Paper Bag Tumbling
Paper Bags at the mercy of Nature and Man.16 total reviews
Comment from GWHARGIS
Very cool piece of writing. I liked the visual of the bag. Then a dog, curious but not inspired enough to get it. Kind of a free for all journey on the road. Great job creating curiosity and suspence. Gretchen
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
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Very cool piece of writing. I liked the visual of the bag. Then a dog, curious but not inspired enough to get it. Kind of a free for all journey on the road. Great job creating curiosity and suspence. Gretchen
Comment Written 31-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
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Thanks Gretchen,
Glad you liked the story. A bit of a different write but has picked up a good number of positive reviews.
Have a great day and take care.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from karenina
Very cool. I've seen the scene hundreds of times and never stopped to think about it...
Where did it come from? Who let it go? Is this freedom? A metaphor or a snapshot of life?
Suddenly I'm thinking about it...
Your dribble lit up my synapses!
Karenina
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
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Very cool. I've seen the scene hundreds of times and never stopped to think about it...
Where did it come from? Who let it go? Is this freedom? A metaphor or a snapshot of life?
Suddenly I'm thinking about it...
Your dribble lit up my synapses!
Karenina
Comment Written 30-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
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Karenina,
Thanks for the positive review.I am glad you had the reaction you did Exactly what I was hoping people would do. You have a great day, keep writing and take care.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
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Thanks! You too!
Comment from royowen
Not only a paper bag, but tumbleweed, which has be the subject of a song for a drifter, or a plastic bag, someone's hat, or a runaway hat, where will they settle? Well done Barry, beautifully written, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
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Not only a paper bag, but tumbleweed, which has be the subject of a song for a drifter, or a plastic bag, someone's hat, or a runaway hat, where will they settle? Well done Barry, beautifully written, blessings Roy
Comment Written 30-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
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Yes Roy, you are correct that there are many things that can tumble . Perhaps I can do a series of tumbling objects lol. Take care and thanks for taking the time to review my dribble flash. All the best.
Barry Penfold.
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Well done
Comment from Terry Broxson
Barry, this is an interesting flash entry. I have two thoughts, and they are most likely not what you intended, but because the writers here are encouraged to exchange ideas. I will offer you two.
When I first read the story, I thought it might be a metaphor for how we humans sometimes go through life. A little minor editing at the end would nail that thought. But only if it appeals to you.
My second thought is unrelated to the first. A paper bag will decompose, but a plastic bag would go on forever.
Just a couple of ideas. Good work, and good luck in the contest. Terry.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
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Barry, this is an interesting flash entry. I have two thoughts, and they are most likely not what you intended, but because the writers here are encouraged to exchange ideas. I will offer you two.
When I first read the story, I thought it might be a metaphor for how we humans sometimes go through life. A little minor editing at the end would nail that thought. But only if it appeals to you.
My second thought is unrelated to the first. A paper bag will decompose, but a plastic bag would go on forever.
Just a couple of ideas. Good work, and good luck in the contest. Terry.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
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Terry,
Thanks for your thoughts and I do like the second one as being a bit more appropriate for where I was going with this piece. However, I have a few people put their own interpretation on it and I am totally fine with that. Great that you are thingking about it and sharing that with me.
You have a great day and take care.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Yes, nature and man does determine the fate of this paper. Hopefully somebody picks it up and places it where it belongs. In the trash. Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
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Yes, nature and man does determine the fate of this paper. Hopefully somebody picks it up and places it where it belongs. In the trash. Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
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Barbara,
Yes it does belong in the trash but thanks so much for taking time to review my story. It is great to have your feedback.
Take care and have a great day .
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Mary Vigasin
I would imagine writing a story with so few words is a challenge and make it interesting at the same time. Here your imagination and creativity took a paper bag and sent it along on a journey carried by the wind.
Very smart, creative, and well done.
Good luck in the contest.
Mary
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
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I would imagine writing a story with so few words is a challenge and make it interesting at the same time. Here your imagination and creativity took a paper bag and sent it along on a journey carried by the wind.
Very smart, creative, and well done.
Good luck in the contest.
Mary
Comment Written 30-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
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Mary,
Thanks so much for taking time to review my story. Glad you enjoyed it . A bit different but seems to work well. Take care and have a great day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
Comment from LJbutterfly
You have chosen a subject, given it thought, and developed a realistic and creative story for the dribble flash fiction contest. Your well chosen words allow readers to easily envision an unstoppable wind-blown paper bag. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2023
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You have chosen a subject, given it thought, and developed a realistic and creative story for the dribble flash fiction contest. Your well chosen words allow readers to easily envision an unstoppable wind-blown paper bag. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2023
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Thanks for taking the time to read and review my dribble flash fiction entry. Glad you enjoyed it. Take care and have a wonderful day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
Comment from jmdg1954
This is a varied dribble flash fiction entry. Very well thought out with the use of prose and dome rhyme schemes.
I liked that, very ingenious!
I think it should do well in the contest.
Cheers to the tumbling brown sack!
John
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2023
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This is a varied dribble flash fiction entry. Very well thought out with the use of prose and dome rhyme schemes.
I liked that, very ingenious!
I think it should do well in the contest.
Cheers to the tumbling brown sack!
John
Comment Written 29-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2023
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John,
Thanks very much for taking the time to read my flash fiction story. A little bit different. Glad you enjoyed it.
Please take care and have a great day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Mario PIERRE
This post is interesting by its originality and the questions it makes us ask: where will the paper end? If it had eyes and ears, what would it witness along it's way?
I enjoyed it!
Mario
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2023
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This post is interesting by its originality and the questions it makes us ask: where will the paper end? If it had eyes and ears, what would it witness along it's way?
I enjoyed it!
Mario
Comment Written 28-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2023
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Mario,
Thanks for taking the time to read and review my flash fiction entry. Glad you enjoyed it .A bit different so we will see how it goes. Keep safe and have a great day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Yes, the wind will send those bags on all kinds of
journeys. I enjoyed your fun contest entry, Barry.
We have more plastic bags blowing in the wind, though.
Your words were descriptive and created good imagery.
I believe the word enquires should be inquires unless
yours is UK spelling.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the contest, Jan
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2023
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Yes, the wind will send those bags on all kinds of
journeys. I enjoyed your fun contest entry, Barry.
We have more plastic bags blowing in the wind, though.
Your words were descriptive and created good imagery.
I believe the word enquires should be inquires unless
yours is UK spelling.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the contest, Jan
Comment Written 27-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2023
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Jan,
Thanks for taking time to read my contest entry. Glad you enjoyed it . I tried something different. Lets see how it goes. Yes I have used the UK spelling. Thanks for pointing it out though.
Have a great day and take care.
Regards
Barry Penfold
