Memorial Day Poem
It is important.6 total reviews
Comment from tempeste
Ciao poet, you now have 3 votes
I can see you put a lot of effort into this poem that's why I voted for it.
That said some things you mention are incorrect.
Firstly, seeing all the wars/ battles you mentioned were fought in the 20th century, I think you should have placed them chronologically.
WW1 then WW2 followed by Korean War and last but not least the Vietnam War.
Secondly, The Vietnam War was fought mainly in the jungle and the soldiers were constantly drenched with water or sweat due to the heat, humidity, monsoon rains and muddy ground.
Those on patrol (sometimes weeks) ate canned food.
WW1 is sadly famous for having been fought in cold muddy trenches for weeks on end.
You wrote :
In the number of deaths in Vietnam, Americans won.
What did you mean here ?...America lost the war in Vietnam ..so do you mean America's death toll was more than that of the enemies???
I like the closing two lines.
I didn't know that soldiers suffered frostbite in the Korean War , so I learned something new.
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2023
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Ciao poet, you now have 3 votes
I can see you put a lot of effort into this poem that's why I voted for it.
That said some things you mention are incorrect.
Firstly, seeing all the wars/ battles you mentioned were fought in the 20th century, I think you should have placed them chronologically.
WW1 then WW2 followed by Korean War and last but not least the Vietnam War.
Secondly, The Vietnam War was fought mainly in the jungle and the soldiers were constantly drenched with water or sweat due to the heat, humidity, monsoon rains and muddy ground.
Those on patrol (sometimes weeks) ate canned food.
WW1 is sadly famous for having been fought in cold muddy trenches for weeks on end.
You wrote :
In the number of deaths in Vietnam, Americans won.
What did you mean here ?...America lost the war in Vietnam ..so do you mean America's death toll was more than that of the enemies???
I like the closing two lines.
I didn't know that soldiers suffered frostbite in the Korean War , so I learned something new.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2023
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Thanks! America's death toll was less. We pulled out of the Vietnam war.
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Tha's a nice way to say they lost the war in Vietnam.
Here is a link but you can google for yourself.
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Here are other sources
https://www.google.com.au/search?q=america+lost+the+war+in+Vietnma&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-au&client=safari
Comment from Andrea Kepple
Interesting construction for your poem. Covering the wars you mentioned out of sequence made me stop and think a little bit more than I would have if they had flowed in the sequence in which they were fought.
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2023
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Interesting construction for your poem. Covering the wars you mentioned out of sequence made me stop and think a little bit more than I would have if they had flowed in the sequence in which they were fought.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2023
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Thanks!
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Please take time to vote for entries, please read free verse entries and 575 entries.
Comment from Teri7
This is a very well written Memorial Day poem you have penned for the contest. You used very good descriptive and very true words. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
reply by the author on 31-May-2023
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This is a very well written Memorial Day poem you have penned for the contest. You used very good descriptive and very true words. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
Comment Written 31-May-2023
reply by the author on 31-May-2023
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Thanks!
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your poem started out good but tried to cover so
much, it became too general. The rhymes are ok
but war/afar don't rhyme.
Best wishes in the contest, Jan
May I suggest ~
There are so many men and women who have served in a war.
They all left their families and served in countries afar. [on distant shore]
All the soldiers left not knowing if they would come home again.
I know war life was sure difficult for these [ those ] women and men.
All the soldiers in Vietnam were able to sleep in their own bed.
Every day they ate hot meals; each soldier was well fed.
;sleep in their own beds??? in Vietnam???? ] well fed in the trenches in battle???'
In World War 1(,) some soldiers were trapped behind enemy lines.
A very effective anti-submarine weapon was [the use of mines.]
There were so many men; civilians too who lost their lives.
All the soldiers were great heroes to their children and wives.
In the Korean War, many soldiers had frostbitten toes.
Enemies will not always seen [ should this be see [ when the soldiers shot their foes.
US soldiers won the Battle of the Bulge, they did their best.
In the Arlington ;National Cemetery] cemetery, soldiers are[ laid ] put to rest.
The Tomb of the Uknown soldier honors soldiers who have died.
All of these soldiers [ soldiers' ] remains have not been identified.
In all of these wars, the soldiers fought hard, each and every one.
In the number of deaths in Vietnam, Americans won.[ confusing line ]
In Arlington, a monument honors those who gave their all.
All of the soldiers [ soldiers' [ names are written on a black granite wall.
reply by the author on 31-May-2023
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Your poem started out good but tried to cover so
much, it became too general. The rhymes are ok
but war/afar don't rhyme.
Best wishes in the contest, Jan
May I suggest ~
There are so many men and women who have served in a war.
They all left their families and served in countries afar. [on distant shore]
All the soldiers left not knowing if they would come home again.
I know war life was sure difficult for these [ those ] women and men.
All the soldiers in Vietnam were able to sleep in their own bed.
Every day they ate hot meals; each soldier was well fed.
;sleep in their own beds??? in Vietnam???? ] well fed in the trenches in battle???'
In World War 1(,) some soldiers were trapped behind enemy lines.
A very effective anti-submarine weapon was [the use of mines.]
There were so many men; civilians too who lost their lives.
All the soldiers were great heroes to their children and wives.
In the Korean War, many soldiers had frostbitten toes.
Enemies will not always seen [ should this be see [ when the soldiers shot their foes.
US soldiers won the Battle of the Bulge, they did their best.
In the Arlington ;National Cemetery] cemetery, soldiers are[ laid ] put to rest.
The Tomb of the Uknown soldier honors soldiers who have died.
All of these soldiers [ soldiers' ] remains have not been identified.
In all of these wars, the soldiers fought hard, each and every one.
In the number of deaths in Vietnam, Americans won.[ confusing line ]
In Arlington, a monument honors those who gave their all.
All of the soldiers [ soldiers' [ names are written on a black granite wall.
Comment Written 31-May-2023
reply by the author on 31-May-2023
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War/ afar does to rhyme. This is a great poem!
Comment from Mario PIERRE
Great poem indeed. A very important hommage to our fallen men and women soldiers, the humble guardian of our countries. One should never forget the sacrificial way in which they engage and give their lives for us to walk free and be safe. Your poem is strong and very well crafted.
reply by the author on 31-May-2023
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Great poem indeed. A very important hommage to our fallen men and women soldiers, the humble guardian of our countries. One should never forget the sacrificial way in which they engage and give their lives for us to walk free and be safe. Your poem is strong and very well crafted.
Comment Written 31-May-2023
reply by the author on 31-May-2023
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Thanks!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A fine post to commemorate Memorial day and we all praise our soldiers as they fight for freedom and we never forget their bravery, good luck with the contest, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 31-May-2023
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A fine post to commemorate Memorial day and we all praise our soldiers as they fight for freedom and we never forget their bravery, good luck with the contest, love Dolly x
Comment Written 31-May-2023
reply by the author on 31-May-2023
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Thanks! Please take time to vote on the 321 and antonym poems.
