Comment from Janel Mock

Excellent

I loved reading this! It made me feel happy for once! Usually I am drawn to dark and sad but I needed this more than I realized .Thank you for sharing! ~Janel

 Comment Written 02-May-2023

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reply by the author on 02-May-2023

I'm so happy you liked it, Janel! I completely relate to the pull of dark poetry; I tend to write that way, as well.
Xo
Jessica

Comment from ESOSTINE

Excellent

Your poem is well structured and meets the requirement of Senryu. I could imagine the slipping off while dancing on puddles, and amusing to have the butts drowning in the puddles. We played this game as kids, and it was 'fun' to see others slip and fall into the puddles. Well done, and good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 02-May-2023

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reply by the author on 02-May-2023

Thanks so much!

Comment from Yin Cheah

Excellent

I like the humorous end to your senryu! The attached picture is also attractive. Dancing in the rain is always a romantic notion but the truth is moire mundane. Your poem starts with that promise but brings us back to earth! Nice! Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 01-May-2023

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reply by the author on 02-May-2023

Thanks so much!

Comment from Rosemary Everson1

Excellent

The butt can definitely get muddy if they go through the puddles and splash while fox trotting. Dancing in the rain does really happen in some cases, if they have a dance outdoors.

 Comment Written 01-May-2023

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reply by the author on 01-May-2023

Yes, true! Thanks for your review!:)

Comment from Kaiku

Excellent

I recall seeing this artwork on FanArtReview. Your words do a nice job of complimenting the drawing and vice versa. Who minds if one's butt gets a little wet, the joy in the process is worth it.

 Comment Written 28-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 29-Apr-2023

Thanks so much! I agree!!

reply by Kaiku on 29-Apr-2023

Yep

Comment from ImaginosBuzzardoDesdinova

Exceptional

This poem made me laugh. So many fond memories of dancing in the rain and slipping in the puddles. Still it was worth it in the end. It's one of the reasons one of my favourite video game lines is "Dance! Water! Dance!"

 Comment Written 28-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 29-Apr-2023

Thank you so much! I greatly appreciate the review and stars!!

Comment from shelley kaye

Excellent

a suggestion i have is to put the dash at the end of the second line for the reader to pause before landing on their butt LOL!

dancing in the rain
my feet are drawn to puddles ~

and so is my butt


also maybe try a greyish background with a blue font to blend in with the cool, fun picture?

just a few thoughts ;)

excellent senryu - sounds like me lol


thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest (and staying on your feet)

shelley :)

 Comment Written 28-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 29-Apr-2023

Thank you, Shelley! I'll take a look!

Comment from Raul1

Excellent

This poem meets the requirements for the contest. It's beautifully written. The sentences flow with clarity. It is clear and concise. Excellent work! Thank you for sharing!

 Comment Written 28-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 29-Apr-2023

Thank you!!

Comment from nomi338

Excellent

Be that as it may, sounds like a boatload of fun. One can always dry off and wash off the dirt or mud. That is after an afternoon of fun wallowing in the rain and resulting mud.

 Comment Written 28-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 29-Apr-2023

Thank you! Much appreciated!

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Hahaha.... good imagery, I can see the girl trying to be graceful and falling on her butt.

Senryu in the beginning were comical and some satirical and crude. Now it's anything to do with human experience.

 Comment Written 28-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 29-Apr-2023

Thank you so much, Gypsy!