An April Fool
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Moon"NaPoWriMo 2023
6 total reviews
Comment from royowen
Well done Alicia, you've almost made it to the end of this national competition and challenge to the few that engage it's difficult journey and magnificent accomplishment, well done my friend, blessings Roy
Typo : In any (Phrase) of the moon. Phase? 2: Pluto (exixts) exists?
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Well done Alicia, you've almost made it to the end of this national competition and challenge to the few that engage it's difficult journey and magnificent accomplishment, well done my friend, blessings Roy
Typo : In any (Phrase) of the moon. Phase? 2: Pluto (exixts) exists?
Comment Written 27-Apr-2023
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is a charming celebration of the moon and the galaxy with good imagery in the first stanza and a calming, romantic tone throughout. I would however change 'phrase' to 'phase' and remove the 's' from 'makes' as the verb is referring to the plural stars. But well done here! Thanks for sharing. Take care, Debbie
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This is a charming celebration of the moon and the galaxy with good imagery in the first stanza and a calming, romantic tone throughout. I would however change 'phrase' to 'phase' and remove the 's' from 'makes' as the verb is referring to the plural stars. But well done here! Thanks for sharing. Take care, Debbie
Comment Written 27-Apr-2023
Comment from Ricky1024
"Moon" this was well written Rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
Thanks for sharing this and have a great day.
Doctor Ricky
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"Moon" this was well written Rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
Thanks for sharing this and have a great day.
Doctor Ricky
Comment Written 27-Apr-2023
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
The moon has a tradition of being romantic as it brings a subtle light at night and encourages togetherness, I enjoyed your magical write about the coyotes croon and the romantic mood and other moons in the solar system here Alicia, a soothing write, love Dolly x
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The moon has a tradition of being romantic as it brings a subtle light at night and encourages togetherness, I enjoyed your magical write about the coyotes croon and the romantic mood and other moons in the solar system here Alicia, a soothing write, love Dolly x
Comment Written 26-Apr-2023
Comment from lancellot
Hmm, I think this is interesting and has promise. It does need some additional editing.
notes:
the night is special in any {phrase} of the
moon
- I think you meant: phase
stars in the sky {makes} even the coyotes croon
-make
tiny pluto exixts among the galaxy
-tiny Pluto exists among the galaxy
there are multiple moons in the solar system
- Actually, Moon, is the name of Earth's natural satellite. There other natural satellites in our solar system.
comic charm works from moon to earth for partaking
-cosmic charm works from the Moon to Earth for partaking
there are multiple moons in the solar system
smaller than the earth but holds a great position
- This couplet does not rhyme.
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Hmm, I think this is interesting and has promise. It does need some additional editing.
notes:
the night is special in any {phrase} of the
moon
- I think you meant: phase
stars in the sky {makes} even the coyotes croon
-make
tiny pluto exixts among the galaxy
-tiny Pluto exists among the galaxy
there are multiple moons in the solar system
- Actually, Moon, is the name of Earth's natural satellite. There other natural satellites in our solar system.
comic charm works from moon to earth for partaking
-cosmic charm works from the Moon to Earth for partaking
there are multiple moons in the solar system
smaller than the earth but holds a great position
- This couplet does not rhyme.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2023
Comment from lyenochka
Thanks for including Pluto in the family of celestial bodies in the galaxy! My favorite line was: "true romance is a rising tide in the making". Enjoyed your rhyming couplets!
tiny pluto exixts among the galaxy (Pluto exists)
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Thanks for including Pluto in the family of celestial bodies in the galaxy! My favorite line was: "true romance is a rising tide in the making". Enjoyed your rhyming couplets!
tiny pluto exixts among the galaxy (Pluto exists)
Comment Written 26-Apr-2023