Thieving Sound
A lonely rendezvous33 total reviews
Comment from Ric Myworld
Yes, sometimes dreams are better than real life. And I for one don't have an alarm and never have. If I'm going to startled awake, it's going to be exciting than a ringy dingy. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 28-May-2023
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Yes, sometimes dreams are better than real life. And I for one don't have an alarm and never have. If I'm going to startled awake, it's going to be exciting than a ringy dingy. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 25-May-2023
reply by the author on 28-May-2023
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lol Thank you, Ric! Yes, that would be a much nicer start to one?s day- agreed!
Xo
Jessica
Comment from royowen
How sad is this? There's a few who have lost their husbands to illness, or simply age. There's a fair few who've Lost dear ones at our church, I've written a few poems honouring them. Beautifully written, good luck, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 26-May-2023
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How sad is this? There's a few who have lost their husbands to illness, or simply age. There's a fair few who've Lost dear ones at our church, I've written a few poems honouring them. Beautifully written, good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 25-May-2023
reply by the author on 26-May-2023
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Thank you, my friend!!
:)
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A pleasure
Comment from LisaMay
This is great writing! I enjoyed the depth of emotion contained within such brevity... from a languid romantic moment to the realisation it is a dream about a departed loved one. Those darn alarm clocks ruin many a wonderful moment, but this story ends on a deeply poignant note.
reply by the author on 26-May-2023
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This is great writing! I enjoyed the depth of emotion contained within such brevity... from a languid romantic moment to the realisation it is a dream about a departed loved one. Those darn alarm clocks ruin many a wonderful moment, but this story ends on a deeply poignant note.
Comment Written 25-May-2023
reply by the author on 26-May-2023
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Thank you so much! I appreciate your feedback, and I'm honored by the stars!:)
Xo Jessica
Comment from BethShelby
This is a bittersweet story. When they are gone, they still live in our dreams and sometime the alarm clock is the enemy that shatters a precious moment. This is a very written flash that should do well in the contest.
reply by the author on 25-May-2023
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This is a bittersweet story. When they are gone, they still live in our dreams and sometime the alarm clock is the enemy that shatters a precious moment. This is a very written flash that should do well in the contest.
Comment Written 25-May-2023
reply by the author on 25-May-2023
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Thank you! I appreciate your feedback!:)
Comment from Mario PIERRE
I like your post very much. It's nostalgic, sad and touching. I find the first opening sentences a little bit confusing though. Also, you say the blaring sound cut her words... we don't see the unfinished sentence there...
If it were me, I would have chosen to write it as:
Julia gazed lovingly at Marcus across the table, then laughed. He playfully lifted his eyebrows.
Julia whispered, "I Love you, hon--"
A blaring sound severed her words as.... etc...
It's just a humble suggestion. One last thing, in 50 words, having the word 'gaze' twice might be too much...? Maybe try to replace the second one with a synonym...contemplating or something else...
Anyway, I will vote for this one.
reply by the author on 25-May-2023
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I like your post very much. It's nostalgic, sad and touching. I find the first opening sentences a little bit confusing though. Also, you say the blaring sound cut her words... we don't see the unfinished sentence there...
If it were me, I would have chosen to write it as:
Julia gazed lovingly at Marcus across the table, then laughed. He playfully lifted his eyebrows.
Julia whispered, "I Love you, hon--"
A blaring sound severed her words as.... etc...
It's just a humble suggestion. One last thing, in 50 words, having the word 'gaze' twice might be too much...? Maybe try to replace the second one with a synonym...contemplating or something else...
Anyway, I will vote for this one.
Comment Written 25-May-2023
reply by the author on 25-May-2023
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Excellent suggestions. I've revised with them in mind. Thank you so much for your vote!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
The flash fiction story grabbed my interest and the dialogue is believable. It's a good entry for the 50 Word Flash writing prompt contest. It's kind of creepy.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
reply by the author on 25-May-2023
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The flash fiction story grabbed my interest and the dialogue is believable. It's a good entry for the 50 Word Flash writing prompt contest. It's kind of creepy.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
Comment Written 25-May-2023
reply by the author on 25-May-2023
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Thank you! I appreciate your feedback!:)
Comment from Sugarray77
So heartbreaking!!! You have done a good job in developing a vivid and interesting piece for this 50 Word Flash. Hard to do with such constraints. Well done and I wish you good luck in the contest!
Melissa
reply by the author on 25-May-2023
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So heartbreaking!!! You have done a good job in developing a vivid and interesting piece for this 50 Word Flash. Hard to do with such constraints. Well done and I wish you good luck in the contest!
Melissa
Comment Written 25-May-2023
reply by the author on 25-May-2023
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Thank you! I appreciate your feedback!:)
Comment from Ginda Simpson
Darn. You alarm clock did steal you from your dreams, where you were with the one you love. You tell us so much in your fifty words, of a love cherished and remembered, of a time when you were happy and then the alarm unkindly awakens you to the reality of loneliness. Well written flash. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 25-May-2023
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Darn. You alarm clock did steal you from your dreams, where you were with the one you love. You tell us so much in your fifty words, of a love cherished and remembered, of a time when you were happy and then the alarm unkindly awakens you to the reality of loneliness. Well written flash. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 25-May-2023
reply by the author on 25-May-2023
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Thank you, Ginda! I appreciate your feedback!:)
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Awww, this is sweet and sad and really causes the reader to feel for Julia. We don't know why he's gone; it doesn't matter - he's no longer with her.
Nice introduction with the tender moment, and I love how you give us a glimpse into Marcus' personality with the playfully lifted eyebrow.
Good luck with the contest.
Pam
reply by the author on 25-May-2023
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Awww, this is sweet and sad and really causes the reader to feel for Julia. We don't know why he's gone; it doesn't matter - he's no longer with her.
Nice introduction with the tender moment, and I love how you give us a glimpse into Marcus' personality with the playfully lifted eyebrow.
Good luck with the contest.
Pam
Comment Written 25-May-2023
reply by the author on 25-May-2023
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Thank you so much, Pam! I appreciate your feedback!:)
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A warm, loving and gentle flash fiction as our dreams are precious and this one was interrupted abruptly by reality, a fine flash fiction for the contest, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 25-May-2023
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A warm, loving and gentle flash fiction as our dreams are precious and this one was interrupted abruptly by reality, a fine flash fiction for the contest, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 25-May-2023
reply by the author on 25-May-2023
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Thank you Dolly! I appreciate your feedback!:)
