Viewing the World With Fresh Eyes
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Toughening Up"The fifteen Years of My Life
23 total reviews
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
I think I understand where your grandmother was coming from when she said, "don't ever depend on a man." Grandma didn't have good luck there!
Where you have "threat of a thunderstorms" - change to threat of thunderstorms or threat of a thunderstorm.
If I'd been picked up by a tornado, you wouldn't catch me outside in a storm, no matter how much I wanted to toughen up, lol!
"I was afraid OF heights"
Performing on stage, not preforming.
Congratulations to you for taking on this challenge at such an early age! I was in my 50s before I began to intentionally put myself into uncomfortable situations in order to get past my fear.
I like your last paragraph - good summation for the story you have written.
Good luck in this contest.
Pam
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2023
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I think I understand where your grandmother was coming from when she said, "don't ever depend on a man." Grandma didn't have good luck there!
Where you have "threat of a thunderstorms" - change to threat of thunderstorms or threat of a thunderstorm.
If I'd been picked up by a tornado, you wouldn't catch me outside in a storm, no matter how much I wanted to toughen up, lol!
"I was afraid OF heights"
Performing on stage, not preforming.
Congratulations to you for taking on this challenge at such an early age! I was in my 50s before I began to intentionally put myself into uncomfortable situations in order to get past my fear.
I like your last paragraph - good summation for the story you have written.
Good luck in this contest.
Pam
Comment Written 30-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2023
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Thank you, Pam. I think I was an odd kid who didn't have many examples of how to be normal. My world was mostly adults except when at school. I never told anyone I did this before I decided to write about it. My parents never knew. It seemed to work so I'm not sorry I did it, even thought it was a little weird.
Beth
Comment from lyenochka
Thank you so much for sharing about how you "toughened" yourself up through reading and daring to do things like attending the funeral even though you feared looking at dead bodies. That is really admirable. I was a sheltered kid, too, but it didn't occur to me to dare do those things. But you succeeded and impressed your husband by how mature you were! Best wishes in the contest!!
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2023
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Thank you so much for sharing about how you "toughened" yourself up through reading and daring to do things like attending the funeral even though you feared looking at dead bodies. That is really admirable. I was a sheltered kid, too, but it didn't occur to me to dare do those things. But you succeeded and impressed your husband by how mature you were! Best wishes in the contest!!
Comment Written 30-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2023
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Thank you Helen. I think I was an odd child who didn't exactly know how to be normal. I sure I was trying to be like someone I'd read about in a book who was brave. I never told anyone before that I did those things because they seem a little crazy.
Beth
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I was an odd child, too. Maybe odd children grow up to be writers?
Comment from patcelaw
I grew up in a homework. We had a little on almost no instruction about what to do or how to live or anything about things other than to be the little slaves around the house working in the garden doing the work around the house or just being quiet so that the adults could talk. I was loaded with a lot of responsibility as a 12-year-old and became responsible for not only myself and my three brothers but also I had to take care of the laundry for the family which was a big amount of laundry each week. All of this was without any thanks from my mother who would not even say thank you for a job we'll done. Because of this, I determined at a young age that I would not be a kid but I would go on to be an adult if I was given adult responsibilities. Therefore I did things in my teenagers that I'm not proud of. That one of the things that I do he came a tough person I am able to do the things that I need to do but I still have a very sensitive spot as well I cry rather easily. Patricia
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2023
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I grew up in a homework. We had a little on almost no instruction about what to do or how to live or anything about things other than to be the little slaves around the house working in the garden doing the work around the house or just being quiet so that the adults could talk. I was loaded with a lot of responsibility as a 12-year-old and became responsible for not only myself and my three brothers but also I had to take care of the laundry for the family which was a big amount of laundry each week. All of this was without any thanks from my mother who would not even say thank you for a job we'll done. Because of this, I determined at a young age that I would not be a kid but I would go on to be an adult if I was given adult responsibilities. Therefore I did things in my teenagers that I'm not proud of. That one of the things that I do he came a tough person I am able to do the things that I need to do but I still have a very sensitive spot as well I cry rather easily. Patricia
Comment Written 29-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2023
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I probably had too much time on my hands to worry about what might be wrong with me. It sounds like you grew up quick because you weren't allowed to be a kid. Parents aren't perfect and kids don't come with instruction books so we all make mistakes. I think we both turned out all right in spite of them. Thanks for the review.
