A Poetic Pause
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Absence"First Poems
4 total reviews
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Just a little suggestion for your poem. It is difficult to see and read. Could you possibly lighten up the print or use a different font? Let me know and I will give you a better rating. Looks much better. Thank you.
The image shows lightning strikes .... this reminds me of the tornado (permeating air) that hit Mississippi. How sad their hearts must be.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2023
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Just a little suggestion for your poem. It is difficult to see and read. Could you possibly lighten up the print or use a different font? Let me know and I will give you a better rating. Looks much better. Thank you.
The image shows lightning strikes .... this reminds me of the tornado (permeating air) that hit Mississippi. How sad their hearts must be.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2023
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I hope that's better for you. I tried to make the word bigger but it wouldn't go too much bigger so I went ahead and Change the style and bold it it hopefully that will be better thank you again. I hope you have a great day!
Comment from Amanda Black
Beautifully sad. Poignant and to the point. I love the metaphor. The only thing that would have made me like it more is if you used different, more descriptive or meaningful words than "bleak" and "gray".
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2023
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Beautifully sad. Poignant and to the point. I love the metaphor. The only thing that would have made me like it more is if you used different, more descriptive or meaningful words than "bleak" and "gray".
Comment Written 27-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2023
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Hi Amanda thank you so much for your review and for your suggestions in. Time yeah you're absolutely right? I did switch up a little bit if you care to peak thank you again. I hope you have a wonderful day
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I like the new words! It doesn't quite match the imagery anymore but I think it speaks louder and the picture can always be changed. Great Job!
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Ty!
Comment from JT traveller
You certainly met the criteria for writing a sad poem. Powerful illustration but I personally am unsure about the use of the term "molesting", somehow it does not seem to fit in this sense. Best of luck.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
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You certainly met the criteria for writing a sad poem. Powerful illustration but I personally am unsure about the use of the term "molesting", somehow it does not seem to fit in this sense. Best of luck.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
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Yeah I struggled with that word a little bit so yeah I know you're accurate my own feeling. Definitely I thank you very much for checking it out. I hope you have a great wonderful day I always appreciate your thoughts thank you again!
Comment from Kayliegh
This is definitely very sad, I love the picture and font. I normally don't like short poems but I think you definitely made it work. But on that note, if I had one complaint I wish this poem was longer. Other then that great poem and great work! If this is actually how you live, I wish you healing and love. Remember, no matter what it seems like, wounds always heal.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
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This is definitely very sad, I love the picture and font. I normally don't like short poems but I think you definitely made it work. But on that note, if I had one complaint I wish this poem was longer. Other then that great poem and great work! If this is actually how you live, I wish you healing and love. Remember, no matter what it seems like, wounds always heal.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2023
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Thank you very much for your time and for your kind comments. I very much appreciate it before your review and I'm going through my work. I am blessed too thank you very much! I intended to make the poem longer but then I wrote that line that said my heartless there. And I thought what more is there to say?