his calling. I like that you lightened the mood with the baby with "The calm was destroyed with joy spreading throughout in waves."
Great job with this Christian Western novella!
I wasn't quite sure about this sentence:
The next morning James delivered the sad news where Livvy nearly fell out.
("where" is referring to the time "next morning"? And "fell out" is odd to me but perhaps that's your dialect coming through.)
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2023
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I'm guessing this is the final chapter? A moving tribute to Ben who fulfilled his calling. I like that you lightened the mood with the baby with "The calm was destroyed with joy spreading throughout in waves."
Great job with this Christian Western novella!
I wasn't quite sure about this sentence:
The next morning James delivered the sad news where Livvy nearly fell out.
("where" is referring to the time "next morning"? And "fell out" is odd to me but perhaps that's your dialect coming through.)
Comment Written 04-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2023
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Thank you. And thank you for the six stars!
To 'fall out' is to collapse, to drop out of formation due to exhaustion, illness, or some other overwhelming condition.
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Ah. Thanks for that explanation. I only know the military marching use of "fall out" not of someone fainting.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
What a lovely end to your story of a great man who lived his life for God. You have the perfect ending to the story with all those who had felt the love of God through Ben.
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2023
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What a lovely end to your story of a great man who lived his life for God. You have the perfect ending to the story with all those who had felt the love of God through Ben.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2023
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Thank you for your kindness.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Hi Wayne, I've missed a bit out here so I was a bit shocked to learn of Ben's death. I didn't see that coming so this is all very sad but, given the eulogy, the empty coffin and the reaction of the congregation, all of whom seem to have been touched by him, he certainly has fulfilled God's work and has now joined him. Even Lovelace has been converted by the look of things! Thank you for sharing such a well expressed story inspired by faith. Debbie
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2023
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Hi Wayne, I've missed a bit out here so I was a bit shocked to learn of Ben's death. I didn't see that coming so this is all very sad but, given the eulogy, the empty coffin and the reaction of the congregation, all of whom seem to have been touched by him, he certainly has fulfilled God's work and has now joined him. Even Lovelace has been converted by the look of things! Thank you for sharing such a well expressed story inspired by faith. Debbie
Comment Written 03-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2023
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Thank you for your very kind review.
Ben killed Salinger and rid Colorado of the threat of opium, but died in the process.
Comment from Melodie Michelle
This well written prose was definitely will thought out and held my attention from beginning to end and the characters interacted professionally from starting place A through to ending place E!
I appreciate you sharing this work with all of us and may God also bless you and your family!
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2023
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This well written prose was definitely will thought out and held my attention from beginning to end and the characters interacted professionally from starting place A through to ending place E!
I appreciate you sharing this work with all of us and may God also bless you and your family!
Comment Written 03-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2023
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Thank you. I really appreciate your words.
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;-)
Comment from BethShelby
I don't know if this is the end of your story or not, but it seems a nice epilogue as those who were touched by Ben life were recognized. He did a lot in his life. and he wasnt't that old.
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2023
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I don't know if this is the end of your story or not, but it seems a nice epilogue as those who were touched by Ben life were recognized. He did a lot in his life. and he wasnt't that old.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2023
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Thank you. I enjoyed writing Ben.
Comment from Wendy G
A wonderful tribute to Ben and an appropriate one - and what an excellent ending with Demone Lovelace being transformed by the power of the gospel as well! I didn't expect that! Very well done. Great story.
Wendy
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2023
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A wonderful tribute to Ben and an appropriate one - and what an excellent ending with Demone Lovelace being transformed by the power of the gospel as well! I didn't expect that! Very well done. Great story.
Wendy
Comment Written 03-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2023
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Thank you. You are the best.