Beth
Comment from humpwhistle
I can't say I relate to this story, Beth. But at ten years old I was a just a dumb boy and it never occurred to me to 'work' at being stronger, braver, or an 'er'. I was just a boy in the same way that a toadstool is a toadstool--although, a toadstool would probably blanche at the rude comparison.
You had guts. Literally torturing your body was probably misdirected, but you had a mission.
As I age, my childhood comes into sharper focus, too. Turns out, my difficulties all stemmed from adults. Maybe that's why I never wanted to have children.
Best of luck with the Committee, Beth.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2023
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I can't say I relate to this story, Beth. But at ten years old I was a just a dumb boy and it never occurred to me to 'work' at being stronger, braver, or an 'er'. I was just a boy in the same way that a toadstool is a toadstool--although, a toadstool would probably blanche at the rude comparison.
You had guts. Literally torturing your body was probably misdirected, but you had a mission.
As I age, my childhood comes into sharper focus, too. Turns out, my difficulties all stemmed from adults. Maybe that's why I never wanted to have children.
Best of luck with the Committee, Beth.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 29-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2023
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Thank you Lee. If I'd had a sibling or kids next door like you did, maybe I wouldn't have ended up a little weirdo who didn't want risk getting teased because I was too sensitive. I had too much time on my hands to think about what might be wrong with me and how to fix it. LOL I really appreciate the six stars. Not many people have six stars left this late in the week.
Beth
Comment from Jasmine Girl
You are super brave. You can face our fear head-on. I don't anyone as brave and determined as you are. I had a very different childhood than you were. You love of reading made you a writer while my tumultuous life made me one. Now we are all here writing at Fanstory.
I'll enter this contest, too.
Well done.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2023
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You are super brave. You can face our fear head-on. I don't anyone as brave and determined as you are. I had a very different childhood than you were. You love of reading made you a writer while my tumultuous life made me one. Now we are all here writing at Fanstory.
I'll enter this contest, too.
Well done.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2023
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Thank you for a great review. You had a childhood in China at a time when things were scary. It sounds like your realtionship with your parent was different as well. Maybe it worked out for both of us to become writers.
Beth
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your contest entry was well done, Beth. You explained your
fears and how you overcame them. I believe you being
an only child was a major factor. You gave readers great insight
into your life as you detailed how you worked through your fears.
That wasp on your nose was scary, but you survived. Your info
was well organized.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the contest, Jan
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2023
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Your contest entry was well done, Beth. You explained your
fears and how you overcame them. I believe you being
an only child was a major factor. You gave readers great insight
into your life as you detailed how you worked through your fears.
That wasp on your nose was scary, but you survived. Your info
was well organized.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the contest, Jan
Comment Written 29-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2023
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Thank you, Jan. I never told anyone about doing that before. I'm pretty sure it wasn't normal but like you said, I was an only child and didn't exactly know how to be normal.
Beth
Comment from royowen
You've always been pretty smart and from my perspective, you've met what I have with a fearless endeavour, but I'm a loner by nature, but developed skills in the art of group living, I am the ponderer, which helps me with working things out. But most of my life I've flown by "the seat of my pants" so I understand, I was good at sport, which helped me with my red hair and freckles. (Not any more) beautifully written Beth, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2023
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You've always been pretty smart and from my perspective, you've met what I have with a fearless endeavour, but I'm a loner by nature, but developed skills in the art of group living, I am the ponderer, which helps me with working things out. But most of my life I've flown by "the seat of my pants" so I understand, I was good at sport, which helped me with my red hair and freckles. (Not any more) beautifully written Beth, blessings Roy
Comment Written 29-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2023
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Thank you, Roy. I tend to be the loner type also but I've been able to push myself into social situation and be a leader when I needed to. My dad had red hair and freckles as a child, and it bothered him. He might have teased. His hair turned black before he went bald.
