Lost Years
Ignoring what matters, leads to loneliness.17 total reviews
Comment from Sally Law
I missed this contest completely and there was so many great entries, including yours. The feeling of losing days, weeks, months and years is the worst. So well penned and illustrated.
Sending you my best today as always.
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2023
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I missed this contest completely and there was so many great entries, including yours. The feeling of losing days, weeks, months and years is the worst. So well penned and illustrated.
Sending you my best today as always.
Sal XOs
Comment Written 11-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2023
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Thank you,Sal. I really appreciate the review and comments. I've personally never felt lonely but I needed to practice writing free verse.
Beth
Comment from Jim Wile
This sounds like the lament of Ebeneezer Scrooge toward the end of "A Christmas Carol" when he became aware of how he'd conducted his life and what he missed out by so doing. He was lucky enough to be granted a reprieve and learned from his experience with the spirits before it was too late for him. Maybe there's hope yet for your protagonist?
This was very well written. I loved your imagery of the shadows of memory creeping over the horizon liked ghosts of the past. Jim
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2023
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This sounds like the lament of Ebeneezer Scrooge toward the end of "A Christmas Carol" when he became aware of how he'd conducted his life and what he missed out by so doing. He was lucky enough to be granted a reprieve and learned from his experience with the spirits before it was too late for him. Maybe there's hope yet for your protagonist?
This was very well written. I loved your imagery of the shadows of memory creeping over the horizon liked ghosts of the past. Jim
Comment Written 11-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2023
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Thank you Jim. I appareciate the review and comments. I'm glad you like the imagery.
Beth
Comment from Brett Matthew West
"Ignoring what matter" should be Ignoring what matters.
"Loneless" should be Loneliness.
Good visual painted in the first stanza captures the "quiet of evening" as it "creep eerily across the horizon".
Looking back to what has gone sure can make one feel exactly as this poem's theme expresses.
Time can definately "deny reprieve from this empty shell."
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2023
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"Ignoring what matter" should be Ignoring what matters.
"Loneless" should be Loneliness.
Good visual painted in the first stanza captures the "quiet of evening" as it "creep eerily across the horizon".
Looking back to what has gone sure can make one feel exactly as this poem's theme expresses.
Time can definately "deny reprieve from this empty shell."
Comment Written 11-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2023
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Thank you Brett. I appreciate the review and comments. I'm glad you saw the errors. The poem wasn't about me. I don't ever remember being lonely. As an only child, I learned to enjoy being alone, and now, I feel I don't have enough alone time.
Beth
Comment from jake cosmos aller
powerful and moving poem about loneliness, regret, thinking of lost love and lost chances in life. I like the images the poem evokes and the image chosen as well.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2023
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powerful and moving poem about loneliness, regret, thinking of lost love and lost chances in life. I like the images the poem evokes and the image chosen as well.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2023
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Thank you Jake. I really appreciate the review and comments. I"m glad you found the poem moving and a good description of lost chances.
Beth
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your free verse on loneliness read well, Beth. I enjoyed
reading it, though it was poignant. I liked everything about
the presentation--the image, to colors, and the word choices.
Those words were descriptive and painted a sad picture of
what one could've had if s/he acted in a different way.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2023
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Your free verse on loneliness read well, Beth. I enjoyed
reading it, though it was poignant. I liked everything about
the presentation--the image, to colors, and the word choices.
Those words were descriptive and painted a sad picture of
what one could've had if s/he acted in a different way.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
Comment Written 10-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2023
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Thank you Jan. I appreciate the review and comments. It isn't about me but I've known people that could idenity with this.
Beth
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Even walking in a busy street can make your loneliness more acute. This is such a sad poem, Beth, and there are so many people feeling this way. I'm hoping you aren't feeling too so alone. This is a very well written poem, the picture it paints depicts loneliness so well. Well done, my friend. Sandra xx
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2023
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Even walking in a busy street can make your loneliness more acute. This is such a sad poem, Beth, and there are so many people feeling this way. I'm hoping you aren't feeling too so alone. This is a very well written poem, the picture it paints depicts loneliness so well. Well done, my friend. Sandra xx
Comment Written 10-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2023
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Thank you Sandra. No the poem isn't about me. I don't ever remember feeling lonely. I'be alway had a more than adiquate support system and I don't usually get enough alone time.
Beth
Comment from Wendy G
Very powerful and moving poem. The trouble is we only see these things in retrospect. Excellent writing. Best wishes for your entry in this contest.
Wendy
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2023
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Very powerful and moving poem. The trouble is we only see these things in retrospect. Excellent writing. Best wishes for your entry in this contest.
Wendy
Comment Written 09-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2023
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Thank you. I really appreciate the review and comments.
Comment from Ginda Simpson
Oh, what a lonely place you create with your words, filled with remorse and regrets. You could not have written a more poignant poem about loneliness.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2023
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Oh, what a lonely place you create with your words, filled with remorse and regrets. You could not have written a more poignant poem about loneliness.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2023
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Thank you so much for the review and lovely comments.
Comment from Mary Vigasin
I wish you well in the contest.
I found your lonely poem haunting and poignant. I am giving you my first six of the week . So well deserved.
My best wishes.
Mary
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2023
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I wish you well in the contest.
I found your lonely poem haunting and poignant. I am giving you my first six of the week . So well deserved.
My best wishes.
Mary
Comment Written 09-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2023
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Thank yoo so much Mary. I'm so glad liked my poem. I really appreciate the six stars.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
The piece is fine and yet I find having it stretched out isn't necessary. I would have printed the paragraphical words tighter, with a double space between each stanza. That's just a suggestion, but like Burger King have it your way.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2023
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The piece is fine and yet I find having it stretched out isn't necessary. I would have printed the paragraphical words tighter, with a double space between each stanza. That's just a suggestion, but like Burger King have it your way.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2023
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I hate spacing too but I can't get it more compact. I"ve tried, but that is that the way the program spaces it. Even when I copy it from the word program. Thanks for the review.
