Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

I guess you needed all of the first thousand words to get the setting down. I'm guessing Ben has some very big work to do to stop a strike and get payment for the men.
Suggestion:
Something wrong here (Something's)

 Comment Written 23-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023

Thank you for your kind review.
You are correct (something). I guess you might call my usage a colloquialism.

reply by lyenochka on 23-Apr-2023

And a colloquialism is totally fine for true to speech dialogue!!

Comment from BethShelby

Excellent

The Lord seems to be leading Ben to work at many different types of jobs. I guess he mostly works to change men attitudes no matter whatever they type of work. Ben seems to be able to fit in whereever he goes. I"m looking forward to seeing how he handles the troublemaker among this group.

 Comment Written 22-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 22-Apr-2023

His method should not be copied except by direct leading of the Holy Spirit - just a heads up!
Thank you for your kind review.

Comment from Jay Squires

Excellent

All I can say, Wayne, is that I'm sorry I missed reading this from the beginning. I like the strength of your character, Ben. I can't put my finger on it, yet, but there is a thread of authenticity running through this chapter owing to the varied dialogue, which was very well done, by the way. With that authenticity, we can trust that the characters will perform as they speak. You seem to have knowledge of the times, whether through research or wide reading. But none of it is wasted here.

I'm looking forward to continuing on with this book.

Jay

 Comment Written 22-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 22-Apr-2023

Thank you for your very kind review.

Comment from Wendy G

Excellent

I'm curious to see how Ben will handle this very difficult situation, but he doubtless has a plan, and it will be effective. Such corrupt practices of mistreating fellow humans has been around forever and still is. Well written.
Wendy

 Comment Written 21-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 22-Apr-2023

Thank you for your very kind review.
The plan Ben is about to take should not be done without the leading of the Holy Spirit.

Comment from Carol Hillebrenner

Excellent

This chapter is going well. The job Ben took is not. The bosses are not treating them well, but they seemed to have more or less expected that. You left it at a good point when Ben is speaking to them.

 Comment Written 21-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 22-Apr-2023

Thank you. Cutting a chapter is gruesome work.
(smiley face here)

Comment from royowen

Excellent

There was a lot of trouble over the years in England of all places, not only in in the mines but in other industries, it's just as well due to deaths, illness and sheer exploitation, things got better and safer. A great tale Wayne, well done, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 21-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 21-Apr-2023

Thank you for your kind review.

Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

Well written first half of your chapter. Good length and pace with characters coming into their own. I like your theme of the working man taking on the greedy bosses with Ben at the helm. This promises to get very interesting. Good job. Thanks for sharing, Debbie

 Comment Written 21-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 21-Apr-2023

Thank you for your kind review.

Comment from Evelyn Hopkins

Excellent

I like the story! very interesting topic and idea. I also like the picture chosen to go with this. I hope you have a good day :)

 Comment Written 21-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 21-Apr-2023

Thank you very much. Yes, it's been a fine day!

Comment from nancy_e_davis

Excellent

I believe this to be a readable length.
I managed it even with my fading sight.
A nice cliffhanger as well. It is going
to be difficult finding a way to remedy
the situation here. Greed rules for sure.
Well done, Wayne. Nancy:)

 Comment Written 21-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 21-Apr-2023

Thank you for your very nice review.

Comment from Jim Wile

Excellent

Great chapter, Wayne. You made us really feel the ire of these men who are hard workers but ill-treated by their bosses. I'm anxious for the continuation of this chapter to see what happens, and what part Ben will play in the growing crisis. Well-written and believable. Jim

 Comment Written 21-Apr-2023

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reply by the author on 21-Apr-2023

I might accelerate the 2nd half. I hated to cut it, but got too much (legitimate) criticism of lengthy chapters.
Thank you for your review.
Question - What would you do about the antagonist that I have cut out so far? I omitted a whole chapter of introduction because it didn't advance the plot, and cut out incidents in other chapters because they seemed to confuse reviewers. In the book, there is a nemesis who presents as a real threat to the man of God. He will play a large role at the book's climax. Would that be the place to insert him for FS readers even though it would be all 'telling' not 'showing'? Thanks for your thoughts.

reply by Jim Wile on 21-Apr-2023

I think you could probably do it in such a way that it will be as much showing as telling. You could introduce him now in the present but reveal much of his backstory as flashbacks in which he speaks and interacts with folks, thus showing what he is like and letting the reader form their opinion of him. But give hints of something so that the reader can see how this character will fit in with the current story, so it just doesn't seem thrown in for no reason.

Better to do it before you get too much further into the story so that it won't seem out of the blue when you get to his interactions with Ben.

reply by the author on 21-Apr-2023

Thank you. I knew I was asking the right guy!

reply by Jim Wile on 21-Apr-2023

One other thing: Best not to just write about him once and then completely drop him until the end. You'll probably want either some short chapters again of him in the present (with maybe even further flashbacks) advancing toward his meeting with Ben and which give the reader further insight into the coming conflict.

reply by the author on 21-Apr-2023

Agree. As I said, he's a continuing antagonist, so I 'have' to do something. And dropping him altogether eliminates nearly all tension from the thing.