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That?s great
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. I have always believed women are stronger than they believe they are. It only shows when they need it. I enjoyed reading and wish you luck with this contest.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2023
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Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. I have always believed women are stronger than they believe they are. It only shows when they need it. I enjoyed reading and wish you luck with this contest.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2023
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Thank you Barbara, I appreciate the review. I was a odd kid and I've never told anyone before I did that. After reading it my daughter was shocked. She said I was even more of an egnima than she thought I was. lol I've been told by doctors and councelors that I'm am a very strong woman, but I wondered if it was a compliment. Women are supposed to soft-natured.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I think facing problems head on is the only way to cope. I left home when I was 18 and never looked back. I had no support from my parents from that day forward and faced many fears about living alone. I married a wonderful man and had a great life and when he died and I was alone again I had to rely on my wits and once again grow up. I have become a tough old bird! Ha ha ha. I loved reading your hones story Beth and you opened your heart to us here, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2023
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I think facing problems head on is the only way to cope. I left home when I was 18 and never looked back. I had no support from my parents from that day forward and faced many fears about living alone. I married a wonderful man and had a great life and when he died and I was alone again I had to rely on my wits and once again grow up. I have become a tough old bird! Ha ha ha. I loved reading your hones story Beth and you opened your heart to us here, love Dolly x
Comment Written 29-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2023
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Thank you Dolly. I guess you and I are both tough old birds. I think you need to be tough to survive this crazy world. I had a wonderful husband for 61 years but now I've been alone for five, and I'm enjoying living alone.
Beth
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I have been alone for 13 years after 31 years of marriage Beth, glad you are coping and enjoying being alone, it makes us a little selfish as I like my own time to do with it as I please x x x
Comment from LateBloomer
Hi Beth, thank you for taking us down memory lane with you. Your story is well written, and it is a story that many can/will relate to.
Of special note:
--He'd been an only child himself, and communicating about feelings wasn't his forte. He'd leave that to the women in the family.
(B, I think talking about one's feelings was something that men, in general, did not do especially during the time that you were growing up.)
--Grandma's advice went like this. "Get yourself a good education, and don't ever depend on any man."
(I like Grandma's advice, and I agree with it. She's a girl after my own heart, and her words were wise.)
-- Kids who cried were the ones who were bullied at school.
(B, some things never change. To this day, kids who are soft and cry easily are still bullied.)
--At ten, I'd been carried aloft by a tornado.
(Beth, being carried away by a tornado is something to really be fearful about. Recently, a grown man reported on TV that he was inside his car and carried away by a tornado, and he was still almost in tears, understandably so. He thought that he was really going to die.
--In fact, I started to enjoy having the house to myself. Another fear was behind me.
(I think that all kids like having the house to themselves from time to time. I like having the house to myself when my hubby is out and about for a while.)
--These days, when I'm faced with something I feel nervous about, instead of shying away, I'm likely to remember the best way to deal with life is to face it head on.
(Beth, you have the right idea and the right attitude. Keep doing what you are doing.)
Well done; well told. A pleasure to read. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck. Xo. Margaret ~ LateBloomer
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2023
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Hi Beth, thank you for taking us down memory lane with you. Your story is well written, and it is a story that many can/will relate to.
Of special note:
--He'd been an only child himself, and communicating about feelings wasn't his forte. He'd leave that to the women in the family.
(B, I think talking about one's feelings was something that men, in general, did not do especially during the time that you were growing up.)
--Grandma's advice went like this. "Get yourself a good education, and don't ever depend on any man."
(I like Grandma's advice, and I agree with it. She's a girl after my own heart, and her words were wise.)
-- Kids who cried were the ones who were bullied at school.
(B, some things never change. To this day, kids who are soft and cry easily are still bullied.)
--At ten, I'd been carried aloft by a tornado.
(Beth, being carried away by a tornado is something to really be fearful about. Recently, a grown man reported on TV that he was inside his car and carried away by a tornado, and he was still almost in tears, understandably so. He thought that he was really going to die.
--In fact, I started to enjoy having the house to myself. Another fear was behind me.
(I think that all kids like having the house to themselves from time to time. I like having the house to myself when my hubby is out and about for a while.)
--These days, when I'm faced with something I feel nervous about, instead of shying away, I'm likely to remember the best way to deal with life is to face it head on.
(Beth, you have the right idea and the right attitude. Keep doing what you are doing.)
Well done; well told. A pleasure to read. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck. Xo. Margaret ~ LateBloomer
Comment Written 29-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2023
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Thank you, Margaret, I really appreciate your in depth review of my story. I loved reading all of your comments.
Beth
