Reviews from

One Man's Calling

Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "One Man's Calling, Part A"
Following God

8 total reviews 
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well, even though Ben thinks his calling is completed, he seems to still be called to help teach, preach, and mentor troubled youth in jail. And he still has the energy to cast out demons silently in the power of the Holy Spirit.

Demones' chin bounced, (Demone's)

 Comment Written 26-May-2023


reply by the author on 26-May-2023
    Thank you for your very nice review. And for the catch.
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
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An excellent but sad chapter seeing how weakened Ben was. Understandable after all he had been through. Well written.
Wendy
Typo: "He'd known of course ....." ( not "He known)( fifth last paragraph)

 Comment Written 24-May-2023


reply by the author on 25-May-2023
    Thank you for your great review.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Excellent
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This is a good thing that Ben has time to rest and recover, although it doesn't seem like he is recovering quickly. He is, however, making himself a valuable member of the community. The sentence that begins--After they carefully tucked . . . seems to be missing a word or two.

 Comment Written 24-May-2023


reply by the author on 25-May-2023
    Thank you for your great review.
Comment from Jay Squires
Excellent
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Ben seems to be physically and psychologically distraught. Odd that he felt his mission was complete. I did have one question:

Ben blinked, releasing his grip. [I don't know whether what proceeded this needs explanation -- it's a judgment call -- but I saw nothing indicating that Ben received the gun that was pressed to his chest. Yet, from what else would he be releasing his grip?]

Good chapter, Wayne.

Jay



 Comment Written 24-May-2023


reply by the author on 24-May-2023
    Hmmm. I don't know. A sure sign that something needs fixed. thank you.
reply by the author on 24-May-2023
    Mental grip. Blinking released him.
Comment from Jim Wile
Excellent
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Seems like we're nearing the end now, but maybe not if Ben can rally. I'm enjoying the action and hearing about the concern the folks that know him have for him.

Is this the last we will see of Demone? If so, I'm not sure you really needed this character after all. I thought there would be more of a showdown with him, but perhaps it's still to come. I thought Salinger was a terrific villain, and I hope there's more to his story that gives him the punishment he so deserves.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There are just a couple of grammatical things:

"After being carefully tucked and wrapped into Ralph's rocker, Livvy, William and the Tolsens quieted, waiting Ben's story" makes it sound like Livvy, William, and the Tolsens were tucked and wrapped into the rocker.

Also, "Demone Lovelace saw Ben enter town, himself drawn to the street, an irresistible tugging whenever sensing Ben's presence" sounds to me like too much of an economy of words. "Demone Lovelace saw Ben enter town, himself drawn to the street by an irresistible tugging whenever he sensed Ben's presence" I think is a little more natural sounding.

 Comment Written 24-May-2023


reply by the author on 24-May-2023
    More of both antagonists to come. I think there're about 3 posts to go, depending on where I split them.
    Thank you for the tips.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
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There is always the evil culprit waiting in the wings to do harm to those who are trying to do good. But for those like me, just doing good was always a big enough struggle in itself. LOL. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 24-May-2023


reply by the author on 24-May-2023
    Thank you.
    Believe me, writing this was easier than trying to live it.
reply by Ric Myworld on 24-May-2023
    Yes, living it isn't easy for any of us, but it sure is worth the effort. :-)
reply by the author on 24-May-2023
    Gotta keep trying.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Ben's spirit is willing but his flesh is weak. I think he will recover but it just takes time. His work is not finished nor will it be as long as evil exists in the world. He will get better. Well done, Wayne. Nancy:)

 Comment Written 24-May-2023


reply by the author on 24-May-2023
    Thank you for your very nice review.
    And thank you immensely for the six stars!
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I was surprise to hear Ben say he believed his mission was fulfulled but then he awakes from a sound sleep knowing there is someone outside he needs to see. That encounter was odd. I the Lord must still be using him in spite of his delicate condition. I'm anxious to see where this goes from here. I hate to see people feeling sorry for him.

 Comment Written 24-May-2023


reply by the author on 24-May-2023
    Thank you for your kind review.
    I tried to keep clear of glamorizing heroism, but to write a more realistic person.